intrusive thoughts : please be kind... - Action on Postpar...

Action on Postpartum Psychosis

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intrusive thoughts

pinkladystar profile image
282 Replies

please be kind.

I have a 16 month old

I had crisis last week and couldn't cope luckily I had support waiting to pick me up when I fell

App have some amazing people working for them and I really appreciate the 2 that are supporting me.

I just wish these intrusive thoughts would disappear its so difficult when you have promised someone that you won't act on the thoughts,and then the thoughts just get more and more.

today I got rushed in hospital due to my heart.i just feel its one thing after another and I can't see no way forward. Do people have any suggestions

please don't be horrible

282 Replies
x_Amy profile image
x_AmyVolunteer

Hi pinkladystar,

I’m so sorry to hear you were in crisis last week. APP have a wonderfully supportive team who I am so glad you have reached out to :)

I also experience intrusive thoughts, which started when my son was born in 2014. I’m wondering if you have been offered any counselling or therapies? I found CBT very beneficial, and it helped me rationalise the thoughts I was having. It’s so important to remember that intrusive thoughts are only thoughts, the anxiety we experience comes from how much we care and worry about what we hold most dear. Here’s a link that you may find useful:

adaa.org/learn-from-us/from...

I can only imagine how overwhelming it was having to go into hospital today. I do hope you manage to get some rest.

Take care x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to x_Amy

they really do have amazing supportive people

I'm waiting for psychology as I had cbt and it didn't do anything.

I do try to focus that there only thoughts but it us so difficult.

yes it was very over whelming as I really didn't want to be there and it was really difficult as I thought to myself this is the way the intrusive thoughts is going to take me

please don't judge

x_Amy profile image
x_AmyVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

I totally understand and hope that you don’t have to wait too long for your appointment with a psychologist. You are doing all the right things with accessing support which is amazing :) is there anything that you enjoy doing that helps you to relax? I know that’s easier said than done with a 16 month old 😅 I find trying out new crafts a great distraction when the thoughts get overwhelming. I read a fantastic tip from another lady who tries to reframe intrusive thoughts with “I am having a thought that….[insert thought here]” which defines further that it’s a thought and nothing more. There is no judgement here, please do not worry. I hope you find something that works for you, and please keep talking as it really does help. x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to x_Amy

ive been waiting 8 months already for psychology.

the only time I feel safe is when I meet my peer support lady. Because I know she u understands what I am going through.

thank you a

x_Amy profile image
x_AmyVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

I totally understand and remember feeling the same way in the earlier days. One thing I can promise is this will pass. I have just seen Rachel’s lovely message including a link to the Samaritan’s - I found having them to talk to in the nights where my thoughts were racing helped me immensely x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to x_Amy

thank you for taking the time to message me i really appreciate the thought that went in to it

yes I have spoken to them on the text chat a few times

I just wish it would all dissappear now

x_Amy profile image
x_AmyVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

Good morning pinkladystar, have been thinking of you. I hope you managed to get some rest last night.

Amy x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to x_Amy

morning Amy

thank you for thinking of me

I didnt sleep all night

x_Amy profile image
x_AmyVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

I’m sorry to hear you haven’t had any sleep. You’ve had so much going on so I know how difficult it must be. I hope you manage to take it easy today.

You have some wonderful support in place, I’m just wondering if a chat with your GP about sleeplessness would also be helpful? I know you’re so exhausted at the moment, and they may be able to support you with this.

Take care x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to x_Amy

im having to continue going to work whilst going through this difficult time

Rachel_at_APP profile image
Rachel_at_APPPartner

Hello Pinkladystar,

Firstly let me send you a huge hug from one Mummy to another. I’m really sorry to hear you’re having such a hard time at the moment. I say “at the moment”, because what you’re feeling right now is temporary. Promise.

I’ve stood where you are lovely, so very poorly, with awful thoughts rushing through my ever so poorly and tired head. I got better. And you will too. You say you’ve been supported by two lovely people from APP. I’m SO glad that you’ve found them. I wonder if it’d help to reread some of their messages and words. It might just feel a like some comfort around you while you’re in hospital.

Do talk with the professionals around you in hospital too, they’ll want to help you too and make sure that they give you the right support not only for your heart but to help you with your thoughts too. I’m really sorry you’re poorly with your heart. But I’m really glad you’re accessing support in hospital.

Write anytime if it helps. Thinking of you lots. There’s a team of Mums here, a little squad who really do understand and are rooting for you. Sending hugs.

Rachel x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar

thank you rachel for sending me a hug

I hope it is temporary as it seems to be lasting for ages.

yes the 2 lovely app ladies are amazing

I have read the story of one of the ladies the other lady hasnt wrote on here.

I was reqlly worried to write on here as I had a bad experience

I'm out of hospital now but I am really struggling with the fact I had to go in and also that everything is just one thing after another

Rachel_at_APP profile image
Rachel_at_APPPartner in reply to pinkladystar

Just sorry it’s only a virtual hug. But you’re more than welcome.

I can’t imagine struggling with another health condition and recovering as you’re trying to cope with your thoughts. It’ll be ok. Is there anyone with you this evening who can help? I hope someone is close by or on the phone if you need them.

I wonder if you need to, if Samaritans would be helpful to talk to if you can’t sleep and need to talk tonight? samaritans.org/how-we-can-h...

I hope you can get some rest lovely. It’ll be ok. Keep talking to your friends and family. And I hope you can speak with either your GP or other medical professional if they’re still supporting you. They’ll want to help.

Rachel x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Rachel_at_APP

its ok I appreciate it even if it is virtual

I have numbers if I need to call its just so difficult

I have spoken to them a few times via there text chat as really struggle to talk to new people on the phone

I just wish I could sleep I am so exhausted with all the mental and physical illnesses

I have a mental health o.t/care coordinator who has been messaging/calling me everyday

I have the 2 lovely people from app who are helping me and chdcking in on me to make sure I am on the straight and narrow.

Pikorua profile image
PikoruaVolunteer

Hello pinkladystar,

I am thinking of you, too and give you a big virtual hug. I can resonate with your struggles.

This forum has been such great support when I felt so lost. I did not find out about this forum till 5 yrs. after PPP. I could not sleep, and my anxiety was immense.

This bunch of wonderful mums here on this forum all have been in the same footprints, meaning experiencing this traumatising illness. The exchange of experience is vital, because our lived experiences are often different from the offset of acute illness and throughout our time of recovery depending on various factors. You will be able to learn and access information on the APP site, with some great useful links.

You are safe here, it is none-judgmental & professional help is always at hand. You see, I did not know that my suffering was not only influenced externally, because of immense stressors throughout recovery, but I had undiagnosed bipolar. APP guided me to a professor, who eventually helped our family. Times will change for you, too and you have a good support network, too.

Take great care,

big hug x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Pikorua

hello pikorua

thank you for sending a virtual hug

I have only just come back on the forum. But the comments from everyone from last night and today have been very heartfelt

I keep on trying to focus that it will get better but its so hard its just one negative after another atm

EmiMum profile image
EmiMumVolunteer

Hi pinkladystar,

I am sorry to read about your anxiety, intrusive thoughts and rush to hospital because of your heart. Gosh, it is a lot! Take a little time to just compassionately acknowledge with kindness towards yourself that you have been through a really rough time recently, because it is really hard. No one is going to judge you here, as it has been said above, we all in our unique recovery journeys have dealt with intrusive thoughts and anxiety, and we know how crippling and overwhelming that can be.

I am really glad you are being supported by 2 amazing app peer support volunteers and that they bring you some solace in what is a very difficult time for you. The forum is also a great place to exchange experiences and draw onto each other's compassion when things are rough.

Are you currently under a mental health team? It may be a good idea to talk to them or your GP and raise the lack of sleep last night. Insomnia is one of my early warning signs that says I am going to need some more support, so I always keep an eye out for it.

Sending you many hugs, do write here as I have found it has helped me lots in the past while I was recovering from pp. Take good care and let us know how you are getting on.

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to EmiMum

emimum

the peer support workers are amazing they really are they give there time andeffort all the time .

I struggle ro open up because I dont want people to think what she moaning for there's people worse of than her

yes im under a mental health team just been moved over from perinatal services. I have a review on Friday

thank you for sending hugs it means alot to me

Ellie_at_APP profile image
Ellie_at_APPPartner

Hi pinkladystar

It's Ellie here, I work for APP too, as one of the National Peer Support Coordinators. I'm so glad members of our team have been so supportive for you.

