After pm from mandi realised am not alone in mushed up pred thoughts, have you evey said something but it come out completely different? feel free to tell all as we need a laugh.

Me, had my clothes hung on cubicle door for when discharged, ment to say thats my eviction outfit like on big brother but i actually said 'thats my evacuation outfit!!'

Mandi, wanted to say there was a daddy longlegs but said it was a dandilion and burdoch.

All statements greatfully welcomed but nebs ready

Love Andrea xxx

20 Replies

  • i went in superdrug to get some baby shampoo and couldnt find it,

    so i asked a lady that worked there if she could tell me where the baked beans where,

    ive never felt so stupid in my whole entire life!! i havent been back in since.

    what i cant under stand is how i got from baby shampoo too baked bean's,i dont even like bean's that much.

    love mel

  • i was going to ask some one in superdrug where the baby shampoo was and asked where the baked beans where insted (what an idiot)

    love mel

  • He he mel


  • My friends daughter was on a train talking about a cooking show, she was telling how they prepared octopus. ""They cut all the testicals up into little pieces and then cooked the testicals! needless to say a few men who were close started to cross their legs!

  • Fantastic.

    Reminds me of a friend who infomed us that she was going to ""wear her short-sleeved trousers today""!

    This is the same friend who, whilst leading a Kick Asthma Holiday this summer, looked down at the list of children and asked, ""So, which of these is the one with asthma?""


  • When in the car with my Dad He was cursing about people not indicating and Chloe piped up ""Thats naughty they must incubate""!

    We now all seem to say it!

  • The other 1 we joke about in our family is my Grandma was talking to Mum and saying she had to go to the GP as she needed to get her ""collateral "" checked, it took mum a few minutes to twig that she meant cholesterol!!

  • Grans are just the best at these me and mum say everytime my nan says something we should write them down and make a book she says so many!! like mum was such a good swimmer she should have gone in for that syncopated swimmming!! bless em

  • when we went swimming last week all the kids where messing around after they came out ,

    so i shouted hurry up and get wet insted of saying dry,

    you can imagine what 50+ 9 and 10 year old's said and how much they laughed

  • This is an e-mail I recently got!!!

    * DIANA (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: ""How

    much do I cost?""

    * MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging

    and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked

    his dad: ""Why is he whispering in her mouth?""

    * JACK (age 3) was watching his mom breast-feeding his new baby

    sister after a while he asked: ""Mum why have you got two? Is one for hot

    and one for cold milk?""

    * CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his

    Mom asked what was troubling him, he re plied, ""I don't know what'll

    happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit


    * TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly,

    rather wrinkled woman her mum knew. Tammy looked at her for awhile and

    then asked, ""Why doesn't your skin fit your face?

    * A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the

    little girl across the street. The father, being modern and

    well-schooled in handling children, hid his smile behind his hand.

    ""That's a serious step,"" he said. ""Have you thought it out


    ""Yes,"" his young son answered. ""We can spend one week in my

    room and the next in hers. It's right across the street, so I can run

    home if I get scared of the dark.""

    ""How about transportation?"" the father asked.

    ""I have my wagon, and we both have our tricycles,"" the

    little boy answered. The boy had an answer to every question the father


    Finally, in exasperation, his dad asked, "" What about

    babies? When you're married, you're liable to have babies, you know.""

    ""We've thought about that, too,"" the little boy replied.

    ""We're not going to have babies. Every time she lays an egg, I'm going

    to step on it!""

    * MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny

    replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, ""If

    you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say 5

    to 6.

  • I said to a colleague at work today I really like your cardigan - caused a lot of confusion as she wasn't actually wearing a cardigan and I actually meant necklace! I definately blame the pred or at least the elephants and not that I'm just losing the plot!

  • This is a bushism (George W)

    When he was told that a Brazilian had been shot dead George W Bush replied, ""Oh Gosh, that's awful, really terrible"", then he turned to his adviser and asked, ""How many is a Bazilian?"" !!!!

  • Heres my classic.

    I amswered the door at work and this chap says ""I have to come to see Micheal Wave"" I in reply said ""I am sorry but I think you've got the wrong place I think you need the day hospital next door"".

    The guy replys ""no, no it's definately here according to the slip I have here"" I replied ""well I am really sorry but we have no one hear by the name of Micheal Wave""

    ""No, no"" came the chaps reply ""I have come to fix your microwave""

    Exit one red faced staff nurse!!

  • My 4 year old nephew was recently given a ventolin and spacer when he had a chest infection that wouldn't clear up and whenever it was time to use it would tell his mum (my sister) that it was time to use his impaler


  • When I was doing A level in biology (many years ago), one of the questions was on whether taxonomy (ways of classifying species) was important. One of my friends did her essay on taxidermy (stuffing animals). she still got into medical school.

  • Had my mum in fits of laughter this am cuiase am in process of buying a house and said to my mum that collegue from work had recommended a solicitor to do all the soliciting for me. ( I knew what I meant)

  • Biology blooper!

    I spelt Organism wrong once in an A level Biology essay......!!!

    Nuff said!

  • A friend had to type out the words the ""Take me Home Country Roads"" she spelt West Virginia wrong tho. As it was for a pantomine you can imagine we had great fun singing the words as they were on the page, which the director was not best chuffed about.


  • Went to B&Q and asked if they had any pink durex paint (the non smelly kind). Whoops! Think I meant dulux! Very embarrasing & made a quick departure from the shop with no paint!

  • In Australia Durex is a brand of sticky tape! LOL!

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