Rant Alert!!!

sorry, this is gonna be a really stupid and pointless post, just need to get it off my chest (no pun intended...)

it would be so much easier right now to just say ""i cant do that, its too difficult"" and just stay at home being miserable all by myself and worrying and feeling sorry for myself. instead, i go to class and sit there, and then at the end i think ""that was pointless, its too difficult"" or i just slept through the class. and getting more and more behind in my homework. tried doing what i thought was the simplest exercise, and got completely stuck, as i cant remember the correct terms for things i know i really know and have studied before (thanks to a stroke three years ago). life is getting so difficult. i always thought before that when i was physically ill (like now) i never really had any problem with the depression side of things, because in these situations you dont really have a choice, you have to fight to keep hanging on to life. but the way i feel tonight seems to be proving my theory all wrong. i dont know how long i can keep doing this, and having to put on a smile and joke about it all.

so sorry, rant over! hope youre all doing as well as can be expected!

Rose

2 Replies

oldestnewest
  • Oh Rose, I'm so sorry you're feeling so down. You are dealing with asthma as well as recovering from a stroke so it's not surprising that life is difficult for you. You need some help before depression really takes hold of you and you stop trying.

    Taking into account that your difficulties originate from physical problems there ought to be someone who could help you work out coping strategies. It also might be possible to get additional help with your studies, maybe a bit longer to complete homework or some extra tuition to help fill in some of the information that your stroke has made you lose.

    If you are feeling depressed all the time, try logging onto MoodGym and working through a few of the exercises. Again, this might help you work out some coping strategies.

    The other thing that might be having an effect is the time of year - many people have SAD, starting about now as the evenings draw in and there is more darkness than daylight. If this applies to you I would recommend that you change your normal light bulbs for daylight bulbs - you can get them from Amazon.

    Finally, you need to know that other people admire your courage in trying so hard to get back to a 'normal' life. Me for one.

    Be well, and don't give up.

    xx

  • Oh God, do I know how you feel! Im having prettty similar issues at the moment (although no stroke so your definatly having a harder time!) and its really difficult.

    Im finding it really difficult to finish Uni at the moment and keeping up with work is really difficult. I think that sometimes you need to ask for help, even if its just to get yourself a weekend of without having to worry about any school work or whatever, and go to a coffee shop to meet a friend (or do something else you enjoy). At least it gives you a chance to do something that you enjoy for a while.

    Sometimes asking for help can be really difficult, but I have certainly found it much better to keep school/college very up to date with when im sick/well so at least they have an accurate idea of whats going on! Its easier then for them to understand, as I think some people just don't realise how difficult asthma can get because its so common.

    Feel free to send me a PM if you want a chat. Its really really difficult, but maybe asking for some time off and admitting you need a bit of help would give you a chance to do something you enjoy. Thats bound to give you a bit of a lift.

    (Otherwise maybe ask your GP or consultant to refer you to a psychologist? Its alot to deal with and talking to someone not emotionally involved (or that doesnt know you) might be helpful?)

You may also like...