I'm so sorry things are so tough for you, struggling with intrusive thoughts and anxiety, as well as your health issues. You are going through so much. I know it probably feels never ending at the moment, but you are doing so well to keep reaching out for support, from ourselves and your mental health team. Will you have a psychiatrist appointment at all soon, to maybe look at your medication, and what may help you?

I hope you can get some sleep too, which I know personally is so crucial for being able to cope. Are you able to get some sleeping tablets if you need to, just to help when things are very bad?

I'm sure that others have signposted you to some information about intrusive thoughts that you might find helpful, but just in case you haven't seen them. These are just a few resources we've gathered from others who have found them helpful, do only watch or read if it feels helpful.

Thinking of you pinkladystar, this very difficult time won't last forever, though I know it feels never ending, but you really will come through this. Take care,

Ellie X

Blog ‘Intrusive thoughts: my journey with postpartum depression’: huffingtonpost.com/entry/in...

YouTube - ‘Understanding intrusive thoughts’ - CBT therapist Katie d'Ath explains the issues behind trying not to have certain thoughts:

youtube.com/watch?v=_Wss6W1...

Blog by Eve Canavan:

smalltimemum1.wordpress.com...

Healthline: 30 Grounding Techniques to Quiet Distressing Thoughts:

healthline.com/health/groun...

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Ellie_at_APP

hi Ellie

the 2 peer support workers have been absolutely amazing with me and I cant thank them enough for everything they are doing for me.

thank you for sending ur wishes it does definatley feels like it will never end and there is no light at the end of the tunnel.

I am really trying to reach out for support instead of giving in as I promised my support worker I wouldn't do anything.

I have a mental health review on Friday

I wish I cud sleep my head is just so full and is constantly racing with Intrusive thoughts.

thank you for sending me links of places that I can go.

thank you for thinking of me I really appreciate it x

I just hope I'm strong enough to get through to the end

Ellie_at_APP profile image
Ellie_at_APPPartner in reply to pinkladystar

Hi pinkladystar

That’s good you have a mental health review on Friday , I really hope it’s helpful. The important thing is to just be very honest about how you are, and how much you’re struggling. It’s so good you keep reaching out, you’re doing so so well to do that. It really really will get better.

I’m so sorry you’re struggling with sleep, can you take something to help you sleep? I really struggled with insomnia earlier this year and my counsellor did suggest something that worked well for me. Firstly to do lots of relaxing things before bed: bath, reading a novel to distract myself and doing exercise in the day really helped me. then when I was ready for bed to think of a protective figure, it could be a fictional character, animal, spiritual, anything. Say to the protective figure that you are handing over everything to them you’re holding, all your worries and anxieties, to hold for the night so that you can rest and sleep. Then lie down and go through in your head everything you’re thankful for , in your life, the world, small things, big things, and repeat if you run out of things. It can be even simple things like flowers, birds, the sunshine. I used to find it did help me to relax and that even if I still struggled to sleep it was still beneficial to do it.

And don’t worry if it doesn’t help at all, I just thought it might be worth trying and to share some things that helped me.

Thinking of you, hold on, you are doing so well to reach out and be honest with how much you are struggling, you really will get better

Ellie xx

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Ellie_at_APP

yh im glad I have a review as they weren't going to review me until 15th November

thank you it means alot saying that I am doing well because I find it hard to see the positives

I'm so confused reading ur message about the advise I wanna try it but I don't understand it.

thank you for thinking of me I hope I do get better it doesn't seem like it at the moment

Ellie_at_APP profile image
Ellie_at_APPPartner in reply to pinkladystar

Hi pinkladystar, don't worry about the suggestion I gave about helping sleep that worked for me, ignore for now - I imagine you can't take things in that well at the moment.

The most important thing is you are reaching out to people - ourselves and your mental health team, and that you have a review this week which is a good step to getting the help you need.

Thinking of you, Ellie X

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Ellie_at_APP

no i am struggling with processing what is being communicated to me in big messages

I really the appreciate the support from all of u at app

I have decided im not going to my review on Friday

Ellie_at_APP profile image
Ellie_at_APPPartner in reply to pinkladystar

Hi pinkladystar

It's so good you're reaching out to us here.

I'm sorry you don't want to go to your review on Friday. Please, please try and go, even if you're not sure if it will help. It's so important that you have a proper review, and that you tell them how much you are struggling, so they can give you more support. You must explain too that you're struggling with sleep as this has such a big impact.

Hold on pinkladystar, and I hope you can manage somehow to get some rest, and find ways that calm your thoughts. I know it is hard to believe but things really really will get better.

Take care,

Ellie

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Ellie_at_APP

hi Ellie

I reqlly dont wanna go as I dont feel listened to so whats the point in going and then not getting any where.

I hope things will get better because it is so hard

Ellie_at_APP profile image
Ellie_at_APPPartner in reply to pinkladystar

oh pinkladystar I can totally understand, I'm so sorry you don't feel listened to.

One way of looking at it I guess, is that you have nothing to lose by going, as things are already so hard, and won't be worse by going to the meeting. I really hope you can go.

Perhaps you can write down everything you are struggling with, and what you want to say and give it to them, rather than having to speak and not feel listened to?

Is there someone you could take with you, like your partner or a friend, who can explain how hard you are finding things as well?

Take care, thinking of you, Ellie

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Ellie_at_APP

hi Ellie

thank you for understandingwhat I mean about not being listened too

I know I probably should go my mental health appointment but I'm worried that the mental health worker going with me isn't listening to my thoughts.

thank you for thinking of me Ellie

was talking about ur messages with my peer support lady today :))))))

Jennythewren profile image
Jennythewren

Hello, how are you feeling now? You have such a lot of overwhelming things going on. I do hope you're doing a bit better? x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Jennythewren

hi ya

thank you for messaging and asking

I had crisis this morning

but thanks for asking

Jennythewren profile image
Jennythewren in reply to pinkladystar

I am sorry to hear that, I hope you are getting some support. Please talk here if you need to so that I and the other lovelies can listen and help if we can. Sending a big hug and wishing you a calm and restful evening if possible ❤️ xx

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Jennythewren

hi

thank you for sending me a hug

Think the evening is gonna be asrubbish as the rest of the day

Jennythewren profile image
Jennythewren in reply to pinkladystar

I know that feeling, I do. You’re not alone - I’m here and can chat if you need to xx

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Jennythewren

thank you so much

Jennythewren profile image
Jennythewren in reply to pinkladystar

❤️

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Jennythewren

i just wanna give in i cnt cope no more

Jennythewren profile image
Jennythewren

I know it’s hard, it’s painful and it’s not fair. Things get better though I promise and there will be days so much brighter than this. I know it feels like you can’t cope but you can. xx

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Jennythewren

i dnt think I can cope any more

x_Amy profile image
x_AmyVolunteer

Hey pinkladystar,

I wanted to check in after our chat here a couple of days ago. Have been thinking of you.

I’m sorry to hear that things feel so tough right now. The ladies here are right, hang in there because better days are coming, I promise.

Do you think you could get to your review tomorrow? I know it may feel like not much is helping at the moment, and you’re so overwhelmed, but I really hope you can go as it really could help.

Take care x

Amy

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to x_Amy

hi amy

thank you for thinking about me even though I dont deserve it

I reqlly dont want to go to my review tomorrow my peer support ladies are trying to persuade me to go but I dunno

x_Amy profile image
x_AmyVolunteer

Please be kind to yourself lovely lady. You definitely deserve so much more than you think! It sounds like your thoughts are particularly hard to deal with right now, on top of everything else you have to deal with every day. You are so strong, and you will realise this when you are feeling better.

I really do understand how you feel. I used to have so much anxiety before my reviews and other important appointments. You have absolutely nothing to lose by going though, and it’s a huge step in the right direction :) x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to x_Amy

hi amy

my thoughts are unbelievable atm

I am not strong at all

I dnt wanna go because I dnt think they will listen to me

x_Amy profile image
x_AmyVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

I’m so sorry that the thoughts are causing you such distress. Intrusive thoughts are the greatest liars, and you can get help to tackle these via mental health services.

You will be listened to, as you are here right now. Speaking from my experience (and that of the other ladies in this wonderful community who have been where you are), I know you will get through this and I am so glad to be talking with you now.

You are not alone x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to x_Amy

they are and there's nothing I can do

I'm not listened to though by the mental health team

thank you for saying ur glad to talk to me u don't have to be nice

x_Amy profile image
x_AmyVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

Do you have anyone that could go along to your appointment with you at all? I don’t know if this is helpful to hear, but when I was very poorly, I could barely say a word in reviews. I wrote everything down that I wanted to ask about and my community support worker would help me ask the questions I needed answers to.

