In 2 days 2 of my wonderful children pick up AS and A2 results I am nervous wreak. My eldest will be 20 in October, which brings me to this post why do they have to grow up? I am gradually fading out of their world from being the most important person in it when they were born to now, when a text to say they are not coming home tonight is about as close as I get being part of their world. We are still close but I miss them so much as they go off and do their own thing, Mike was away camping this weekend and every day I thought of him I missed him coming up and taking the micky out of me and making me laugh until my ache. Maddie is now splitting herself half and half with home and Bristol but where-ever Maddie is Hamid is too, getting Maddie/Mummy time is almost impossible, I am so proud of her and Hamid is just wonderful but we used to do such mad things together and have such fun. Nicko can't decide what he wants to do next and I can't seem to reach him, I can't fathom what is going through his mind and I must not live his life for him he has to sort it out for himself! I have spent the last 20 year devoted to doing my poor best to be the best mum I could be to them and I know I need to sit back and let them get on with it but it does not make it any easier. Even Josh starts GSCE's next year.
I am so proud that despite me they are fabulous young people I just feel a bit redundant today.
Sorry for the rambling slush, feel free to put me on your ignore list as totally barking!