Been refused to be sterilised

I have 3 amazing children all with there own medical issues of varing degrees and I have know had 3 miscarriages. Miscarriage number 3 was a surprise when I found out I wa pregnant as hubbie had the snip almost 3 years ago so a very determined little one managed tp get through. But I want to be sterilised. hubbie had the snip done as I was refused to be sterilised as at the time I was only 24 and just given birth. Well I kave asked again today if I can be sterilised and again they said no because I am only 27 and because I had the miscarriage only yesterday. I don't want more children and niether doe smy hubbie I feel 3 is enough for me and with all there medical issues on top of it as well I just haven't got the strenght to bring another child into the world and risk them also having medical issues even if it is only a repeat of the ones we already with. Do think they are right refusing to even think about sterilising me or am I just being a hormonal wreck and all I can see is in again years down the line find out I am pregnant again. We always seem to bet the odds, my daughter wa sonly a 10% chance of her being a girl because of a genetic issue I have, very hard to xplai nbut basicly I hd an bad gene and it is one of the genes that determines what type of pregnancy you have and mine is bad when it comes down to girls and then my youngest son was conceived while I was taking the mini-pill and I didn't fin dout until I was 9 weeks pregnant I was pregnant with him which has lead to him having neurological issues due to th epill affecting the way his brain developed dueing those early weeks before I came off the pill and know this pregnancy that has ended at 6 weeks, less than 1% chance of getting pregnant and what happens we fall into that less than 1%. I in the way the doctors are looking at it as well what happens if your 15 year relationship goes bad and you get divorced and meet another bloke and decide you want to have children with him. I completely understand this but hay I have been with my hubbie know for 15 years and we are still as where back in the very early days of our relationship. We even get people when they say ""arhh newly wed bliss isn't it sweet"" and me and hubbie both laugh and say ""We came out of that label almost 8 years ago."" I already nkow that if we did even split up I wouldn't want more children still even if I did meet another bloke as the way I look at it is if years, mainy years down the line we do decide we want more children we can go down the route of fostering or even adoption. Our world is open to new adventures and challenges and I don't want that adventure to end up with yet another complicated pregnancy and even a pregnancy that ends in miscarriage. We can't go private as we can't afford it so that option is out the window I just can't see any other options as doctors have even refused to allow me to go back on the pill or use some other form of birth control just because hubbie has had the snip

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  • Asthma family,

    Sorry for your loss yesterday.

    I realy would push the doc to get you and your hubby to find the best way for you

    to not have more children,snip again or you unless medical reason.

    When we went together for me to be seen about steralizeation my doc said yes

    straight away no problem.

    I have 2 sons and was about 29/30.

    my hubby spoke up he would have it done and shoked me but glad he did it not me.

    Hope you go on ok,just push for it together till some one listens .

    love Glynis xxx

  • Thank you Glynis I will have a talk with hubbie later once the kids are in bed about use going together to see the doctor. He seems not his normalself today he has taken the kids out fo rthe day and left me at home to rest. Me rest ha I have cleaned the whole house and been busy on line as well. He has just rang and told me they are stuck in traffic at the moment so is going to by pass a take-away as an extra treat for the kids, which I have just talked him out of as I have the kids favourite meal prepared and ready to cook once they are closer to home. Cheese burger with salad, onion rings and carrots followed by home-made dairy-free sticky toffee cheese-cake with strawberries. He understands why they are so relucktant to do me as well as him but I feel it's not good enough anymore. He hsa to do some samples again to check his levels just to make sure that the procedure hasn't started reversing as he was warned thsi could happen because of his age fo having it done his body is still a super healing machine but they where happy to do him even though he was only 28 at the time. Wierd how it seems to be one rule for men and another for women

  • there may be a very good reason why you've been refused the sterilisation procedure just yet. Depending on exactly what they do, and there is several way but the reduction in the hormone levels would mean you'd need HRT and be at increased risk of osteoarthritis. If it's simply tying off the fallopian tubes and leaving everything intact then as far as I'm aware you're at no greater risk.