The one thing I wish I had done is connected with other mums in my early days of recovery, which is exactly what you have done. And that’s another reason I am glad to be talking to you :) you’re here with ladies that understand you x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to x_Amy

im going with my mental health OT

I can never talk when I go to appointments

thank you for saying that

x_Amy profile image
x_AmyVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

I am so proud of you. I know you can do it.

Try and get some rest tonight and when tomorrow comes, be gentle with yourself. Make a few notes if you can to bring with you, and have something to look forward to for after your review - a nice cuppa and a biscuit was my go-to every time!

Remember the Samaritans are available if you need someone to talk to during the night. Take good care lovely lady, you can do this! x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to x_Amy

y are u so proud of me :(((((

I cant rest my head it just so full

thank you Amy

x_Amy profile image
x_AmyVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

Because I know you are strong. And you are going to get better ❤️

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to x_Amy

amy im not strong i promise u

x_Amy profile image
x_AmyVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

You might not be able to see your strength yet but we can :) I will write to you tomorrow to see how you are feeling. Good luck pinkladystar ⭐ x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to x_Amy

thanks amy

Jennythewren profile image
Jennythewren

You are strong lovely - much stronger than you realise x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Jennythewren

im not i just wanna give in

x_Amy profile image
x_AmyVolunteer

Hi pinkladystar, just a quick note to say I hope you managed to get some rest last night, and that I hope today is going well for you.

Amy x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to x_Amy

hi amy

no I couldn't sleep

I had my mental health review

x_Amy profile image
x_AmyVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

I’m sorry to hear you didn’t sleep, but a huge well done for going to your review 💐 that’s a really, really positive step. I hope it helped x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to x_Amy

its ok

it wasn't f

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to pinkladystar

Good

x_Amy profile image
x_AmyVolunteer

I’m sorry to hear that pinkladystar. Did you get to talk about it with your mental health OT, or one of the peer support ladies, after the review?

I hope you manage to rest this evening, and be so proud of yourself for going today. I know it couldn’t have been easy but you did it, and that’s amazing :) x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to x_Amy

sorry amy just seen ur message

my mental health ot was at the meeting with me.

no it wasn't easy.

I didnt realise it was an assessment and they were like were considering admitting u to hospital

but after they have decided to put the home treatment team in

x_Amy profile image
x_AmyVolunteer

Hi pinkladystar, it’s lovely to hear from you. Well done for getting through the assessment. Their decision to involve the home treatment team sounds like a really positive step forward for you :) thank you for keeping me posted.

I hope you get some rest tonight. Take care x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to x_Amy

thanks i appreciate it

I dunno got an assessment with the home treatment team tomorrow

not sure what to expect

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to pinkladystar

cant rest its doing my head in

x_Amy profile image
x_AmyVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

I hope it goes well for you. Try not to worry, they are there to support you with recovery at home :) pop a message on here if you’d like to chat after your assessment. Good luck x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to x_Amy

awe bless ya thank you so much I rewlly do appreciate ur support

Ellie_at_APP profile image
Ellie_at_APPPartner

Hi pinkladystar

I've had a few days off and just come back today, to see your messages.

How are you? I know that things are hard.

That is so good you went to your mental health review, I know you didn't want to, and it must have been difficult, but I'm sure it was the right thing, to get more help.

From what you've written the home treatment team will be supporting you? I do hope that goes OK, and you can get the support you need.

Ellie X

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Ellie_at_APP

hi Ellie thank you for thinking of me and reading my messages.

I am really struggling at the moment the suicidal thoughts are so frequent atm

Yh went to the mental health review i thought it was but it was actually an assessment. He suggested I went in to hospital and I said no its not happening. He wasn't a very nice man tbh both me and my mental health worker thought he was abrupt

home treatment team are now involved so went for my assessment with them today and I have to have contact with them every other day for the next 2-3 weeks x

Ellie_at_APP profile image
Ellie_at_APPPartner in reply to pinkladystar

oh pinkladystar I’m sorry you found the doctor you spoke to abrupt, and it must have shocked you to hear he thought you should go to hospital.

I’m so sorry the suicidal thoughts are really intrusive at the moment , that is so hard. Do stay safe, can you make sure you’re never alone do you think? I do hope you will get some helpful support in the next couple of weeks.

I hope too you can manage to improve your sleep as well, as I know what a big impact that can have.

If you do need to go to hospital that is ok too though I’m sure it’s the last thing you want. It may help to get intensive support for a while ? I imagine that feels quite scary though, but I know it has helped others.

Take care, Ellie x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Ellie_at_APP

yh it was horrible to hear that

I'm trying to stay safe. I try not to be on my own tbh as I have promised my peer support worker I won't do anything. But its getting harder to keep that promise

The home treatment team have put in place that I have to see them every other day which I dunno how I feel about that but need to start some where

the sleeplessness is really bad and frustrating me loads

I'm not going to hospital no way.

I'm greatful for all your support Ellie

laura

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Ellie_at_APP

hi ya

its been a night mare of a week again

I just dunno how much more I can take on

laur

Ellie_at_APP profile image
Ellie_at_APPPartner in reply to pinkladystar

I'm so sorry you've had such an awful week. Do keep telling your mental health team how you are, & what you are struggling with. And do tell them if you aren't sleeping too.

Can you get some tablets to help you sleep?

I know it feels never ending but this time won't last forever, it is going to get better.

Thinking of you XX

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Ellie_at_APP

its been horrendous i have been more open with my mental health team and informed them of my struggles

they didn't want to put me on sleeping tablets

EmiMum profile image
EmiMumVolunteer

Hi pinkladystar,

I am so sorry you have a nightmare of a week. How has it been with the home treatment team? As Ellie says, please do make sure that there is someone with you. We are always here for anything you need, but do please reach out to your team if you feel you can't keep yourself safe.

It will be helpful to get the out of hours emergency contact number, if you don't have it yet, write those down and stick them in a visible place in your house.

Will be thinking of you

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to EmiMum

they have been hit and miss broken promises with in the first 2 days lol.

what do you mean keep someone worh me

EmiMum profile image
EmiMumVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

Hi pinkladystar,

I am sorry to read they have been a bit hit and miss. Try and keep it going. Do they do face to face or is it over the phone? I just meant to not be alone. Take care

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to EmiMum

there doing both atm

EmiMum profile image
EmiMumVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

OK, that's good to hear, you are doing the right thing, pinkladystar. It will start to get better. Take really good care

hgallo profile image
hgalloVolunteer

.Hi pink lady star, I'm sorry to hear you're having such a tough time. Are you getting meds to help you sleep? I find lack of sleep very difficult so I feel for you.

I  have twin girls who are 6 and I've been very up and down with my mh. I just want to reassure you that it sounds like you're doing all the right things in a really hard situation. You're seeking support and telling people how you feel and that takes massive strength to do. Try and take things an hour at a time maybe just for now. And we're always here when you need support. No one at app will judge you as we've walked in those shoes.

They'll be better days I promise. Take care xx

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to hgallo

no im not on sleeping tablets

I'm trying so hard but my head is winning atm

hgallo profile image
hgalloVolunteer

Xx

Ellie_at_APP profile image
Ellie_at_APPPartner

Hi pinkladystar, I'm so sorry that things are so hard at the moment. You are doing so well to keep fighting your horrible thoughts.

How are you finding the support from the mental health team? I hope some of it at least is helpful?

As others has said do stay safe, try not to be on your own, but with a family member or friend, I hope that's possible?

And I hope you can find a way to get your sleep back on track, for example taking sleeping tablets for a bit? Lack of sleep has such a big affect, and will make intrusive and anxious thoughts a lot worse.

You really will come through this, and feel better.

Thinking of you, Ellie X

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Ellie_at_APP

hi Ellie

I'm trying so hard Ellie but I have days where I just think it would be easier just to give in to the thoughts.

last night was horrendous

y do u say make sure I'm not alone and I'm with some one

I am trying to sleep but my head is just constantly racing

I cant see any light at the end of the tunnel

thank you for thinking of me

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Ellie_at_APP

is any one awake

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar

is any one awake and can talk

EmiMum profile image
EmiMumVolunteer

Hi pinkladystar,

Good morning, how are you feeling? How was the night?

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to EmiMum

hi ya the night was horrendous my head was so full and the thoughts were so dark

EmiMum profile image
EmiMumVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

Hi pinkladystar,

I am sorry to read that last night was horrendous. Can you call the team today and let them know? Can they give you something to help sleep?

