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stopping hiding my asthma.

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Just needed to share this. Im 17 almost 18 and living at home while i do my last year of alevels so i guess im younger than most people on these boards.Today i mentioned wheezing at night to my mum and she said ' you actually got asthma properly now haven't you?' Now to me this seemed like a weird comment, but it made me realise how much I have hidden my asthma from my parents since it started to come back when I was 14. (I had it very mildly as a young child only needed inhaler with colds and nothing 10-14) and it has steadily got worse over the years, with breathing getting more interesting.

I managed my medication and syptoms, most of the time i will book my own appointments and not tell mum if i've had a bit of attack in school. Yes they do know i take regular medication and have trouble from time to time, but i don't often mention day to day symptoms to them and have never taken any of my inhalers in front of them. even if I'm wheezing or coughing and my inhaler is in my pocket i'll leave the room. I'm lucky I've never been admitted to hospital because of my asthma. But today the thought struck me, if i have a bad attack at home they won't know how to handle it or what to do. i tend to hide and deal with it and home. i don't think they even know the names of my meds or when to call an ambulance.

so I guess i'm asking is it normal to hide asthma?

and how do i help my parents understand my condition?

Because I think i need to be more open about it.I'm on step 3 treatment, and most of the time get daily symptoms, I'm not sure the way i handle it is 'safe'. Asthma can be dangerous a girl at my friend's school died last week and well it helped hit it home.

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8 Replies

hi getting tired, just wanted to say that what you have put rings true to me only its my husband rather than my parents. He obviously knows i have asthma and knows i take meds but thats it. He wouldn't know what i take or how much although he'd be able to get them from the cupboard. I too leave the room if i get my symptoms and need my vent and take my seretide when he's not there. I've only just recently been diagnosed so told my parents who said 'but you don't have any symptoms', i haven't lived with them for 6 years so how would they know!! The thing is its not that i.m hiding it, more that i don't want to talk about it too much coz i don't want to sound like i.m moaning, so i'd rather wait to be asked, which obviously is never going to happen. I don't know what the answer is but it is scary when you hear of people who die and i think if my family don't know what to do, if ever i have a bad attack it might be the difference between life and death.

Hi there, it's really good that you've decided to talk them through your asthma.

I'm a big shy about taking my inhalers in front of people, especially people I know. I won't take my meds in front of my partner, unless it's unavoidable. However I did talk him through what to do in an attack, and gave him an asthma uk card to keep in his pocket.

There was a thread a while back called something like 'ashamed of my asthma' which had lots of handy info in it - have a look!

im the same, im not really trying to hide it, just not interested in making a fuss unless its needed! if your worried then it might be helpful to print/write up the 'what to do during an asthma attack' section from this website and just have it around so if you were in trouble they could read it and know what to do. if im at a new mates house (like if ive not been there before) i have an 'asthma purse' which has an AUK card in and what to do and a spare inhaler and i just say where it is if for if im ill and its not a big deal!

wow

First thanks for so many quick replies!

i have an AUK card in my purse. And my close friends mostly understand my asthma, probably more than my parents anyway, because they have seen it more. Although i still do the insisting i'm fine thing with them, i hate people worrying, its kinda stupid but i do. part of me still can't accept asthma. For four years i had no symptoms, i could run and breathe easy. I thought i'd 'grown' out of it. And then it came back and came back with somewhat of a vengance.

I'm waffling a bit.

just trying to work out how to start being open, without scaring my mum. Can't talk to dad (he's a hypochondriac!)

Jen x

hi gettingtired,

Im in a very similar situation as well. I am not open to my parents about it at all. I dont exactly know why, but I think I am ashamed or just dont want them ignoring me if i tell them I am unwell, or over reacting! I also leave the room to take my inhalers and I dont think my mum has a clue what to do if I had an attack.

I think the main problem for me, is although I have symptoms almost every day and some are quite bad, I have never been hospitalised and I do not think that my mother will take this seriously until I am. I know that I have mild asthma but still, people can still die from it, but if i told her that she would think i am over exaggerating!

So I guess my reply to your question is, i know its hard to be open about it all, but you really need to be, because otherwise you are not safe!

