Something that has been playing on my mind a lot recently is worry over ending up being diagnosed as bi-polar. I was admitted to hospital in January 2019 when my son was 12 weeks old with postpartum psychosis and we spent 8 weeks in the mother and baby unit. I have been on lithium and Olanzapine ever since, last years lock down caused symptoms and another psychotic episode. At times If I’m not careful with medication management and self care manic symptoms return. I am able to deal with these episodes by making sure I get lots of rest. I am now left wondering as my son is now a toddler will I be left suffering from bi polar. Just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience or how long your recovery from postpartum psychosis was. Thanks J x
Hi J,I’m glad you have been able to reach out and talk about what’s happening for you. My experience is a little different in that I had a long established diagnosis of bipolar before I had postpartum psychosis.
Are you currently under a mental health team or psychiatrist? Have they discussed with you what they think the episodes of symptoms may represent? I wonder if having the space to talk it through with them would help you to reflect and make sense of what has happened. Some people find that useful but it’s ok if that’s not for you.
Obviously I can only speak from my experience but I found my recovery to be longer than that of a bipolar episode. Perhaps because we are juggling the needs of a baby/toddler on top of managing our health, which isn’t easy. I found it to be bumpy and not in a straight line, but the right support helped a lot.
Keep talking if it helps, I hope you can have a good weekend x
I am glad you reached out here for what is clearly concerning you at the moment. I have no experience of bipolar myself, so I am sorry that my experience is not going to amount to much. It sounds very hard what you are going through at the moment, specially as you are a busy mom of 4, having had manic episodes while ill with pp I know they can be very hard to manage.
If you feel like it would help to talk to an expert in the area, there is a second opinion service offered by Professor Ian Jones of the University of Cardiff. Your GP or psychiatrist can refer you to it and it is free for you and the referring NHS trust. He is an expert on the field of pp and bipolar and offers consultation service (by skype) for women with experience of BP and/or PP.
Take care J, hope things start to look up and write here whenever you want to
Hello J42018 and welcome to APP's peer support forum. Really glad you have found us and reached out for support in your recovery.
I experienced PP in 2015 and 2011 after the birth of my daughters. With both girls, I guess I would say that my 'clinical' recovery in terms of symptoms of depression after PP easing took about a year each time. However for many women, myself included, recovery in terms of feeling confident as a mum and making sense of our experience can take some time longer. It's been such a stressful year with the impact of COVID that it's really understandable that your mental health has suffered - you are absolutely not alone.
I thought it might be helpful to share a bit of my own experience in terms of receiving a Bipolar diagnosis in 2016. I have now been well - without hypomanic or depressive episodes - for almost six years. Although it can feel like a scary diagnosis to have, I do feel it's really helped me to understand myself better, and to listen to my body and mind's needs more attentively to maintain wellness. Similarly to you, I have found that mood-stabilising medication along with being mindful of rest and sleep are key. For me, yoga and exercise as well as getting out into nature have also helped to manage the times of high energy and lower mood.
Please do keep in touch with any questions you have, and you may also find it really helpful to connect with Bipolar UK bipolaruk.org/ for more info and advice.
Naomi_at_app thank you for your reply here...at the height of my anxiety after each of my births my biggest fears always centred around “loosing control” or being taken away from my babies. PP after my third baby brought me face to face with these fears as I was very unwell (In a terrible car accident), and hospitalized in a general psychiatry unit (we don’t have MBU in Canada). Anyways nearly a year later I am still struggling with anxiety and low mood related to everything and my new psychiatrist is assessing for bipolar. I have so many fears around diagnosis, medication and relapse in psychosis, but your post is so reassuring in that getting a proper diagnosis doesn’t have to be a bad thing.
I hope it's helpful to know that a huge number of women with perinatal mental health conditions share the same fears - worrying that we are not a good enough mum, or that services will remove our children can be really frightening. It sounds like you have been through an extremely traumatic time, so go gently with yourself as best you can - it's so understandable that you are experiencing anxiety and low mood after a really tough two years.
Feeling well-informed about bipolar disorder and the medication you might choose to take is really important. You might find the following pages from Postpartum Support International and MIND helpful.