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to EmiMum

im on way to see home treatment team now

EmiMum profile image
EmiMumVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

That is really good you got to see them today. How did the chat go? Hope they have been able to reassure you with a plan going forward

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to EmiMum

hi ya emimum

it was ok no forward plan atm

EmiMum profile image
EmiMumVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

I am glad the chat was OK, are you seeing them again on Tuesday? Do they have any suggestions for the sleep?

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to EmiMum

no nothing im sorry to be a burden on

EmiMum profile image
EmiMumVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

You are not a burden, nothing of the sort. This is just an illness, you will get better, promise

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to EmiMum

i dnt think I will I just want to give in

EmiMum profile image
EmiMumVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

You will feel better. If you feel you cannot keep yourself safe tonight, do tell your husband, please. We are all thinking of you.

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to EmiMum

im at home on my own tonight

EmiMum profile image
EmiMumVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

OK, do remember you can also call Samaritans through the night if you need someone to chat with. It must feel really hard at the moment, but do believe us that better days are coming. This illness is temporary and with the right treatment you will get better

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to EmiMum

it don't matter.

EmiMum profile image
EmiMumVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

Take it just a moment at a time, very slowly. I do hope you manage some bit of rest tonight

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to EmiMum

my head is racing

EmiMum profile image
EmiMumVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

I am sorry to read that pinkladystar, on the plus side you are really self aware, I did not have this self reflection when I was unwell and was just driven by my thoughts. They are only thoughts and they will pass. Try and get some rest, even if your mind will not switch off, just let the tension leave your body.

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to EmiMum

x thanks

EmiMum profile image
EmiMumVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

Hi pinkladystar, hope the night was a bit better, thinking of you

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to EmiMum

hi emimum no it was an horrendous night reach out to shout at 10.10 and still nothing reviev3d back at 3.3

EmiMum profile image
EmiMumVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

I am so sorry to read that pinkladystar. Is it possible to have some company tonight? Maybe a family member can come over? Are you talking to the home treatment team tomorrow?

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to EmiMum

hi ya I spoke to them today they weren't very helpful

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to EmiMum

i rang them and they said u have an appointment tomorrow so as long as u can keep yourself safe speak to them

EmiMum profile image
EmiMumVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

Hi pinkladystar, its good that you have an appointment today with them. I am sorry the nights are so hard. Could you ask them to give you something to help you sleep? I'll be thinking of you

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to EmiMum

hi ya emimum

I dont think im gonna go to my appointment today as I rand crisis last night and they we really unhelpful

laura

EmiMum profile image
EmiMumVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

Hi pinkladystar,

I am sorry to hear that the crisis were not helpful last night. Do try and go to your appointment today and let them know how you have been feeling, as you deserve to feel better. Take care, will be thinking of you

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to EmiMum

i don't see the point in going to the appointment today though

I have told them how im feeling.

any tips on the Inside of you held feeling like its on fire

EmiMum profile image
EmiMumVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

It must be very frustrating to not be heard. But try and do tell them again, maybe try and write down how you have been feeling and give it to them, I found it easier to get my point accross when I wrote it down. Can your partner or a family member come with you to the appointment?

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to EmiMum

it is very frustrating not to be heard

i told them yesterday its ok next time you hear my name it will be because ur signing my death certificate.

EmiMum profile image
EmiMumVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

Oh pinkladystar, I am so sorry about the frustration you must feel. But you do deserve to feel better lovely. It is so infurating when someone is not listening at the other end. But more than likely it will be a different person today. Writing things down for them, did help me a lot, perhaps something to give a go? Take good care, will be thinking of you

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to EmiMum

its not even frustration because I'm quite happy to give in now.

I try and they say we need u to speak for us to do something

thanks for thinking of me I really don't deserve it

I just want to give in now I cant fight no more

EmiMum profile image
EmiMumVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

Oh love, you do deserve it. Try and show the home treatment team what you have just written above at your appointment today. Of course we are thinking of you.

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to EmiMum

which message do you want me to show them . Why do I have to go to the appointment t today

EmiMum profile image
EmiMumVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

Hi pinkladystar, how are you today? how was the night?

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to EmiMum

Hi EmimumLast night was very hard

I'm Rock bottom if I'm honest

There's only one thing worse than where I am now

EmiMum profile image
EmiMumVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

Hi pinkladystar, I am really sorry to read this, it is heart breaking how much you are struggling. We are all here for you, but I am just wondering if you would benefit from being more closely followed by a mental health team? Have the home treatment team mentioned the option of going to hospital? I understand it is not an easy decision at all

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to EmiMum

Hi emimum Thank you for your thoughts

I'm just really lucky that I have my peer support worker app and my mental health ot fighting for me everyday.

I am so greatful for you,jenny , Ellie and Amy and jm who are taking the time to support me massively on her to stay on the straight and narrow even though every day is getting worse and closer to the end .

They mentioned hospital at the beginning and they said it wasn't in my best interest it would make me worse

EmiMum profile image
EmiMumVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

Hi pinkladystar, it's good that they have considered it and reached a decision on it. Take it very slowly and a day at a time, better days are coming, for sure

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to EmiMum

Hi emimumI cnt see good days coming any time soon

EmiMum profile image
EmiMumVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

It is hard to see that when we feel so low, it will take some time, but for sure you will feel better

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to EmiMum

I wish I hadn't gone to the review I feel worse now

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to pinkladystar

Is any one available to talk

hgallo profile image
hgalloVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

You ok love? How's your day been?

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to hgallo

I'm really struggling today im trying so hard to fight the suicidal thoughts as I promised my peer support lady xWent to my meds review at rhe hospital and they treated me like shit

hgallo profile image
hgalloVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

Sorry to hear that, you deserve better than that. It's there something that would help you settle tonight? A warm bath or some TV and snacks maybe? I'm sure the APP team will be in touch tomorrow as well. It's hard not to let people like that knock you, but we're here for you, and believe in you xx

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to hgallo

I dunno how to settle this evening It annoyed me how they were like how can we help you and I said if I knew that do you think I would be sat here looking like shit

My peer support person is off tomorroe x

Thank you for believing in me I dont.

I just wanna give in so much I cnt cope no more

hgallo profile image
hgalloVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

Writing thoughts down helps some people to empty their head a bit before bed. Course I do, I was very low when I was poorly, and now I'm back studying and feeling almost back to myself again, most days! So I know it's possible to come back. Hang in there and try and rest when you can x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to hgallo

I dunno if I can hang on though hgallo

I am trying so hard tonight not to listen to the head x

hgallo profile image
hgalloVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

giveusashout.org/about-us/c... you need them in the night. Take care lovely x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to hgallo

I have contacted them but its been 3 hours and no response

hgallo profile image
hgalloVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

mind.org.uk/information-sup... a few more here x

hgallo profile image
hgalloVolunteer in reply to hgallo

mind.org.uk/information-sup...

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to hgallo

Thanks

x_Amy profile image
x_AmyVolunteer

Hey pinkladystar,

It’s been about a week since we last chatted here, and I wanted to let you know I’ve been thinking of you. I can see you’re going through a really hard time and I’m sending you a huge virtual hug. Please remember, it’s one day at a time at the moment. You’re doing so well battling the racing thoughts and I promise things are going to get better.

Amy x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to x_Amy

hi amy

thank you so much for thinking of me

thank you for sending a virtual hug

I'm trying so hard

x_Amy profile image
x_AmyVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

I know you are 💐 you are doing all the right things, keep talking to us and being open with your treatment team. I hope you get some rest tonight x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to x_Amy

the thoughts are just getting worse

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar

im sorry that I am being a burden on you all

x_Amy profile image
x_AmyVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

You are not a burden, lovely lady. You are going through a tough time and we are here to support you through it. You don’t have to share the thoughts you’ve been having here if you’re not comfortable to, but they will become manageable with time and support, I promise you x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to x_Amy

i feel I am a burden. I feel that it shouldn't be other peoples problem just because I'm unwell

I dnt mind sharing

I'mhaving thought of not wanting to be here

x_Amy profile image
x_AmyVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

You’re neither a burden or a problem, pinkladystar. Thank you for sharing the thought you’ve been having, that is such a brave thing to do. You’re a strong lady who is fighting through a very hard time. As you’ve mentioned, you are unwell. Please be kind to yourself and remember we are here for you.

If you struggle tonight, please do reach out to your out of hours mental health team or the Samaritans. They will want to help ❤️

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to x_Amy

there no point hidding my thoughts

I am not strong at all

I'll try to reach out

x_Amy profile image
x_AmyVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

Hi pinkladystar,

Just checking in and sending you another virtual hug. I’ve just read your most recent comments, and can see that you have a review tomorrow. I hope it goes well for you. Every appointment you attend is a huge step forward, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. Will be thinking of you.

