little bit of help needed please.

Hi

well to start I am Rob a single farther to 15 year old Olie who have very server asthma as well as autism and epilepsy. Who has I mean.

I know there has been posts a bit like this already but they are a tad different.

Well to start Olie is starting a new secondary school on Monday I have shown Olie photos of the school everyday since I have taken Olie out his old school and put him in this one. I had many problems with the last school down to them ringing me to ask me to come and get Olie because.they couldn't calm him down and told me he was being very disruptive, so I got there to find Olie sat on the floor in the coner of a room rocking eyes shut hands over ears shouting for me pale faced and blue round his mouth ( they wouldn't give him meds) well it turned out Olie asked to go to the toliet and told he couldnt and ended up wetting him self (still in wet trousers and pants when I got there) so he had gotten in a tiz about it. I was.sad as Olie had made lots of friends witch can be hard for him to do, abyways that brings me back to now Olie is getting very worked up about school despite having made a photo board about the school and staff but this is having a really bad effect on his asthma and I just don't know what else I can do to stop him worrying. The new school have been so greate so fare and have said for his first day I can stay with him to see how he settles and then after that I can ring the same time every lunch to talk to Olie and.see how he is getting on. Olie has a coded word for when things are not okay and he is just useing it all the time at the moment am so worried.my self.

sorry to go on Rob.

9 Replies

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  • Sorry for my spelling mistskes I type to fast.

    Rob

  • Firstly...can I just say...Ollie is lucky to have someone so caring to fight for him! It must be exhaust ing but fair play to you! I'm not sure i can suggest much more than you are doing just keep up the communication wirh the new school it sounds fantastic! Im sure people on here can suggest great things but i just wish there were more parents who cared so much!

  • hi well im probably not much help to you as i am no where near being a parent. i am 15 myself just going into year 11. i start year 11 tomorrow to be honest but i do work with disabled children and have been for about 3 years. i ended up working in a disabled school for my work experience through parents recomendation. i have asthma and i know flare ups are hard and i am not disabled so i hope things go well for you

    P.S. ollie is lucky to have someone like you caring for him

    Jess x

  • I dont think there is much more you can do for ollie in regards for starting his new school at this moment. You should have faith in what you are doing as it sounds as if you are doing everythig you can. I would be very pleased and proud to have a parebt like you and im sure ollie is aswell

    lindsay

  • hi,

    Sounds like your new school is really nice and the best thing you can do is just

    keep close contact with his school and teacher.and have a good plan

    what they should do and when to contact you,and give olie lots of reasurance like you

    are doing.

    Hope all goes well ,love Glynis xxx

  • Hi Rob,

    I worked in a residential school for children with ASD for just over 9 years and it sounds as though his new school are much more experienced in de-escalating behaviours and teaching strategies to your son to communicate when he is not coping. My advice for you would be to try and relax and trust the school. When you speak to your son at lunchtimes, if you feel he is not his normal self you can always ring the staff afterwards and check. Parents are the experts with their children and staff at the school can learn so much from you.

    I now work in a residential college with young adults with Asperger's Syndrome/ASD and I am always in awe of how parents cope 24/7. You do sound like a great dad who is in tune with your son! I hope everything continues to go well this term for you and your son.

    Jac

  • Hi Rob Wow you deal with so much and on your own too. Well done and you are a fantastic parent. I think the same as everyone else is saying you are doing all you can. Trust the school, communicate with them daily, contact your son at lunchtime and (I know repeating other posts) when you know Ollie isn't coping ring the school and speak to his teacher straight after speaking to Ollie. This new school sound awesome and just what Ollie needs.

    Have a care plan ready for the school and full details out lining his medical conditions, what his triggers are, signs and symptoms of each condition and how they can help him and when to contact you. This is what I have done with son I now the different there is my son is in primary school and your son is in secondary school but they an put these details up in the staff room so all staff see it and if they care like teachers should they will read it over and over again until they have memorized.

    Good luck and hope Ollie settles in to the new school and makes new friends quickly and this school is as much better than the old school as it sounds. I am on the hunt for a secondary school for Ryan as I only have 1 year to decided before getting his secondary school admission form

  • thank you

    Thank you so.much for all your comments will get you all messaged in due course thank you again.

    Rob x

  • Hi Rob, I know a little bit how you feel, my Son Matty has mild autism.ADHD severe and difficult asthma and scoliosis.Matty doesn't like change so even the school holidays are a challenge!Matty's moods effect his asthma BIG time, so when he's worried or nervous it kicks off.We have a code word too ""time out"" it means Matty can't cope with the situation and needs to get out ASAP.It must be very difficult being on your own dealing with this, we struggle and there are 2 off us.It has been hell on earth but we paid privately to get Matty help, getting the right side of the brain to communicate with the left.We had to do this before he was 9, something complicated but it has helped.Matty used to run away and try to throw himself out the window, we don't have that any more THANK GOD!Does Ollie know you can go with him?and do they have a school nurse? as if Ollie gets to know her there will be somewhere for him to go when things go wrong, my eldest has a card he shows the teacher and doesnt have to explain anything, just go straight to the nurse.If not maybe another member of staff. It just get Ollie away from the situation so he can feel safe and away from prying eyes!If he was allowed to have a picture or something special of his kept in the room, this would also help calm him. We have lots of autism in the family and I have some traits so understand the nightmare of the condition, I didn't fit in at school until I was 13, then people thought I was cool because I did things my way without worrying about what anyone else thought!Sorry for long post, let us know how it goes, we will have to go through this next year but Matty has an older brother so it helps.

    Kate

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