As the clock was about tic click over into the 5 week mark, she was successfully extubated and looked up at me for the first time, there are no words to describe that feeling as the tears rolled down my face, for sooooo long I have been in a dark scary place, a place where only I was honest to myself of my thoughts of loosing her, a place where I tried to hope, but struggled daily to re-ignite that candle of hope.
The extubation itself was not without its problems, but we got there in the end, which is all that matters....
She cannot really speak from the tube, and is extreemly groggy and at this point has no idea that 5 weeks have passed, I think I will let her get over the sedation before filling her in...
I JUST WANT TO SAY THOUGH A â€œHUGE THANKYOUâ€ TO EVERYONE, AND THANKYOU SEEMS SUCH A SMALL WORD RIGHT NOW, BUT WORDS CAN NEVER EXPRESS MY GRATITUDE TO EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU FOR SUPPORTING US THROUGH THIS BAD TIMEâ€¦
I wrote this as a lasting memory of what we have all been throughâ€¦.
At the time I didnâ€™t know how much I needed you
I didnâ€™t even know how much I cared
I was too tired and in too much pain
I was hurt and so utterly scared
You looked so small and innocent lying there
But still perfect in every way
Itâ€™s hard to remember you like that now
The memories I have are fading away
But I wish I could have been there with you
Just once for a second would of done
Just to know what it felt like
To of taken your burden from you and our son
I canâ€™t forgive myself for thinking I was loosing you
So I never expect you to do the same
I felt I let you down so badly at times
And the guilt inside me will always remain
But never a second has gone by
That you have not been in my mind
I love you more, than I loved you then
My darling wife so genuine, beautiful and kind
Every year on this day
I will want to be by your side
A place thatâ€™s safe and near to you
A place that from the world that I can hide
Iâ€™m opening my arms for you now
So come to me please Andrea, feel my arms so tight
I am your husband who feels so much for what you went through
Only now have we ended this fight ..
YOUR DARLING HUSBAND - ALEX & SON LEWIS XXX