Good luck x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to x_Amy

Hi Amy thank you for the virtual hug.

Like they gave said I can't be any lower

Well there is one thing

There not helping my mental health ot is really fighting for me

I'll try and go tomorrow

x_Amy profile image
x_AmyVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

I really hope you manage to go to your review today, and it goes well lovely lady. It is really positive to hear that your mental health OT is supporting you. Pop a message on here if you’d like to talk after your review.

Thinking of you, take care x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to x_Amy

Hi amy I really don't want to go to my review tbh

Yes my mental health ot will be there.

The only reason I'm continuing is because of my peer support person from app she is amazing

x_Amy profile image
x_AmyVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

I really do understand, reviews can be difficult especially in the early days. It is good to hear that your OT will be there, and will be in your corner. I’m so glad to hear you have a lovely peer support from one of our amazing ladies. We are rooting for you x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to x_Amy

I really don't want to go to the review.My peer support lady really is amazing she deserves so much credit

Ellie_at_APP profile image
Ellie_at_APPPartner

Hi Pinkladystar

I'm so sorry you're still struggling so much with your thoughts, and still finding it hard to sleep and rest.

Definitely are NOT a burden to us - this is the depression and illness making you feel that. I know I felt like that too though when I was very low. We all care about you.

Please keep reaching out, and speaking to the mental health professionals you are seeing.

Thinking of you, Ellie X

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Ellie_at_APP

hi Ellie

I obviously deserve it

thanks

Ellie_at_APP profile image
Ellie_at_APPPartner in reply to pinkladystar

Thinking of you, I hope you will see someone from your mental health team today. I know it doesn't feel like it at the moment, but things really will get better XX

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Ellie_at_APP

i rang the home treatment team and informed them of how I was feeling and they basically said ur seeing some one tomorrow so speak to them

Ellie_at_APP profile image
Ellie_at_APPPartner in reply to pinkladystar

Hi pinkladystar, I'm sorry the team weren't helpful yesterday, I know that sometimes Crisis can have a lot of different people working there, and so it can be hard not seeing the same person.

Do you have an appointment with your mental health team today? I do hope you can go, I know it's hard to believe they may help you, but do try to go, and tell them how much you're struggling.

Did you manage to sleep last night?

Thinking of you, Ellie XX

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Ellie_at_APP

hi Ellie

it was difficult as the home treatment team are saying please open up and tell us when ur struggling so I am and then they don't do anything

rang crisis team last night as was really struggling and when I rang they just said I cant comment as I dont know u.

Ellie_at_APP profile image
Ellie_at_APPPartner in reply to pinkladystar

Hi Pinkladystar,

I know it is so hard, and it must feel that they can't help you, but do keep trying to reach out, and speak to the mental health professionals, and have your appointments, then hopefully they can get you the help you need.

Did you manage to go to your appointment today?

I know it is hard to keep having hope, but honestly you are not going to feel this way forever, you are going to come through this and get better. So many of us here have felt like you have, and have come through it. You will too.

Thinking of you, take care, Ellie

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Ellie_at_APP

Hi Ellie It is so hard I dunno how much more I can take

Yes went to my hospital review

Un known to me my mental health ot was there waiting for me x .

I dont think I have any more fight in me

I asked the person I promised I wouldn't do anything stupid if they would give me permission to end it

Bet you can guess what there answer was

Ellie_at_APP profile image
Ellie_at_APPPartner in reply to pinkladystar

Oh pinkladystar I'm so sorry things are hard. Were you able to say how you felt at the hospital meeting? Was there any outcome from the meeting at all?

Are there some things you have done that have helped you in the past that you could do? Hobbies, exercise, certain routines?

I know we keep saying it but it really is true - things honestly won't feel this way forever, many of us have felt like you do and come through it. You will recover, and come through this dark time.

Ellie X

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Ellie_at_APP

Hi Ellie My mental health ot was there and I didnt know she was going to be there but she came in the meeting with me and told the home treatment team that we are going to loose this patient if something isn't done.

She said she has been u dear the team for week and half and nothing has been done yet

So no there was no outcome from the meeting unfortunately

I have a medic review tomorrow

Ellie_at_APP profile image
Ellie_at_APPPartner in reply to pinkladystar

Hi pinkladystar

Thinking of you today, I am sorry you're still struggling so much. I'm so glad you have your OT supporting you and advocating for you though, and what you may need.

I'm sorry you don't hear back from Shout. Have you tried reaching out to Samaritans, particularly at night when you are really struggling with your thoughts? They are available 24/7 to talk to, you can ring them anytime 116 123.

samaritans.org/how-we-can-h...

Hold on Pinkladystar, this crisis and these dark thoughts really won't last forever, you really really will come through this

Ellie

primrose81 profile image
primrose81

Hi there Laura, I am not often on this forum but it has helped me immeasurably in the past so please keep reaching out, it is so important even if you don’t feel like it. I had very bad PPD nearly 38 years ago, I did end up going into hospital and I am so glad I did. The first time I went in alone, the second time I had my baby with me - I was terrified of her and convinced I couldn’t cope/look after her etc and like you no sleep/racing intrusive thoughts all the time. It sucks so much. Please accept any help you can, like you I dreaded the thought of hospital treatment, I have a real phobia of hospitals/drs/dentists etc. But looking back hospital was the right place for me and above all it helped me to bond at long last with my baby. Hang on in there and grab all the help you can get - none of this is your fault and you will get to a better place I promise you xx

I hope this isn’t too long a post, I am over70 now but really feel your hurt and understand your feelings. Love, Patricia x

resilient_mama1982 profile image
resilient_mama1982Volunteer

Hi pinkladystar I have been where you are now. When you ask for help but it feels like you are not being listened too. It's so frustrating when your rock bottom to have to keep advocating for yourself. It's ridiculous how this happens in the mental health teams. I remember when I had suicidal thoughts that just kept coming.

The thing that saved me was talking openly to my psychiatrist who took immediate action. This was after ringing various mental health teams who wouldn't help over and over again.

Please keep staying in this world as your child needs you so much. You can and will get better.

I lost my sister to suicide. So when I was feeling just like she did I knew I wanted to live despite the intrusive thoughts I was having.

I am sharing this with you because you don't need to leave this world like my sister.

Your not a burden and this world needs you in it!!!

I know you probably won't want to do this. But please go to A&E or call 111 or 999 as this is deemed as medical emergency.

I want you to be on this forum giving others advice in the future who are struggling. So please take care of yourself and keep fighting. Sending you a massive big hug 💟

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to resilient_mama1982

Hi resilient_mama1982It is really hard when I have no more fight left in me to try an advocate for myself.

I had a meds review on Thursday and even though I sat there and broke in the meeting they still wouldn't listen

I'm sorry if my posts have upset you in any way I really am trying I promise but its just getting harder

Means alot for you to say I'm not a burden but I really feel I am

Thank you so much for your hug it means alot that you care so much even though you don't know me

Rachel_at_APP profile image
Rachel_at_APPPartner in reply to pinkladystar

Afternoon Pinkladystar,

I’m sorry to read that you’re struggling to advocate for yourself at times, it is hard when you’re feeling so poorly I know.

You write so well here, I wonder if you have a note pad too, where you can note down sentences, words, feelings that might help you communicate when you meet with professionals.

You’re really not a burden, not to us and certainly not to everyone supporting you. It’ll be ok. Do write here anytime if it helps.

Rachel x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Rachel_at_APP

Hi Rachel I have written stuff down for the professionals as when I go to meetings sometimes I can't talk

Thank you for saying I'm not a burden even though I feel I am

resilient_mama1982 profile image
resilient_mama1982Volunteer

You haven't upset me at all I just want to make sure you get the help and support you need to make you feel better 💓

You should never have to advocate for yourself when your feeling so terrible. If it was a physical problem like a broken leg you would get help right away. However when it comes to mental health the experience of getting help is totally different..

I have been where you are now where I thought that if I wasn't here anymore everyone would be better off as I was a burden. Looking back I realize that my thoughts where really mixed up as I wasn't sleeping well and was not myself at all. These thoughts of being a burden are strong but I can assure that they will leave you 💟

I know you have been given the number for Shout out and the Samaritan's.

There is also the National Suicide Prevention helpline UK. There open from 6pm until 3.30am everyday on number 0800 689 5652. Saneline are open 4.30pm to 10.30pm everyday. There number is 0300 304 7000.

All that aside if you feel you can't cope anymore and those thoughts keep coming please go to A&E or dial 999.