Do keep in touch here, as myself and other volunteers with experience of PP and bipolar disorder are very willing to share our experiences and support you as you go through the assessment with your new psychiatrist.
Hello J. It is possible that rebound psychosis can occur when you withdraw from olanzapine. This might be what you’re experiencing. Is it mania or more like psychosis? Lithium withdrawal actually may also cause rebound mania - but it is more unusual. Anyway, long term use of lithium has quite a number of adverse effects, and you perhaps could speak to the psych people about changing to another medication
I just wanted to add here that I am sure the OP just like myself and many others on lithium are well monitored with regular blood tests and appointments, it is nearly years since my first episode of PP and 5 since my diagnosis of BP, I am monitored every 3 months to ensure levels are correct.
I am sure the use of lithium has been fully explained often the choice of a drug that primarily keeps you well is more important, these regular checks keep an eye on the rest of your body including liver function and thyroid.
Just to add to the post by Fatimahg - it is certainly worth asking if you can speak to a specialist pharmacist, I found this really helpful when considering my own treatment options for mood-stabilising medication.
Hi J, I’m sorry to hear you have been unwell. I had postpartum psychosis in 2010 but I wasn’t really treated for bipolar disorder until 2017. Since that time I have been much more stable and healthy. I take priadel (lithium) and have a blood test every 3 months. I was monitored under my local mental health team for a year 2017-18 which was reassuring and I know who to call if I feel unwell (GP/adult mental health team etc.) I now only take olanzapine very occasionally. I try to exercise regularly, rest and I sometimes use the Calm app to help with sleep or a boring podcast! Lockdown has been hard for the lack of me time but now the kids are going back to school I look forward to a hot cup of tea.
I’m really happy with how I feel on lithium and how I am better able to manage my moods and still feel emotions.
Wishing you the best.
M x
Hi, thanks for all your comments. I am still under the care of a psychiatrist and cpn. I have been reluctant to discuss my worries with them for fear of them wanting to increase my Olanzapine dose. While I can accept I need it I hate the way it makes me feel lifeless inside on a higher dose.
I am glad to hear you are being followed by a psychiatrist and a cpn at the moment. I would suggest to be frank with them about how you are feeling now because it can be a lot to manage it all by yourself. You should be able to give your input on medication to your team. Perhaps check out the link to the mind website that Naomi mentioned above and see what treatment is available?
Take care, I hope things get better soon, chat here whenever you want
such great advice from the APP members on Bipolar and signposting useful links.
I have had PPP in 2010 and was just in the recent past diagnosed with Bipolar1.
In order to get proper support I would agree with EmiMum. Try to express your feelings with relevant health professionals, so that a therapeutic path can be identified for your tailor made needs.
The BP spectrum is very diverse. I have cycling bipolar and can have a high and a low on the same day. It really helps to track and journalise your feelings and that could be extremely useful for supporting your case and needs for appropriate treatments.
This is just a brief list for my coping strategies:
1. It is not only a learning curve to familiarise yourself with having a chronical mental health condition, but coming to terms with the diagnosis consequently accepting, nor fighting nor ignoring.
2. I am curious and need to learn about further research development, especially with regards to therapeutic choices for coping mechanisms.
3. Like a lot of mums on this forum I try to keep a routine for my mental well being and practise yoga, reiki and meditation on various levels and types relevant for my mood swings.
4. Resources are plentiful to get motivated with alternative therapy, exercising or just enjoying nature and other hobbies
5. I use my creativity...painting, gardening and decorating
6. Keeping away from stressors such as managing limited time on social media, moderate intake of news and being surrounded by people who are not "toxic vampires" or "dark empath" , meaning I am very particular with the selection of individuals and friendships
Ok, I will leave it at this, please be honest about the way you feel. I bottled up everything for 5 long years until I found some marvellous mums on this forum. Authenticity and self reflection is part of feeling in tune within yourself for gaining strengths and vitality.
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, meaning I am very particular with the selection of individuals and friendships
Has anyone ever declined meds or only taken them for a short time?
My psychosis story which has continued but the meds are disabling me 
How long is normal for medication?
What does recovery feel like?
How long until you were off medications all together?
