Irrational beliefs: My daughter... - Action on Postpar...

Action on Postpartum Psychosis

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Irrational beliefs

Cloudykatie profile image
58 Replies

My daughter suffered ppp after the birth of her first child two months ago. Part of her psychosis was that I was somehow unsafe, and a danger to her and her daughter, very different from the loving and trusting relationship we had until she was taken ill. After five weeks at a MBU in a different city, and which I was not allowed to visit, she is discharged and continues to believe that I am a threat. I have respected her wishes, and not impinged in any way on her, either in the unit or at home, but her cold indifference is breaking my heart. It feels as if her psychotic beliefs have become lodged in her memory, and I just don’t know what to do for the best. Does anyone have any experience of this please? Since she has been ill, I have been sending small gifts, like hand knitted clothes for the baby, and short, inoffensive, supportive letters each week, but I am worried that I may be making things worse.

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Cloudykatie profile image
Cloudykatie
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58 Replies
Lilybeth profile image
LilybethVolunteer

Hello Cloudykatie

Thank you for reaching out to the forum where you will find support and empathy. I’m so sorry your daughter suffered PP and her beliefs prevent you from visiting her or seeing your grandchild.

I had PP many years ago and was eventually sectioned to general psychiatric care. During my psychosis I had a lot of strange thoughts and delusions. I shared some of my beliefs with family but wasn’t believed, so I retreated to my bedroom, which became my safe space.

It must be heartbreaking for you. Is it possible that you could speak to your daughter’s care team, to see if they can give you any advice and let them know how you feel? Although your daughter is home, she is still recovering from such a traumatic illness and perhaps in time she will realise how loving and caring you have always been?

I think it’s a good idea to keep communicating, if only by sending small gifts and letters, as she will know you are thinking of her and will be there when she’s ready. There is a resource “PP Soup” (a nourishing mix of all things Postpartum Psychosis) which you might find helpful at ppsoupdotcom.wordpress.com/. I hope you have support for yourself at such a difficult time. Take care.

Cloudykatie profile image
Cloudykatie in reply to Lilybeth

Dear LilybethThank you so much for your kind and empathetic response - I am blown away. I have felt very alone in this, and wish that I had found this forum sooner. I will definitely look up the PP soup, as that sounds helpful. I did try to reach out to my daughters care team in the MBU, but was politely rebuffed, which I suppose knocked my confidence. I think I will try again with the community team though. Her partner is quite sympathetic to me now, although during the early part of her illness, before she was diagnosed, I think that he thought there was no smoke without fire. He is in a difficult position, but I will try to find an opportune time to ask him for a contact.

Thank you again x

Lilybeth profile image
LilybethVolunteer in reply to Cloudykatie

Dear Cloudykatie

You are definitely not alone as we are all here to support you :) I remember what a relief it was for me when I found the forum, although I had long since recovered and wished I had found it sooner.

I hope the community team will be able to help in some way and your daughter’s partner will also be able to reassure your daughter that you only have her best interests at heart.

There are also PP Insider Guides, one of which is “Postpartum Psychosis : A guide for partners” at app-network.org/what-is-pp/... which might be helpful for her partner? Also on the page are personal experiences shared by mums who have been through the trauma of PP.

“PP Soup” at ppsopdotcom.wordpress was put together by a mum who had suffered PP with input from other mums and professionals.

Take care .... I’m sure In time all your lovely letters and gifts for your grandchild will be a treasured memory in your daughter’s recovery. x

Maria_at_APP profile image
Maria_at_APPModerator

Hi Cloudykatie,I am so sorry to hear your daughter suffered from pp 2 months ago, and that she has been indifferent to you as part of her illness. If I can reassure in some way, her delusions will be temporary, pp is a very recoverable illness, and its possible to come back to the person you used to be. Two months is early days for recovery still; I had pp 2 years ago and was discharged from the mbu after 2.5 months, when my daughter was 3 months old, recovery was very much ongoing still for me, and even though I was functional in my every day life to be able to go to work some months after, I didn't feel truly myself until my medication was dropped to a minimal dose, when my little one was 1 year old.

I am sorry, can't imagine how heartbreaking this must be, but as Lilybeth says, don't stop letting your daughter know that you are there for her, small gifts, calling her husband to see how she is doing or if there is anyting they may need, a baby is so demanding and he is on night feeding duty to allow your daughter to sleep uninterrupted. Try and be there for them both.

I hope the perinatal community team is open to your concerns and can offer some practical advice.

Take good care and also look after yourself during these very trying times.

Ellie_at_APP profile image
Ellie_at_APPPartner

Hi Cloudykatie

I'm really sorry to hear your daughter has PP and the thoughts she has had towards you. You must be going through such a difficult and traumatic time. It's really great you've found us, and have reached out for support. I had postpartum psychosis after the birth of my son in 2011.