I look forward to reading on here that you got the help you needed and are on the road to recovery 🙏

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to resilient_mama1982

Thank you so much for caring that much Yh they just keep saying to me what do you want us to do to help you get better

I do feel like a massive burden.

The shout one they never answer

Thanks for the numbers

I struggle to ring them

And I won't go to the hospital because there going to be like all the other NHS people

I cant see light yet

resilient_mama1982 profile image
resilient_mama1982Volunteer

I am so sorry you are going through this. I agree the NHS staff are a mixed bag. But they are also filled with some really lovely people who do care and really want to help.

The only reason I have suggested the hospital is because that is where I should have went when I was feeling as low as you are now.

I am sure your absolutely exhausted fighting so hard. I didn't share how bad I was suffering for so many reasons. My children where one reason as I didn't want to be seen as an unfit mother and another was I found it difficult actually saying I am suicidal as it is so hard to say but once you say it you feel like a weight is lifted off you !!!

If there ever comes a point where you are desperate and those thoughts don't stop. Which is so scary to live through, I advise you to call 999. If anything the other helplines I give you will hopefully help.

You keep asking for help until someone listens and never stop advocating for your own wellness.

Whatever way you seek help I hope that you feel supported and have hope and faith in your own inner strength to get through this 💟

You take great care from one mummy to another 💝

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to resilient_mama1982

Yh I met one of your lovley peer support ladies whilst under the perinatal mental health team I am not going in to hospital I will give in before I allow them to admit me

I feel like I am judged every time I admit it

I struggle with the mental health team as I always wonder what they are thinking

I'm really struggling with seeing me going in to the next day

I am giving in right now because I have no more fight in me

No I just wanna give in so much I can't do this no more

Rachel_at_APP profile image
Rachel_at_APPPartner

It’s Rachel here Pinkladystar,

You’re loved. You’re needed. You’re really really important. And I really want to say, that what you’re feeling is temporary.

I have been suicidal when I was poorly. It’s a desperate place to be, I hear you.

Is anyone with you? Can they support you to contact your health professionals? Can you call Samaritans tonight on 116 123. They are there to support, anytime.

Phone for help Pinkladystar, 999 in an emergency.

I’ll write again in the morning. We’re here. You’re not a burden, you’re poorly lovely, but you really can get better from one Mummy to another.

Love and hugs, Rachel x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Rachel_at_APP

Hi Rachel Thats kind of you to say.

I have rang home treatment and crisis

And they just say you have an appointment on Monday

Thank you for the love and hugs even though I dont deserve it

Rachel_at_APP profile image
Rachel_at_APPPartner

Oh Pinkladystar, I mean every word. And of course you deserve a hug! You’re a warrior fighting this. You’re being so strong to write here. Try and rest, keep safe. Well done for phoning them.

Try and have someone with you, a friend, or neighbour maybe?

Sending hugs. I’ll write again in the morning. Rachel x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Rachel_at_APP

Thank you

They just dont wanna help

I'm with my friend

Rachel_at_APP profile image
Rachel_at_APPPartner in reply to pinkladystar

Morning pinkladystar,

I’ve been thinking of you. I’m glad your friend was with you last night. I hope they are ok too and that you can manage to have some breakfast together this morning.

I’ll check in a bit later on today. But in the meantime here’s another hug. You deserve that one too. Promise.

Take care,

Rachel x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Rachel_at_APP

Hi ya no still haven't eaten I cant face food

I feel sorry for my friend as I had a proper meltdown last night

Thank you for the hug

Rachel_at_APP profile image
Rachel_at_APPPartner in reply to pinkladystar

I’m sorry to hear you had a meltdown last night. You’ve got a good friend, to be with you when you needed them. I’m glad they are there for you too.

Sorry you can’t face food at the moment. Maybe in a little bit you could try something small with the support of your friend?

Rachel x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Rachel_at_APP

I am really struggling to even function now I was pushing her away as I am fed up of being a burden

EmiMum profile image
EmiMumVolunteer

Hi pinkladystar,How are you this morning? Its good you had a friend with you last night. Thinking of you. Take good care

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to EmiMum

Hi emimum still the same as last night Tbh it didn't make a difference inhad my friend there

Thank you for thinking of me but I don't deserve it

EmiMum profile image
EmiMumVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

Hey pinkladystar,I am so sorry the night was difficult again. You do deserve to be thought of and to feel better. Are you seeing your OT on Monday? Hope that today feels a little bit better than yesterday.

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to EmiMum

Hi emimum Thanks

I know people are probably fed up of my negativity.

Think it is time to remove my self off the forum

EmiMum profile image
EmiMumVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

Hi pinkladystar,Oh lovely, no one is fed up here. We care for you

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to EmiMum

Ok xx

The_Wes_Anderson_Fan profile image
The_Wes_Anderson_FanVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

Not at all, we are all on this forum because we want to help others after what we have been through ourselves. We will always want to help you. The forum is for you to use in exactly the way that you have been.Please keep posting updates as we all care about you x

You can get APP one to one support too.

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to The_Wes_Anderson_Fan

Thanks

I have an amazing app support person

Rachel_at_APP profile image
Rachel_at_APPPartner in reply to pinkladystar

Well done pinkladystar.

My recovery from PP was a bit like baking a cake, there were lots of different “things” or “ingredients” that helped me. Medicine, medical professionals, family, friends and later peer support through Action on Postpartum Psychosis.

Keep doing what you’re doing, engaging in support. Take care. We’re all thinking of you together. And remember you’re not a burden. You’re just poorly at the moment and it’s ok to need help.

Rachel x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Rachel_at_APP

Thanks Rachel

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Rachel_at_APP

Sprry it was only a short message really struggling to focus and negative thoughts are so dark

Rachel_at_APP profile image
Rachel_at_APPPartner in reply to pinkladystar

Hello lovely, it’s ok. I’m sorry you’re having some dark thoughts. That must be very difficult for you. Can you try writing down what you’re feeling in your note pad to help? I hope your friend is still with you and can be there to talk with you.

Mind have a few suggestions of things to help distract you from negative thoughts. One in particular just made me smile about looking at black and white photos of the dogs pugs!

mind.org.uk/information-sup...

Have you managed to eat and drink some water today?

Rachel x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Rachel_at_APP

Hi Rachel the thoughts are getting worse

Aww x

No I havent eaten u have had fluids

Rachel_at_APP profile image
Rachel_at_APPPartner in reply to pinkladystar

I’m sorry pinkladystar, that’s really hard.

Do you have your care plan on hand? Don’t forget all the phone numbers, which you can phone if you need to. Like the crisis number, the 111 (999 in an emergency), the Samaritans if you need to talk 116 123.

I know you said you find it hard to phone people, but don’t face this on your own. It’ll be ok. We all care about you. Rachel x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Rachel_at_APP

No I don't have a copy of my care plan Thank you rachel

Thank you for caring about me

Rachel_at_APP profile image
Rachel_at_APPPartner in reply to pinkladystar

Maybe next time you see your health professional you could mention your care plan. When I was poorly I had a few different versions at different stages in my recovery. I found them helpful, to know that backup was there. I hope you can have a restful evening. Thinking of you x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Rachel_at_APP

Feeling really rubbish

Rachel_at_APP profile image
Rachel_at_APPPartner in reply to pinkladystar

Oh I’m really sorry to hear that lovely. The evenings can be really hard can’t they.

Is your friend with you tonight? I wonder what you might be able to do to help distract yourself? Maybe a relaxing bath or shower before bed? Or some warm milk? Can you focus on a book? Or maybe some colouring would help as it doesn’t need lots of effort if you’re tired? Im wondering if you like the film Grease, given your forum name? Can you put on your favourite comforting film maybe?

I’m off to bed now. But my colleagues from the national Peer Support team who I know you’ve exchanged messages with here before will be here. So do write if it helps.

Thinking of you lots. And don’t forget the phone numbers I shared with you earlier this evening if you need them.

Thinking of you lots and lots. My mum used to say to me, “this too shall pass.” She was right, I did get better and so can you pinkladystar. Take care. Rachel x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Rachel_at_APP

Hi Rachel No its just me and my daughter tonight

The forum name was given me by the forum lol I think I never chose it

I'll try and focus on things but these racing thoughts are so strong

Who do u mean from the national peer support team

Thank you for the numbers Rachel even though I find it hard to use them

Thanks Rachel

Rachel_at_APP profile image
Rachel_at_APPPartner in reply to pinkladystar

You’re more than welcome. We’re here to help. The forum is looked after by the Charity, Action on Postpartum Psychosis. There are a couple of us who support here and moderating forum including Ellie_at_APP Jenny_at_APP Zebunisa_at_APP alongside some really really lovely volunteers who’ve been replying to you too.

