Advice needed

This is about my son, He's 4 years old now, but since an early age he seems to be very different to other children. As a baby he constantly cried, never seemed to be happy at all. I couldnt take him the shops as he would scream the place down but now as he is older he just runs away an hides and won't answer when I call his name. He seems to also get obsessive over different things, might be a song or a toy, or phrases he has heard, which he uses in a very dramatic way using strange facial expressions. He also seems to ask a lot of people what house number they live at and remembers them for a long time. He also seems to do a repetitive run from one place in the house whilst humming and he could do this for hours on end if he hasn't been told to stop as it can be dangerous sometimes. He had an obsession with Thomas the tank a few years ago, which he distinguished each character through facial expressions, not actual colour or number. He doesn't seem to follow even the simplest instructions no matter how much I say it to him. He has melt downs a lot, although these are less frequent now he is older. That's just a few things really, I'd be here all day writing them all. I'm just not sure what to do? if I'm honest, he's a lot to handle and I sometimes struggle to deal with his emotional meltdowns an behaviour.

7 Replies

  • Get him to a autism specialist not saying it is but my son who's 10 now got obsessed over the littlest things he acted different not very emotional even as a baby he didn't seem to "bond" with me even as I fed him or sing to him, he never has liked emotions and would try and get away from people he knew (like a hug from Grandmom) he used HUGE words for a 2-3 yr old like episodes and when asked knew the meaning of the word so I think it may be best to have your child looked at to see if he is on the spectrum (the Autism spectrum we whose children are autistic call it just the spectrum) Hope this helps and good luck!!!

  • Thanks for your reply. I'm currently waiting for an appointment with my GP to have a chat. My son also uses words I would say are advanced for his age, he often teaches me things haha. He also uses phrases a lot from TV shows, cartoons etc. usually when throwing a tantrum, so in the middle of one he might sing really loudly the theme tune from horrid Henry which he has rather a big thing about these days. I've read abit of info on autism and Asperger's syndrome, but there's alot of things my son doesn't do, for instance, he lines things up but not to the point where I would say it was a lot, although he knows where he has put a toy, and if he wants that specific toy, he will empty the entire toy box to find it, and it might be the smallest of signs that he wants to stand next to a certain point on his train track. He's also a very loving boy, hugs me, tells me he loves me and that I'm beautiful so I wouldn't say there is any emotional issues. Although when he was younger I never seemed to have a great bond with him, simply because he seemed to constantly cry, as he's got older we have got closer but if I'm 100% honest, our relationship could be better.

  • AS someone who has a kid who has autism they are like snowflakes no two are alike, lol I hope that you find how to help him in this crazy world as most don't seem to understand kids these days and seem to actually take offence that you don't discipline your child the way they did ignore them and enjoy your child. He was made for you by God's design.

  • It's funny you should say that really, my partner says it's due to lack of discipline, why he bahaves in this way. There's also a lot of other things he does, i could be here all day writing them. I just feel abit nervous about seeing my doctor, don't want to seem like I'm over reacting if you get me? X

  • I know what you mean, you're worried about smothering and if you're reading too much into the behavior... but I think that's our mother's voice deep down saying let's get this looked at, even if it turns out to be something small isn't it better to know then worry or like me with my oldest son (who has bi-polar) find out too late that mental illness was the answer but no one was looking in the right direction...Good luck!!!

  • Children with autism or Asperger's usually have problems with their senses. They find ordinary sounds can be frightening, annoying or just "too much". They have trouble filtering out irrelevant things they can see and hear and some react to the textures of food and clothing as well. A normal household environment can be quite confusing and upsetting because there is too much going on. All the screaming, repetitive behaviour, running away and hiding and resistance to things is their way of protesting and controlling the amount they want to hear/see/feel. If your son won't follow instructions, show him what he is meant to do by going through the required actions/behaviours with him. If he is young enough/small enough you can take his hands and put them in the right place, and his legs and you can turn his head to look at the thing that is important, like an open drawer to get his T-shirt out. Try to keep a good routine with him and prepare him days ahead for big unusual things like going to the doctor. A big calendar with stuff like pictures of your supermarket, kindergarten, library, friends' and relative's houses can make anticipation less anxious for him. He will know what kindy looks like so show him the picture on his calendar and tell him that will happen tomorrow or whatever. The more concrete and visual you make things the better. Hopefully your GP can refer you to a specialist for assessment, but there are online tests that you can Google which are reputable and give you a good idea if he is slightly autistic or really seriously affected. Try this:

  • Hi

    Your post reminds me very much of my son who is now 22. Let me know how you get on with your GP, I'm sure I can give you tips and point you in the right direction. I had a hard time from birth until 6 and then it was easier.

    I never thought my son would lose the obsession with Thomas the Tank Engine, but he did, and went over to Grand Prix, he's like an encyclopaedia on the last 17 years of F1.

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