Late diagnosis 4 months ago

Dear All, I have recently been diagnosed with Asperger's and was wondering if anyone could suggest ways to work out, accept and manage what is down to Asperger's and what is not. I am 37 and female so it took a long time to realise the reason why things in my life didn't seem to add up. I knew there was something, had done since I was very young, and even through I studied psychology at uni it still took till I was 35 to realise what was potentially the issue.

Anyway, I want a way forward and I would love to know what worked for others with a late diagnosis. Were there any books that helped, forums that helped or resources that you were able to access that helped you understand better how Aspergers affects you.

Any help much appreciated.

Thank you :-)

8 Replies

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  • I studied autism at the university of Birmingham and got my BPhil back in 2010. I find being on autscape, aspie village and a few facebook groups to be beneficial to my aspergers.

    Is there any post diagnostic support and/or a local NAS branch in your area.

    Another thing ive found helpful is meeting Asperger folk in real life and running a support group in the south west area of the UK. They're called 'social groups' so if you look them up on the NAS website see whats in your area.

    Feel free to private message me and I will see what I can find to help you.

    "Aspergers and girls" or "aspergirls" are both books written for and by a female perspective. Also "Asperger united" is a quarterly free newspaper for anyone with a diagnosis in the UK.

  • Thank you for your reply and I will certainly look into all the resources you have suggested.

    I have looked at the social groups on the NAS website and know that my closest one is 21 miles away (I am also in the south west) and the diagnosis center I attended is 45 miles away.

    I will look at the websites I haven't heard of either of those.

  • I was recently diagnosed, as well. I have been doing extensive research and reading. Females "present" differently than males (my doctor told me) and I'm finding that even the medical issues I've dealt with throughout my life are part of the syndrome.

    I was actually about to create a blog entry this evening because, for the years of counseling I've received, I remember about 5 years ago, my counselor kept repeating to me, "I honestly don't think your issues are mental health, I'm pretty convinced they are medical."

    Since my recent diagnosis, I'm finding that what has always been diagnosed as depression, was, in fact, anxiety. I was encouraged to read Temple Grandin's book, "The Way I See It." It's a fascinating book.

    I have also read several personal accounts (on the Internet) written by females, and have been amazed that everyone of "us" seem to have experienced very similar issues throughout our lives.

    I, like you, was interested to know how many of my issues were directly or indirectly related to my diagnosis, so I started Google searching: Asperger's and _______ (insert whatever you are interested it)

    Every time I type something in, I find it's part of the Asperger's diagnosis. Also, you may have anxiety, OCD or other issues, all of which can be found within the realm and, it's very enlightening.

    Welcome to my world!

  • have you had grief like symptoms?

  • Grief, I don't think so. I've been more relieved than anything. What do you 'think' you are grieving? I have a hard time with that emotion, so I sometimes 'hide' it within something else.

    If you would like to respond/correspond privately, I can give you my e-mail address.

  • Hi there, just reading your post & I have worked supporting people with Autism, Asperges etc. For many years although I don't work now due to Ill health.

    I just wanted to tell you that my Grandson was recently diagnosed as having Torettes at 7 yrs old and because of that we are now very sure my daughter has it and has for many years. She was always very difficult in school and done some crazy things and it was always put down to her being a naughty, unruly, disruptive child.

    She really struggles with retaining information and speaking sometimes and has always been very loud & very emotional and finds it very hard in expressing herself.

    Now 34 yrs on we can now understand why !.

    So many things now make sense to her and its a relief for her because she can now look at her life in a completely different way.

    She went back to school 4 yrs ago & got her Maths and Engish even though she also found out at the same time she is dyslexic and then went to college and got Diploma in Beauty Therapy & Reflexology and now runs her own business.

    She has OCD & ADHD also but she has taken it all in her stride bless her and if anything it has spurned her on to make something of her life.

    So don't fret on it to much because although it comes as a bit of a shock, you will learn to accept that it is you and always been you.

    I see you already have lots of good advice as to what you can do now and I definitely agree that you should try to make contact with others who have Aspergers because this will help you to understand it and come to terms with it.

    At the moment my daughter is going through the processes of involving school, doctors, psychologist with her other son who we are fairly sure has Asperges.

    So life is hard and throws all these things in to keep us busy, all I want is a peaceful life lol

    To top it all off we have just recently discovered our little dog has epilepsy so he's now on daily meds. It doesn't rain it pours lol

    There is also lots of information online and some very good books.

    You should read The Autistic Brain by Temple Grandin.

    I do hope you get to grips with it all, I'm sure you will and keep us posted.

    Peace, luv n light

    Jan x

  • Hi I wasn't diagnosed with Aspergers until about 6yrs ago, I'm 62yrs next month. I can't tell you much but suggest you join Nation Autistic Society,theyre a. great organization, I think a visit to their website may be of help to you.Just enter NAS and you'll find them

    What I do know is that there are a lot of groups etc. for youngsters but I can't find anything that helps people whom are older. Whether late to be diagnosed or already on the spectrum my experience is very negative. I don't wish to take away any of the help/support that youngsters get but they will grow up and will find themselves in our,or at least my position. Turning 18 doesn't mean one will miraculously become Neurotypical. If Anyone feels as I do &maybe has had the same experience,maybe somehow something positive can come out of it. Please let me know.

  • Thank you all for your comments - I am 9 months in and although I am beginning to settle back down again I am still surprised when I discover that the reason I feel so 'something' is an Asperger thing. relief and surprise and frustration because there is not easy answer to anything any more.

    However people around me are now aware and they are less judgemental so that is all good :-)

    I think there should be more support for adult diagnosee's (is that a word?) but where do we start?

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