Good luck! *hugs*

Lizzie xxx

I used to hide my asthma, which now I realised was to my detriment!

I think what you need to do is sit down with your parents, like I did when I had a new partner and explain everything, maybe even jot some things down so that they may be able to remember things a little better.

Hope you get the understanding you need

i talked to my mum

hey just thought i'd give you guys a bit of an update. sorry to bump.

I managed to talk to my mum on friday i was home off school ill cos my asthma joined forces with another cold to knock me for six. anyway i managed to talk to her about my asthm how bad it is how i handle it and what she should do if i get bad. the basics. it was hard i kind of blurted it a bit but i think she kinda understands now. adverse sisde effect she is now trying to persuade to go to doctors ...

now all i need to do is get rid of the cough i've had five days.

Jen xx

Moon1997 profile image
Moon1997

Hi , I'm 20 years old . I know that u posted this 8 years ago , but I have to write this or I'm gonna to explode.

I want to share my experience about this . When I was born supposedly according to what my parents tell me I had "respiratory problems " but not only when I was a baby, but also when I was in my childhood ( I don't remeber anything) . Then...now... the thing is that ...When I was about 14 years old, I began to experience the symptoms of asthma, especially an uncontrollable dry cough, wheezing and chest tightness. At that time I attended a medical appointment with my father and there the doctors told me, possibly it was asthma, they gave me a rx of chest and the radiologist doctor thought that it was also asthma. they gave me inhalers and I improved greatly. But when these medications ran out, the issue in my house also ended (for 2 months approximately I had the meds ).

It was then the next year when the symptoms returned and I really did not want to say anything and I preferred to hide it (I have hidden it and I will continue to hide it) because when I was 15 my mother got cancer and I did not want to add any weight to the situation in home . That's how I told my two best friends, what I telling all of you now and they supported me. I took the prescription that I had and I bought the medicines and I continued taking them until I turned 17, but this was really exhausting because I had to play to hide the inhalers. I know you may have commented that this is a lie, but no. In addition, you will think... Why she didn't say anything? , well ... at that time I did not say anything because my mother was sick for 2 years and later her recovery was focused on not adding more worries. And because after this my mom is a hypochondriac, so I do not want to tell this at home.

I would love for you to know and laugh at all the things I had to do to hide the inhalers every time I returned from high school. Sometimes I got caught by my mom who had the meds in my bag (because she checked my suitcase) and had to say that my friend had been lost in school and that she was very clueless and that I picked them up so she would not lose them.

Then when I finished high school three years ago , I decided not to take the medication again because I wanted to present to the military. Although for another reasons ( no health) I didn't go to the army ,but I decided that I could live without medication.

Now I'm in college studying RN nursing and I want to tell you, that for reasons like stress or I know , in the first semester I thought... I had to take the medication again, actually my asthma came back and hit me harder than could .

I couldn't walk a full block and had to stop my friends because I couldn't breathe, but I just told them , hey ! I had asthma (without any further details). Likewise some teachers found out( because my symptoms are really obviously) and now half the world knows it. But I'm afraid too, you wonder, why? .

Well, I would like that u analyze the matter , from this point of view, my mother is a hypochondriac and besides this, now she has changed and it turns out that any health problem that I have is my fault, so it is not the most favorable conditions to say this at home and I hope I do not have any attacks in my house because I would really be punished by this home. And my biggest fear is that if something happened in the university and they call my parents and tell them that I had an attack or something like that, they would surely say that WTF ...this is shit , it is a lie or I do not know, because for them I do not have any illness.

I know you will also say that this was really long, but I feel better having told it. Now my best friends are in other cities and I do not have anyone to say this to, since I find it very difficult to tell, besides I already told you, I do not take any medication (this makes me laugh because it sounds like I'm in drugs, hahaha I have not taken anything for 3 years and a half and it sucks), because I have huge symptoms every day and seriously I am struggling with trying to think that I hope that asthma calms down and have other quiet months.

By the way, I thought I was the only crazy girl who "hides asthma" and I've really come to think that I should leave the matter , but I do not know what to do

Thanks , and if u are reading this , I can only say thank you, thank you for allowing me to share this through this page

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