Asthma UK community forum

For Mums or anyone else who might like to read!!!

Would you apply??



Mother, Mum, Mama, Mummy, Momma, Ma


Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent

work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess

excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to

work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and

frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required,

including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and

endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not

reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.


The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at

least temporarily, until someone needs £5. Must be willing to bite

tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a

pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds

flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not

someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating

technical Challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously

sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls,

maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework

projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings

for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be

indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle

assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic

toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best

but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete

accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities

also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the



Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same

position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and

updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately

surpass you


None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered

on a continually exhausting basis.


Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and

bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the

assumption that college will help them become financially

Independent. When you die, you give them whatever is

left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you

actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.


While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no

tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are

offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal

growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.

Forward this on to all the Mums you know, in appreciation

for everything they do on a daily basis, and let them know they are appreciated.

P.S This is why you may sometimes hear her say that she

is tired or exhausted or even both together, & you have the nerve to

ask why!!

6 Replies

-Sounds like a piece of cake !!!!!

-I am just kidding of course!

-beneath our male cloddish ""indifference"" we do appreciate the efforts and professionalism of the ""workforce""!!


The only job thats for life, not recognised and not paid!!!

but rewarded as ones in a million!!



I think I'll show it to my mum on Sunday along with her mother's day card! I thought it was very cute!



i may give this to my dads GF as they are getting married in August so her job will be ME!!!!!!!!! if its OK with you speedy?



Read this to my assembled crew at which point eldest pipes up that is utter rubbish you have never had to take us to sports tournaments in far off cities and Daughter said can't be where you work cos it is much more chaotic here!

Jeers kids and thanks for all the hugs :)



Will definitely pass this on to friends galore. Thanks.


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