Not sure what to do...: I am going... - Asthma UK communi...

Asthma UK community forum

17,517 members21,937 posts

Not sure what to do...

Hidden
Hidden

I am going through a long bad patch with my asthma and I have more or less had a constant chest infection since december, I saw my chest consultant last month and he said there isn't much else he can try and If my chest is still bad next time I see him I will probably need to start on long term prednisolone.

When I told this to my husband , he told me I have to start excersising because he thinks doesn't want to be with someone who is always ill and he thinks my asthma is only bad because I don't excersise. He think it is some magic flipping cure!

I am worried he will leave me because i am now ill again with my chest, and obviously cant excersise when i am ill, another part of me thinks maybe he should be with someone who is healthy and he can have fun with and who is not always to ill to do things.

I Know alot of people have asthma alot worse then me on these boards I am just frustrated and upset that my husband is blaming lack of excersise for my chest problems, even though I work with kids which is quite an active job!

Lejaya

5 Replies
Hidden
Hidden

Aww duck not very nice of him. Does he ever come on here to read posts that might help a bit. Not really sure what to tell you other than maybe lovely walks together when the weather picks up and having a good day and if you can power walk for a few mins then slow down again.Hope you can work together and he gives you support and goes to checkups with you.Walking out doors keeps me happy when ok to do it,on my own or with my dog and hubby .We dont have a car to get out to the country but will try find a way by bus or taxi xxx take care and chin up duck xxx edit -my asthma hasnt got better with walks but keeps my chin up out in the fresh air and keep my reliever with me.Got a perdomitor now to see how well ive done each day or week xxx

Hi Lejaya, Ill health can put a strain on relationships. My husband is wonderfully understanding but others in my family have been very dismissive of my and my son's asthma, and it is hurtful. It is hard for some people to understand how it feels to have a long term health problem, and asthma is a pain because often we dont LOOK ill. I told a friend a while ago that I had a chest infection and felt terrible, and she said 'well you look alright'. And this is a close friend!

We all go through bad patches, so hopefully you will improve after a while. The last few months have been terrible for colds and chest infections. After a good spell my son and I have just succumbed, and everyone I meet seems to have had a problem Even the GP we saw today said she is ill (!!) and has had 2 lots of antibiotics.

Do you take Phyllcontin? That could be added into your medication if it hasnt already (rather than long term steroids). We both take it and it is very good.

Sorry for long post. Good luck and I hope things improve for you.

Hidden
Hidden

Hi Lejaya everyone of us has gone through a bad patch and come out the other end eventually. Constant ill health is a dreadful strain on everyone and maybe your husband is going through a bad patch too?? My husband is wonderful but he gets frustrated sometimes mainly because he cannot make me better and he feels useless. Maybe your husband is focusing on exercise because it is the only thing he feels he can maybe help you with? Try to get him to have a look at some of the postings on here and he will realise just how unwell you are and that it is just NOT YOUR FAULT!!! Even doctors say the wrong thing at times when they are not too sure what to do help. One GP I had not seen before said that maybe the reason why I couldn't talk for lack of breath was the fact that I am a bit overweight because of the steroid tablets???? He then examined me and said no it was Asthma!!! So chin up and just concentrate on getting well and hopefully things will work out for you. Keeping everything crossed for you!

Hidden
Hidden

hi everyone

thanks for all the replys, my husband used to be understanding when my asthma first got bad when I was 21, but since this latest bad spell and the possibility of long term pred he seems to be a lot less understanding. I think he has just had enough of me being ill all the time and he wants a wife he can go out with and do fun things with eg I think he might be bored, not sure but thats how he is making me feel.

I think I have also just had enough of all the infections, seems like it has been a really bad winter for a lot of people, hopefully we will all start to feel better once the weather becomes warmer.

Lejaya

Hidden
Hidden

Hi,

That all sounds rubbish :( Can't blame you for feeling down - hope you at least do get something sorted out to improve the asthma.

With your husband, it does sound like he doesn't really know much about asthma at all even though he's seen you with it - but sounds like he doesn't quite 'get it'. As others have said maybe show him some posts on here. It also sounds like he doesn't come with you to appts? I'd understand if you didn't want to (I hate having anyone else there) but if you were ok with it would you be able to persuade him to come to your next appt? If he heard it from the consultant or a resp nurse he might understand a bit more about what severe asthma is, what it means and why you can't just exercis and get rid of it - and he might stop trying to blame it on you for not exercising?

No idea if this would work, just a thought, but hope things improve on both fronts soon. xx

You may also like...