i'm new

hi,I signed up as my girlfriend has pretty bad asthma and I want to be able to help her. She does not like me seeing her ill and because it is faily often it causes problems but it upsets her a lot.When she is taking an attack what can i do to help her? I#ve tried talking and she will not listen it is like she is in denial. She does get really bad though, last week she requested an ambulance and locked herself in the bathroom.I don't want to lose her wit either splitting up or worse, what can i do when she is taking an asthma attack? I think she is worried i will leave her even though i have assurred her i won't. I've looked at the site and if anyone here can help to it will be so so useful.I just hope she doesn't go mad i am talking to strangers about her.thank you * Oscar *

4 Replies

  • Hi Oscar

    Good for you for seeking advice for this. Everyone is of course different in the way they wish to be helped during an asthma attack. Have you talked to her about this at a time when she is not having an asthma attack? She may appreciate that you want to help, but just don't know how. It's helpful if you set up a ""plan"", where you can have maybe a certain role. Other than that, it's helpful if you can make sure she has all her medications, spacers, etc, and just stay calm. This will help her. Good luck with everything!


  • Yes i have spoke to her but she just changes the subject - she thinks we are going to split up because of it and won't discuss it but as far as i'm concerned i love her for who she is no matter what happens or what is wrong.

    She just tries to hide away but i can hear are. i am woried it gets worse or she could die as i get the impression asthma can kill.

    I just don't know what to do if she has a bad attack, obviously i will phone an ambulance etc but if it takes time to arrive etc.

    I've looked into a first-aid course and the only local one is in 6 weeks time so i think i might do that too.

  • oscar, you sound like a very caring boyfriend and your gf is very lucky to have you. My bf is ace re: asthma and last year i went through a denial patch and he was gr8 at snapping me out of it! He is also incredibly calm during at attack which helps no end. A flapping friend or partner during an attack is no help whatsoever. Tell her what you've said on here ie that it won't affect your relationship and you arn't going to split up. Give her space too. Try telling her how you feel and then ask her how she feels. The best person to ask about what to do during an attack is the sufferer themselves and there is plenty of information on this site too.

    She is probably embarrassed or doesnt' want to upset you but if you reassure her she may well open up...asthmatics don't like to may a public scene.

    Perhaps suggest this site to her.

    Good luck and hope all works out ok


  • Oscar good on you for wanting to find out all you can to help your girlfriend. It shows how much you care for her to want to stand by her and help.

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