A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and
sat down next to a beautiful(you guessed it) blonde.
The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.
Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, ""It's golf balls"".
Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him for a very long time,
deeply thinking about what he had said.
After several minutes, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer,
asked, ""Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?""
A tale from Tony's time as PM. . . .
Tony Blair is visiting an Edinburgh hospital. He enters a ward full of
patients with no obvious sign of injury or illness, and greets one.
The patient replies:
""Fair fa your honest sonsie face,
Great chieftain o the puddin race,
Aboon them a ye take yer place,
Painch, tripe or thairm, As langs my airm.""
Blair is confused, so he just grins and moves on to the next patient.
The patient responds:
""Some hae meat an canna eat,
And some wad eat that want it,
But we hae meat an we can eat,
So let the Lord be thankit.""
Even more confused, and his grin now somewhat frozen, Blair moves on to
the next patient, who immediately begins to chant:
""Wee sleekit, cowerin, timorous beasty,
O the panic in thy breasty,
Thou needna start awa sae hastie,
Wi bickering brattle""
Now seriously troubled, Blair turns to the accompanying doctor and asks,
""Is this a psychiatric ward?""
""No,"" replies the doctor, ""This is the serious Burns unit.