We all really care pinkladystar. We care because we’ve been where you are. And felt what you’ve felt. I know it’s hard, but I hope you know that there are people at the end of the phone there to help including Samaritans for example.

I wonder if some relaxing music might help tonight? Maybe some nursery rhymes or lullabies? They can be comforting if you’ve not listened to too many recently! I listened to some audiobooks too, ones that I liked when I was little were comforting to me in some way.

Try and rest if you can. Lots of hugs. Rachel x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Rachel_at_APP

Thank you

Oh ok that makes sense what ur saying

Thank you for caring for me x

Still wide awake . Can't settle

Zebunisa_at_APP profile image
Zebunisa_at_APPAPP in reply to pinkladystar

Yes, Rachel_at_APP Ellie_at_APP -pinkladystar we are here for you ❤️

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Zebunisa_at_APP

Thanks

x_Amy profile image
x_AmyVolunteer

Hey pinkladystar, please do stay in touch with us here sweetheart. Is anyone with you at the moment?

It’s so important to lean on your support network, especially right now. We are here for you x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar

Thank you amy

Ellie_at_APP profile image
Ellie_at_APPPartner

Hi pinkladystar, thinking of you today, and hoping you are somehow coping - you are doing so well to keep reaching out. I hope you can keep being honest about how you're feeling to the mental health team supporting you.

Take care, Ellie

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Ellie_at_APP

Thank you for thinking of me I dunno if I can keep going though

I'm trying so hard

Ellie_at_APP profile image
Ellie_at_APPPartner

Hi pinkladystar

You are doing so well, to keep going, and keep trying, and the way you are reaching out to your support, going to your appointments etc, though I know sometimes it feels like it's not helping, it will help you.

It helped me when I was feeling very depressed to make a plan each day - just some small goals of what I would do, sometimes I'd even plan an hour at a time.

I also would write a list of what I was thankful for at the end of each day. Even very small things, like my child's smile, or a flower I saw, anything really small. I think this slowly did help to build up my positivity.

I don't know if any of those things will help, do take or leave anything I write of course

Thinking of you, Ellie X

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Ellie_at_APP

Hi Ellie I am trying so hard

I'm struggling to just function through a day I will try though anything is worth a try

I really appreciate you giving me ideas to try

Ellie_at_APP profile image
Ellie_at_APPPartner in reply to pinkladystar

You are doing so well pinkladystar, to keep trying and function as you say.

Also, if I'm struggling to sleep, I go through in my head while I'm lying down, all the things I'm thankful for as well (again, it can be anything and everything) until I feel sleepy and fall asleep. I find it does help to relax my mind, and helps me to switch off and sleep. Perhaps something else worth trying?

Thinking of you XX

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Ellie_at_APP

Hi Ellie

Thank you for all your ideas

I went to my meeting today with the home treatment team and they are looking at another medication review as the new medication has made me put weight on and it has affected me even more. So they are gonna see what other medication I can be put on.

I have psychology tomorrow I am so scared

Ellie_at_APP profile image
Ellie_at_APPPartner in reply to pinkladystar

Hi Pinkladystar

That's good you had a meeting with the home treatment team, and that they are looking at your medication. This could be a good thing, if you have been struggling so much. I do hope that is helpful.

That's really great you have been offered psychology. I imagine you might have had to wait quite a while for it? I hope it went ok. It is natural to be scared at first. I really hope the first meeting went well. I imagine it was just an introduction. Psychology was really helpful for me when I was struggling with depression, I hope you will find it helpful. It helped me to challenge negative thoughts.

Take care pinkladystar, I do hope today went ok

Ellie

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Ellie_at_APP

Hi Ellie Thsnk you

It has been 8 months since I was referred to psychology but they are seeing they there is still a Massive weight for treatment

Been to home treatment meeting today to find it was a medic review and they have changed my medication again

Pikorua profile image
PikoruaVolunteer

Sending you much love and kindness and thinking of you pinkladystar. This is a group of amazing mums, who are there for you. This forum helped me, too and yep totally none-judgmental. xxx

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Pikorua

Thank you for thinking of me

ColibriGirl profile image
ColibriGirl

Hi pinkladystar, I am sending you a hug. I read your messages here and can see how much you've been suffering. Whatever happens, you are doing your best and you deserve care. Hope you get the support you need. Xx

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to ColibriGirl

Thank you for the virtual hug Thank you for the kind words I dont deserve it

ColibriGirl profile image
ColibriGirl in reply to pinkladystar

I can recognise that thought. The thought that you don't deserve kindness is part of the illness I'm afraid. It's OK. The thought might be loud, but it will go away given time.

As someone who has been ill and is now better, I'm sending you kindness and compassion, from my heart to yours, as a gift.

Well done for going to your appointments pinkladystar, and for staying in touch with your mental health team.

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to ColibriGirl

Hi ya I hope so

Thank you for sending wishes

x_Amy profile image
x_AmyVolunteer

Hey pinkladystar, I’ve just been catching up with the replies to your post and it’s so good to hear that you have managed to get to your appointments during this difficult time. You should be so proud of yourself 💐 I hope the change in your medication will have you feeling better soon. Thinking of you x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to x_Amy

Hi ya thank you for being concerned enough to read my replies

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar

Is any one awake

Jenny_at_APP profile image
Jenny_at_APPPartner

Hi pinkladystar

I hope you’re doing ok this evening. It’s good to read in an earlier reply that you’ve had a medication review today - I hope the change in medication will help you in how you’ve been feeling.

I’m switching off shortly but do call Samaritans if you need someone to listen in the night - 116 123. And do keep reaching out to your team if you’re struggling.

I’m thinking of you and hope you can get some rest.

Best wishes,

Jenny xx

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Jenny_at_APP

Hi jenny I am trying so hard I'm going to try

EmiMum profile image
EmiMumVolunteer

Hi pinkladystar,

How are you this morning? You have done so well to keep going to your appointments, although it is not always easy to muster the energy, really brave of you. Thinking of you

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to EmiMum

Hi emimum Thanks

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar

Is any one awake

Ellie_at_APP profile image
Ellie_at_APPPartner

Hi pinkladystar

How are you doing? I see you were awake last night, really sorry you weren’t able to sleep. I know how struggling with sleep massively effects me so I hope you’re coping ok.

I hope your different appointments have gone ok, I know you have started psychology. I really hope it will be helpful.

Take care

Ellie

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Ellie_at_APP

Hi Ellie Still the same really struggling

I rang samaratains last night because I sidnt know what to do

I was just so close to giving in

I havent started psychology that was just an assessment they said it can be up to 2 years for treatment

Went to see the home treatment team yesterday and was more upset when I came out the lady said this is life and we just have to keep going

Ellie_at_APP profile image
Ellie_at_APPPartner in reply to pinkladystar

oh pinkladystar I’m sorry the appointments you’ve had haven’t felt helpful, and I can’t believe how long you need to wait for psychology, this is awful. I hope you do have professionals you can reach out to, I know you have a ot who supports you?

It’s so good that you reached out to Samaritans last night. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but you are doing so well to keep yourself safe and to keep reaching out for support and saying how you feel. This takes a lot and a really big achievement I know when you’re feeling low and struggling.

I hope it’s reassuring in some way to know that if you’re really struggling at night you can ring the Samaritans, you aren’t alone.

I do hope you can find ways to help you through the days, whether that’s through exercise, seeing a supportive friend, helpful routines etc, or anything else that helps you.

This won’t last forever pinkladystar, you will come through this and feel yourself again, you really will.

Ellie xx

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Ellie_at_APP

I do have an ot but obviously she only works 9-5 And I have my amazing peer support lady and all you ladies on here are really supportive

I didnt care that I could ring samaratains tbh I just wanted it all to go away.

I hope so I think I just can't deal with this no more I just dont know how i am gonna carry on

Ellie_at_APP profile image
Ellie_at_APPPartner in reply to pinkladystar

yes of course, support can never be there 24/7, except of course being able to ring Samaritans.

But you did so well to ring Samaritans, to help you in the darkest moment, to keep going.

You have been surviving pinkladystar, you can do it, though I know it feels like you can’t.

I am just about to go to the APP London cafe group now, I do hope you can have a weekend with some good moments , I imagine with some time with your daughter?

Thinking of you xxx

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Ellie_at_APP

Hi Ellie I know its just so hard when the support that should be there over night isn't there

Ur ladies will be lucky to see ya

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar

Is any one available for a chat

Rachel_at_APP profile image
Rachel_at_APPPartner in reply to pinkladystar

Hello pinkladystar,

How are you doing? It’s Rachel here. I’ve been thinking of you.

