So it's now been a year since I was admitted & discharged from my local mother & baby unit with what they classed as "stress induced psychosis"
I was admitted when my baby was just 6 days old & he is now a happy healthy 14month old who I absolutely LOVE to the moon & back! Him & my eldest son who's 6 are my two saving graces..
What I'm wanting to ask is do any of you still have flashbacks of you're time in a MBU or psychiatric ward during you're illness??
I do ALOT...
I would say its becoming an everyday thing now..
I still think about my time in the MBU & it stirs up the emotions of how I was feeling at that very time..
I'm terrified of the psychosis suddenly just coming back again one day out of the blue without any warning..
During my stay in the mbu I was an inpatient for 7weeks receiving treatment & support from the fantastic staff who I will forever be externally thankful for..
What scares me now is if I was to have another episode & be admitted to a general psychiatric ward not an mbu as my son is now over a year old..
I dunno how I would cope with that if that was to ever happen..
I miss the safety, warmth & friendly security of having the mbu as my security blanket..& now knowing that's now not here for me it's a worry everyday..
Recovery overall has been up & down at times but I would say I have recovered well considering how unwell I was during the last few weeks of my pregnancy/delivery & the first few days that followed..
Does anyone else feel how I feel?
I have a fab support system with my family, other half & friends I just feel I'm still suffering trauma from the events that have taken place..
To even look back at pictures of my baby at that time stirs up how I was feeling during that time period..
Somone please tell me I am not alone in feeling this way.. I feel a huge sense of loss, grief & heartbreak that my sons first few weeks of life I was too unwell to soak in & enjoy the newborn bubble & be the mummy to my two boy's then that I am today..