16 year old asthma depressed

Hi I am new to all this but reading some of

the post I see you seem to really hep each other

well the thing is my son Tom is 16 and has been brittel/ chronic

all his life so he grown up knowing is asthma is very

unstable he could just be sat at home and down he

gose its very destressing but my partner finds it more. So

but lately atom has become very depressed he is due

to start sixform in sept but he is so worried

that people will treat him differently he dosent like

going out with the few friends he has incase he gose Down.

he cries most nights when he thinks we can't hear him

I just want to hug him and tell him it will be alright

but I know in my heart he will miss a lot of sixform and

just be as ill as he always is.. what I want to know is

there anything I could do to ease his worries?

I mean me and chris do talk to him but he just says he

is fine all the time oir hearts are breaking knowing

what ever we do or say won't be enough... although

he sobbed his heart out to me today saying how sick

and tired he is being in pain being ill ect that made

me cry and all I could do was cuddle him makes

me feel like am a bad mother.

Thank you Chloe.

6 Replies

oldestnewest
  • It is difficult especially if he is going to a new school where he will have less friends already, however mos people will be sympathetic and I am 16 and have mates my age with more severe asthma than mine who have been off over half the year and everyone is really pleased when they get back! I personally find having a few asthmatic friends really good for support, just to be able to have a bit of a whinge is great (your son might find this website usefull, especially if he doesn't know many asthmatics). It may help him to chat to someone about sorting out how he is gonna try to improve his asthma, even just a general idea of how things might start getting better will give him an aim. Other than that, help him to make sure he is doing something everyday, especially I. The holidays if your feeling I'll it's easy to just do nothing, but it doesn't help in he long term. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions, I hope your son feels better soon

  • Hi Chloe

    I'm sorry to hear about how your son is feeling.

    Firstly he isn't alone, I remember when I was the same age I had similar feelings about asthma and sixth form, I didn't want people drawing attention to it and basically wanted to be treated like everyone else.

    Brittle asthma is not an easy condition to live with and many people who have it old and young do struggle with it psychologically. Last year I found it particularly difficult as I felt my life was basically on hold as I was in hospital so much with it and then sort of had a small break down about it and my spoke to my GP and resp nurse about it who were quite reassuring.

    I am not sure what to suggest, my sixth form experience first time wasn't great but from what I learnt from it, I feel maybe the following may help:

    - does he see a psychologist or counsellor? it might be easier to talk about it with someone not attached to the situation.

    - is the sixth form fully aware of the nature of his asthma? if not, please do this and hopefully if they're helpful you can ask for certain things to be put in place such as work being sent by email to do in hospital, extended deadlines, neb breaks (assuming he has a nebuliser) also a protocol of what to do he has an attack there, also maybe warning signs etc.

    -the friends situation is difficult, i did find myself being quite separated but don't get me wrong they were supportive just didn't want to talk to them about it as I felt they didn't understand, it might be more difficult for boys also to talk to friends about how they're feeling etc. A suggestion could be him actually telling them what happens and what to do when it happens, that might be a little more reassurring knowing they'd get help and know what is happening. I realise this doesn't answer this part of your post, I don't really have any answers I wish I did.

    *hugs*

    simi x

  • Hi chloeaG,

    my heart goes out to you and your son, if he's depressed then i would try and speak to a sympathetic gp who will treat him if he feels he needs medication for depression. As this side needs to be addressed too, or he could ring samaritans(just for anonomous factor) and he can say anything he might not want to say to a gp. Could you speak to the school nurse and ensure they are aware of your sons condition and treatment etc before hand, which might ease some of the worry. Asthma helpline may also be a good move as they can help in lots of ways.Also look at the asthma leaflets and give them to your son as reading about others coping with the same condition may, help feel he's not alone. But it's always very difficult when kids go to a new school, but im sure he'll find good friends who will help and support him during this time. Do try and encourage to go out with current friends if poss as he needs to ""control his asthma not let it control him"". I don't think you are failing as a mum at all, just be their for him when he wants to talk and if all wants is a hug then go for it . It's just a hug but it says alot its comforting and says i love you, i understand, i'm here for you and everything your son needs at this time. Just had a thought, try to get your son to look at this site as talking to others with brittle asthma it may also help him,give him support and of course friendship which may help ease his mind a bit.

    Take care and wish you both all the best during this difficult time, please let us know how you get on.

    sj

  • thank you

    Thank you so much for all your conments

    we have made the sixform full aware of Tom's probem they have

    taken it all on bored and said that aslong as he informs the

    tutor he can take breaks if its getting to much for

    him they have been really lovely about it.

    he also has EP so has fits but the asthma is the main Worry.

    he is very lucky with his friends although he only has a few

    they come round to see him nearly everyday to see him

    and try and get him out but they do understand....

    He isn't currently talking to any one but we did think about that

    Chris Tom's dad has been spending a lot of farther son

    time with him in the hope he will open up but he won't...

    we have spoken to the gp and he is a concerned about tge

    Added stress but can't force Tom to talk... but thank you

    its nice to know there are other peope out there.

  • Perhaps pointing out to him all the successful sports people and celebs who have asthma... and who have gone on to have happy, successful lives might support and encourage him.

    People like David Beckham have asthma and yet has gone on to the height of his profession.

    Please also look into the reports of Vitamin D enabling people to better respond to their medication and hence being able to lower the medication they need to take.

    Sorry for not being more helpful.

    Look after yourself.

  • Hi Chloe, my Son who is nearly 13 has depression,he has trouble with his stomach and regular crohns tests,my Hubby has crohns.My youngest has brittle asthma and Ben has had to watch his brother at deaths door too many times. it breaks my heart when he's going through a bad patch.Ben does the same just cries and stops doing all the things he loves.Ben opens up eventually but we only get info in bits, week by week we eventually get the picture, it's very frustrating. I just let him know how much we love him and he can tell me any thing I wont judge.

    I know this sounds mad but we got Ben guitar lessons and now when he's low he has a jam on his guitar and gets lost in the music, I do this myself for depression, I only learnt about 4 years ago and it's just great, all my worries disappear (while I'm playing!).We also went to the health food shop for some advice and Ben had extract of oats which really helped,we all laughed about wild oats!!

    It's difficult for them with all the hormones too, Ben started puberty at 10 which really didn't help!

    Take care

    Kate

You may also like...