Rachel x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Rachel_at_APP

I've not been great tbh I feel like I'm just getting worse

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Rachel_at_APP

Home treatment team are really not doing anything

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Rachel_at_APP

My ot has emailed head of services today because nothing seems to being done

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Rachel_at_APP

I thought I had upset people on here as I hadn't heard of any one

Rachel_at_APP profile image
Rachel_at_APPPartner in reply to pinkladystar

Hi there, not at all, you couldn’t upset anyone here. We’re a caring bunch, who really do care about women going through what we did. We’re here for you. And I know you’ve had some lovely replies before. Would it help to re-read some of the comforting words people have written to you? I know when I re-read messages people had written to me, I found it quite reassuring.

Is there a friend or family member with you tonight? Or someone you might be able to call upon to chat if you need to?

I’m sorry to hear you feel like you’re getting worse. I know my own recovery was very up and down from PP. Sometimes it’s hard to see that you’ll get better, I really do understand.

Keep talking to the professionals around you. I’m glad that you’ve your OT who is supporting you too.

Thinking of you. Rachel x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Rachel_at_APP

I'm woth my friends tonight because of how suicidal I am

Rachel_at_APP profile image
Rachel_at_APPPartner in reply to pinkladystar

I’m glad you’re with your friends pinkladystar. That’s really good. Keep with them. They love you. And we’re here for you.

Have your friends got the crisis numbers to phone if they need to? People care about you. You’re important. So do pick up the phone to speak to someone if you need to.

111 or 999 in an emergency. Samaritans are also there day or night on: 116 123.

Sending many hugs. Rachel x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Rachel_at_APP

Hi Rachel just a message to say I made it through the night

Rachel_at_APP profile image
Rachel_at_APPPartner in reply to pinkladystar

We’re more than glad you’re here pinkladystar. Well done. I’ve been thinking of you while I was at work today. Take care. And keep talking lovely. Rachel x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Rachel_at_APP

Thanks Rachel but I rewlly can't do this no more I reqlly dont know what to do

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Rachel_at_APP

Thank you for thinking about me but you shouldn't be bothering you self over some one like me

Rachel_at_APP profile image
Rachel_at_APPPartner in reply to pinkladystar

Morning,

Everyone is worthy of receiving the care of others pinkladystar. Including you. I’m sorry you’re feeling that way.

Keep taking one day at a time. If that feels too much, take an hour at a time, if that feels too much, take 10 minutes at a time. We’re here and we all care about you. Take care.

Rachel x

The_Wes_Anderson_Fan profile image
The_Wes_Anderson_FanVolunteer

Please stay with your friends x

EmiMum profile image
EmiMumVolunteer

Hi pinkladystar,How are you feeling this morning? Hope that your friends stayed the night with you and that you were able to rest some. Take care we are all here for you

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to EmiMum

Hi emimum Still feeling pretty much the same but managed to make it through the night had a very rough night but my friend made sure I couldn't access anything

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to EmiMum

My daughter is 18 months old today x

EmiMum profile image
EmiMumVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

Hi pinkladystar,

I am glad your friends helped you through the night, anniversaries are hard so be very gentle with yourself today. If you feel in crisis at any point today do check with the crisis team. Take care, will be thinking of you

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to EmiMum

Hi emimum Yh she did she wouldn't let me do anything I was so annoyed with her

I cant belive I have been suffering for 18months

EmiMum profile image
EmiMumVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

It has been really really hard, but there is hope that you will feel better with the right help. Take care

Jenny_at_APP profile image
Jenny_at_APPPartner

Hi pinkladystar

I’m sorry you were struggling last night and so glad your friend helped you to stay safe 💜

I hope your OT can help to move things along with the home treatment team, I’m so glad she’s fighting for you.

Keep taking things one day at a time, we’re all here to listen and care about you.

Thinking of you today and sending lots of love xx

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Jenny_at_APP

Hi jenny yh she did i begged her to tell me how I could get it all to dissappear but she wouldn't Meeting my ot at 9am I asked her to come to my meeting with home treatment today

Laura

Jenny_at_APP profile image
Jenny_at_APPPartner in reply to pinkladystar

I’m so glad your friend was there for you 💜

I hope things go ok with your appointments today, that’s good your OT will be coming with you - keep being really open and honest as you have been and pushing for that support.

Sending love and strength xx

Pikorua profile image
PikoruaVolunteer

Hello pinkladystar,

I will be thinking of you today. So pleased your friend was there for you. Good luck with your appointment. Sending you much love and inner strengths. 🧡

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Pikorua

Hi ya pikorua

Thank you for sending me love I really appreciate know there are people there for me x

Even though I really don't deserve it .

Pikorua profile image
PikoruaVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

Wishing you inner peace. We all deserve! Have a restful night. x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Pikorua

Thank you

Jenny_at_APP profile image
Jenny_at_APPPartner

Hi pinkladystar,

I hope your appointments today went ok, I’ve been thinking of you.

I hope you’re able to get some rest tonight, I’ll check in tomorrow.

Best wishes,

Jenny xx

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to Jenny_at_APP

Hi jenny

Appointment today was ok my ot came with me

I doubt the rest part even with sleeping tablets its not working

I just dunno what to do

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar

Is any one awake

Jocelyn_at_APP profile image
Jocelyn_at_APPPartner

Hi pinkladystar,I've just seen your post from late last night. I hope you managed to get some rest last night.

Thinking of you xx

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar

Hi ya no no rest again

I've started having vovid hallucinations

EmiMum profile image
EmiMumVolunteer

Hi pinkladystar,I am sorry to read you had no rest last night and that you are experiencing vivid hallucinations. They can be very frightening at times.

Have you been in contact with your OT in the last 2 days? Has the team suggested a change on medication to help with your sleep?

Thinking of you

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to EmiMum

They have put me on sleeping tablets but they make me more awake.No not had any contact with ot

No contact with my peer support

The vivid hallucinations are really frightening

EmiMum profile image
EmiMumVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

That sounds really tough, I also struggled to sleep despite sleeping tablets when I was unwell. Are you still seeing the home treatment team every other day?I am sorry that the vivid hallucinations are so frightening, is your family or your friend with you this weekend?

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to EmiMum

Hi emimum Yh the sleeping is a nightmare

Yh but they said today that it will be reduced to twice a week. But they haven't done anything.

No on my own this weekend

EmiMum profile image
EmiMumVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

Hi pinkladystar,The not sleeping is really hard, quite a few of my symptoms became less severe when I was able to start sleeping thanks to the medication.

Hope you were able to catch a little rest last night. Thinking of you

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to EmiMum

Hi emimum I had a horrendous night the thoughts were more intense contacted shout but still now I havent had a response

They have put me on sleeping tablets but they don't do anything

EmiMum profile image
EmiMumVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

Hi pinkladystar,

I am sorry to read that you have not had a reply from Shout. It must be very stressful for you when the night is approaching. Please do contact Samaritans if you need to talk to someone through the night. Thinking of you.

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to EmiMum

Hi emimum Thank you

I just dunno how much more I can take of this illness

The_Wes_Anderson_Fan profile image
The_Wes_Anderson_FanVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

Thinking of you, please take Emimum's advice and contact friends/family for help or the samaritans x

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar

Woke up this morning at 1 am and had an episode where I was hallucinating it was so horrible. But it made me wanna act on it so much. I havent yet x

EmiMum profile image
EmiMumVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

Hi pinkladystar,

I am so sorry to hear that, hallucinations can be very frightening. How are you feeling now? Is your partner with you today?

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to EmiMum

Hi ya no one is with me today just me and my daughter

The hallucinations were really strong and horrible

EmiMum profile image
EmiMumVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

Hi pinkladystar, it sounds very very hard, I am sorry. Are you having an appointment this week with the home treatment team to let them know how you are feeling?

pinkladystar profile image
pinkladystar in reply to EmiMum

Hi emimumSorry I didnt reply to you I have had an horrendous day and evening

Seeing the htt today but its a waste of time before I get there

Seeing my ot today but found out the other day she isn't gonna be supporting me any more e

EmiMum profile image
EmiMumVolunteer in reply to pinkladystar

Hi pinkladystar, don't worry about replying, I am sorry that you had a bad day and evening. Its good that you are seeing your ot today, I am sorry that she won't be supporting you moving forward as you had a good relationship with her. Maybe it will be a good idea to ask your home treatment team about an update to your crisis plan, so that you can move forward with a bit more of certainty as to what support will be available to you.

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