    Failing this long term contraceptive implants, IUD's etc may be worth considering.

  • Hi hope you get some answers soon. If you get offered the hormone injection, please be careful, you have had very similar experiences to me.You may react completely differently but my hormones have been shot since having 3 lots of hormone injections (12weeks apart) after my son was born 10 years ago. I wish I'd never had them.I got so anemic, ill and had to stop breastfeeding my Son at 9 months knowing he had brittle asthma.It was hell.Don't be afraid to tell the doc how you feel, it's your body and like you after miscarrying 3 babies I wouldn't ever want to go through it again, I can't carry girls, which doesn't bother me but having to go through the miscarriages does.

    Take care

    Kate x

  • They either tire or snip the fallopen tubes here and it would mean a week in hospital, 2 days pre-op and then 5 days post op because fo the asthma but I can live with that. I tried the injectiosn before and they have me horrid 3 day head-aches with-in a hour of having them so wont be going down that route again. Me and hubbie had a long, very long talk last night and we have deiced that maybe getting sterilised is not the option as when we talked about in the future 10 years in the future wold we like to have more children then. Ryan would be 18, and the other 2 would be 15 and about to turn 13 we decided tht maybe yes we would like another baby but only if my health is btter than it is right know so sterilisation would mean we couldn't try for another baby. But then on the other hand am I emotional and mental healthy enough to run the risk of getting pregnant again and having yet another miscarriage maybe not. But the IUD idea is a good one and will have to a look into them. I have a freidn who had an IUD for almost 10 years before she got pregnant again but that only happened because her IUD expired and she didn't get it replaced quick enough. Their are loads of options out there but I just need to find the right option for me I know which one I would prefer right know but I have to also think about the future which is something that hubbie has made me think about. He said to think about the future as in 10 years time when we will have 2 teenagers and 1 adult. That scares me more than the thought of risking getting pregnant again as I know what me and my hubbie was like as teenagers and if that is anything ot go my kids are going ot be a ngihtmare as teenagers

  • I'm sorry for loss. I too have had 3 miscarriages and have 3 children, I had hideous pregnancies too. I can't be sterilised as they won't risk the GA with my asthma so my husband had the snip in December. We're still waiting for the all clear from the tests.

    I don't know why they refused you for the sterilisation but I can understand your fear of getting pregnant again. Is it possible that because it was so close to your MC? Although they referred my Hubby two days after mine last October. Do they have a family planning clinic anywhere near you? Maybe they would be able to help you fully explore all the contraception options.

    Take care x

  • We went back to the doctors again today with a clear head and the doctor explained why they refused me. It is the GA. They are concerned that because my asthma is worse than it was when I had my youngest son my GA C.section that I could react badly. Very understandable I can accept that. Although they have said that once I have had controlled asthma for over a year again then they would re-review the decission if I want to be concidered again. Got to go back again in 5 weeks for my 6 week check and then we can decided what form of contreption to go down if any. Hubbie is more thinking about rubbers as doctors, hubbie and myself are concerned about the affects that contreption could have on me.I have terrible issues with my weight. I hate gaining weight so any form of contrecption with hormones in them are out the querstion. I have onkly just got my body to where I am happy w2ith it and don't want to go back to where I was this time last year. I don't have eating disorders just have issues with my weight because of issues I had as a child. (Fully recovered eating disorder patient)

  • Gosh this makes me angry! 40 years ago, age 20 with 2 children, I was sterilised using plastic clips. I was a gynaecoly patient of the consultant that invented these clips around 1976 and he agreed to do the steralization.

    Unfortunately 3 months later I was 2 months pregnant. The steralization was re-done using traditional methods. All on NHS.

    I then had a hysterectomy in 1978

    To conclude, I would say if that if you really want steralization don't give up. However if your circumstances change, it's a decision you made and you'll just have to suck it up. Sounds like you have already gone through those questions though. So keep banging on doors and changing consultants until you find a doctor who'll help. Besides if you have a child you don't want there's a possibility that you might resent that child.

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