Asthma UK community forum
9,892 members16,648 posts


i am so angry today with my dr. I went to see her today and have come away so angry i was crying. How can a doctor say every health problem i have is because i care for my mum, that is what i was told today. Was so shocked and hurt that that information the gps have was used against me. Does she think i asked to be a carer.

Sorry for the rant need to just get it out

8 Replies


just read your post and had to reply. I also looked after my dad for 13 years as well as having two kids with medical problems and have to say that, most of the time the gps would say the same and probs thought oh lord she is here again lol.

But honestly caring for someone does take a lot out of you, somedays I feel ninety and I'm 44 lol.

I have arthritis and it wasn't caused by me being a carer, it just makes it worse as i'm always on the go, and have little time to myself.

Iv'e learned to switch off to some peoples comments and say so what will help me then, can you.

Hope this helps



I understand your anger but wonder if they know something we dont. I cared for my sister for 26 years until her children took up this role. We are twins, I have 7 major health complaints her only complaint is the spinal injury. We had the same environmental factors, diet and upbringing, she is outspoken I am quiet. I am learning to delegate and look after myself now as less stress.



i know but it what i went with other than my asthma is something my mum had and my sister has - how does this happen then


Amanda, I'm so sorry that you've had this nasty experience and I wish I could give you a big hug.

You aren't on your own dealing with illness and being a carer. I've been responsible for my Mum, who has dementia, for about 10 years now so I really do know how difficult your position is. Caring for somebody is difficult and stressful, even when your health is good and trying to look after someone when you feel ill yourself must be even worse. In addition to this, you are very young to have this sort of responsibility to deal with, which can't help at all.

My own experience tells me that my asthma gets worse when I'm stressed and it is likely that yours does the same so I would say that your GP should be aware that the stress you are under could worsen your symptoms and be prepared to offer you support and help you find ways to cope with it.

Implying that you wouldn't be ill at all if you weren't caring for your mum does no good at all - even if it were true she should be trying to find a way to help not accusing you of swinging the lead.

Your asthma is clearly very difficult at the moment and you need help. I hope that you feel that there is someone else at your surgery you can talk to wh might be a bit more helpful about your medication, and I would urge you to see them as soon as possible.

I also think you might need some help at home. Obviously I don't know anything about your Mum's condition and whether you need to do any lifting or personal care but I do know that your asthma is unlikely to improve if you try to do everything yourself. You've mentioned that you have a sister, but not how old she is. Can she help? Also, in many places there is a scheme that provides respite for carers - is your Mum ill enough that you qualify to take advantage of that?

I'm sorry for the long and rambling post. I hope I've managed to be a bit constructive but if you need any more thoughts about help for carers, or just to rant about how difficult it is to look after someone please feel free to PM me.

Finally, you mustn't feel guilty if you're finding it hard to look after your Mum. It is hard but you need to look after yourself as well as your Mum.

Have another hug.



I am going to change gps as 2 of the other drs are this ones parents i know its mad. But i feel like im banging my head on a wall. We get carers come in and my sister is in full time college and work so she is hardly at home. Thanks for your help though


I hope you find a new GP who is more understanding and constructive, and that things start to look up for you very soon.

Take care of yourself.




i have found a gps that maybe small and a nhs walkin clinic but am amazed at this. I have a new pacinte check up then once i have had that i will be given an appointment with a doctor and one with the asthma nurse there within a week or two was so shocke with that


aww hope your okay! just ignore them and carry on what your doing

chin up chick


You may also like...