Could I have a bit of advice please?

Today, my oldest daughter was put in HDU, due to two bad asthma attacks on top of pneumonia and mild blood infection, my youngest daughter has her high school induction sort of thing. My stress levels are really high and I'm struggling to keep myself together because of it. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with it?

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hi

Hugs to you. I know how you feel as i have asthma i worry about how i will cope sometimes. I found that focusing on the positives helps me alot when i get stressed

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Its really hard when you are trying to tear yourself into pieces and be there for everyone. I had exactly this when my mother was ill (300 miles away) and my youngest daughter was due to sit her grammar school entrance exam. I was so torn and very stressed. Is there anyone who could be with your daughter in hospital while you go with your younger daughter? She doesn't need you in the same way, but she might be feeling upset and worried about her sister and it will probably mean a lot if you can give her some time too. Just make sure that you are contactable if needed. Take all the support that is on offer as you need to keep yourself sane and try to get some rest too as this will help you to cope better. Best Wishes

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In a way, although it's scary and horrible, my partner finds it easier to leave me in HDU or ITU because he knows that there is no possibility of me deteriorating without anyone noticing. I think he feels that he needs to be there more when I'm on the ward, in order to advocate for me.

It must be terribly hard to feel torn between two people who need you. I'm one of five children, so I've always ended up being left in hospital once I'm there, as the other kids needed my parents to be around for them. It was quite good for me, as it meant that I didn't get into the habit of relying on anyone else to know about my treatment or to speak for me, even from quite a young age.

Do you have anyone that you can talk to for support? My godmother is always really helpful, looking out for me when I was unwell (one time in particular when my parents were on holiday), and being supportive for my mother at the same time.

Thinking of you, and hoping that Emma is improving.

Jo

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Hello,

I am so sorry that your daughter is in HDU. I hope she improves quickly.

I have had high stress levels also due to my sons illness and i so sympathise with how you are feeling.firstly it is normal to be stressed in this situation. Alot of times i have tried to be strong and think i should just get on with it, so don't be hard on yourself. I also finds it helps to speak about how i am feeling with my partner/family members etc,if any one offers any practical help take it and dont beat yourself up about things you would normally do.ie, cleaning etc, and as others have said rest when you can.

You will get through this awful time.

Take care

Vicky x

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We've managed to sort something out. Dropped youngest at school, went to the hospital to see Emma. She had another big attack, stayed with her until they stabilized her, and got moved to HDU. Went home to get her some more clothes as we have been told to expect an extended stay, we went back after getting her some more clothes. Emma is improving, her oxygen levels still a bit low, stayed with her until we had to pick her sister up from school, went to see her after we'd eaten then went to our youngest daughters parents evening. It hasn't gone too bad, hopefully tomorrow will be a bit more straight forward as the doctor says she should be back on the ward.

Thank you for the replies.

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hi mum

sorry bout emma, trying to keep her occupied with our texts lol

one thing i would say is keep yourself busy and try to take regular breaks off the unit,get plenty of rest and make sure u eating well. cos if your not well rested and strong enough etc then u will feel emotionally drained as well as physically.

take each day as it comes and keep focusing on the positives

she is in safe hands

x x x

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Thank you for the reply.

Emma's dad and I are taking it in turns to sit with her, while the other is off doing something else. It seems to be working as we're not with her all the time, getting stressed out about her being in HDU.

Even though I know she is in the best place, I am SO scared for her, I have never seen Emma this unwell. When I am with her, she seems like a completely new person. Emma is deathly white, has slightly blue lips, really quiet and doesn't seem like she's ""with"" us, which is scary as she usually has a lot of colour to her, her lips are a lovely shade of pink, she talks a lot, and is loud and fully alert.

I have a lot of questions which I would like to ask the nurses in HDU, but I don't want to ask, stress Emma, Emma's dad, or myself out, as stress *can* trigger attacks for Emma.

There isn't a lot to update on in regards to her condition, she had a ""small"" attack this morning, which was brought under control by 4 nebulisers, her oxygen levels are around 92% again, blood pressure is a bit low (she says salbultamol makes it lower - I may have spelt the medication name wrong, sorry.)

Thanks again,

Gill, AKA, Emma's Mum.

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HI Gill

I've spent quite a lot of time in hospital when my Mum has been ill over the last few years, and I've found that usually the medical staff are more than happy to answer any questions you might have, no matter how silly they may seem.

Thinking of Emma and wishing her better.

xx