Hi All, I 've not used this site before for the forum but I am really looking for your advice. I went to see my GP on wed and she commented that my breathing seems unstable. To cut a long story short i ended up having a nebuliser at the surgery and then after a while they called an ambulance. I didn't think i was that bad, I was just tired. I went to A & E and from there to recuss (sp). I just wanted to sleep but they wanted to put me to sleep. I was trying to say ""no"" to them and that I wanted to wait for my boyfriend Martin to arrive but I don't think it was coming out. They were trying to knock me out and i panicked and tried pulling all the tubes and the next think i know i'm feeling out of it and that's it....
I woke up not knowing where i was and was able to hear but nothing else. I really was terrified as I couldn't speak or move. Eventually i could open my eyes and they removed the tube.
A doctor who i didn't recognise came to see me and i found her really abrupt. She was asking me what medication i took for my asthma but her tone was sarcastic and she then said to me that she didn't think i had asthma as you can't have asthma without any wheeze and I hadn't been wheezing.
I was stil in recuss at this stage and really whoozy so didn't really answer her. she then said that i might have mild asthma but wasn't managing it properly and she wanted me to see a specialist - a psychiatrist. I was really shocked by this and thought that she was saying that I was somehow making up an asthma attack just to get into hospital. I told her that I didn't need to see a psychiatrist and that I just wanted to go home.
After she went i dozed off again and martin arrived. I told him what the doc had said and a nurse came over and i asked to go home and he said i needed to stay in for a couple of days to get my asthma back under control. I told him what the doc had said and he said he wasn't aware of that and would talk to the doc. He came back and said that the doc was concerned that i was suffering anxiety attacks and that was exacerbating my asthma. I told him i was only anxious when i had to come to hospital as i hate it so much.
I'm sorry this is so long but I'm really confused. I signed myself out of hosp and since i got home i've been all over the place. I can't stop thinking about it and have been crying a lot. I'm so confused. I've been admitted to hosp about 15 times with my asthma and no-one has ever suggested that I am making it worse on myself before and my consultant is well regarded in his field and he has never suggested this either. Martin was told I was in a life threatening condition and i was told by a nurse i had had what is called a ""near fatal"". But if that is the case why did the doctor say that? and if it was just anxiety why did they intubate me? I'm really scared that it might happen again and I don't want to be intubated again cos it really scarred me when i could hear but couldn't do anything and i'm scared if i have an asthma attack and go to hospital and they don't believe me and I'm scared if I don't have asthma and I am actually mad - i know that sounds dramatic but i am really questioning myself now and my head is just a mess.
My ribs ache, my neck hurts and my throat feels like it is full of ulcers and I am just confused. Is it normal to feel like this after an intubation?
I am due to see the asthma nurse at the gp surgery on monday - what if they don't believe me either?
I'm sorry, i don't know what is going on. :o(