I really need somewhere to have a good moan and say how i feel, i dont expect anyone to reply just have allways found this a good place to let of steam so here goes!!
I have just been discharged again form hospital after one week admission, this is my 9th admission this year and seemed to be spending more time in than out. i am so fed up with the situation and think my local consultant is getting to that point as well, i know he has no answeres and has tried his best with little success, i totally understand this but feel like he is withdrawing his support a bit. i am under the brompton and waiting to go in for some tests but yet again these will be put of as my pred dose will be to high, they want it at about 10mg i am currrently on 40mg and was down to 17.5mg before last admission, it just seems like a constant battle which i am not sure i can be bothered with anymore!!
I saw my consultant this morning and whilst he was nice you could see the frustration in the way he was and i think i was so tired and fed up i didint tell him how i feel as i didnt want to burst into tears about it all, so as a result i am hope (which is good) but with no plan, no follow up just been told to do as i want with steroids and wait for the dose to be right to go to the brompton, i think emotionally and physicaly i feel exhausted by it all
so i guess the question is what now, i guess to carry on along that road of complete instabilitiy, i am due to go back to work on saturday and whilst i want to and i am determined not to give up work i think my collegues are so fed up with me going of sick at the drop of a hat and no one picks up my job i am just left with more to do when i go back.
i guess everyone feels like this when they have admission etc and i will proberly feel different tomorrow about it all, so thanks if you have read this i feel better just writing it down.