I don't think I have anything to add, from what other people have written. I thought too that perhaps you could reach out to her mental health team.

They will be in a difficult position as they need to be lead by your daughter, and will have to keep her confidence, and so probably won't be able to tell you anything about how she is etc, but they could maybe talk through with you generally about the illness, and maybe you could ask them what they suggest you do in terms of contact with her and what they think would help. It sounds like you've been doing the right thing though - letting her know in a non threatening way that you are there for her, if she wants to get in touch, but not putting much pressure on her.

Do you have support around you, friends and family? Perhaps also you could go to your GP and request some counselling? Or if you can afford to pay privately you could find your own counsellor? You are dealing with such a difficult situation.

The article of PPsoup (that Lilybeth wisely suggested), that could be most helpful to read is 'what to say to someone with postpartum psychosis' ppsoupdotcom.wordpress.com/...

Take care Cloudykatie, and know that you can write here anytime for support

Ellie

Sillywhabbit profile image
Sillywhabbit

Hi there

I’m so sorry that your daughter and you are going through this. As others have said, you are not alone, and there is support out there for you, as well as your daughter.

I had PP in 2018, and had hallucinations and delusions. Similar to your daughter, I had persistent negative delusions about my husband and in-laws. These beliefs are very strong - and feel so real to you at the time. It took a long time to fade entirely - it was a year before I truly had insight and took even longer before I felt ‘back to normal’.

People recover at different paces, but I’m just trying to reassure you that you’re not alone, and these things can take time to resolve. The experience was very traumatic for my husband, and I can imagine it must be very difficult for you too. I feel so grateful that my husband stood by me and supported me, despite my delusions, and the hurt they caused him, and I feel sure that with time your daughter will come to understand and appreciate all your support too.

Persistent kindness and patience is probably the best approach, which it sounds like you are already doing.

Your daughter will get better with time! I agree with others that it may be a good idea to get some counselling for yourself too if that is an option.

Take care, and sending a virtual hug,

Ellie x

NanaJudith_APP_Vol profile image
NanaJudith_APP_VolVolunteer

Dear Cloudykatie,I am so very sorry that your daughter has been suffering with Postpartum Psychosis.. I am so glad that you have found APP, they were of such help to

me when my daughter out of the blue suffered with this terrible illness after the birth of her first child.. My daughter did get well after a stay in an MBU your daughter can get well too.. You have had some brilliant replies from the brave mums willing to share their experiences and pointers to excellent resources. I have little really to add save to say that I so fully understand how you feel and it must be especially difficult for you in these covid days.. This is such a shock and trauma for you too, difficult to see a much beloved daughter suffer in such a way, I felt helpless and my daughter didn't always want me around either but that is part of the illness.. As my daughter recovered she said how much it had meant that she had had the support of her husband and family around her.. So really as others have said keep on doing what you are doing quietly, gently, kindly supporting in the back ground for now and if you are able to get any direction from your daughter's mental health team so much the better. Do take care of yourself too the worry I know is exhausting.

Thinking of you do write here anytime if it helps.. APP also have one to one volunteers if that would be of any help to you.

Congratulations on your new grandchild.

Thinking of you.

Love and virtual Hug from one Granny to Another.

Judith xx

Cloudykatie profile image
Cloudykatie

I am just overwhelmed by the kindness and wisdom I have received in these lovely and supportive replies - thank you all so much! Just now I am knitting a nativity set that I will send to my daughter one piece at a time. Just now I am stuffing a sheep 🙂Each stitch is a kind and loving thought or prayer for the restoration of families afflicted by this horrible illness.

Love to you all xx

Ellie_at_APP profile image
Ellie_at_APPPartner in reply to Cloudykatie

Ah cloudy katie that’s beautiful. And how lovely that you’re knitting a nativity set...

Advent is quite a big thing in my house with my son. Our friends are sending a bit of a nativity set each day too to build the stable. We’re enjoying it so much !

Thinking of you and your family. I’m so glad that it’s helped to write here. Never hesitate to write or ask anything.

Ellie x

NanaJudith_APP_Vol profile image
NanaJudith_APP_VolVolunteer

Dear Cloudykatie,just to say thinking of you and your daughter.. Hoping that things are slowly, slowly improving, healing health and relationships.. Difficult as I know it is, for her and you, time and patience and your daughter can be well again from this awful illness PP. She may well be exhausted, confidence low but what you are doing, quietly, loving and caring in the background is, I think, a good thing..

Take care of yourself too.

With love

Judith xx

mikefff profile image
mikefff

Hi I have similar with my wife when she's ill, when the meds are correct the normal personality returns. Reassure yourself that you know your normal daughter, this change is due to illness. Hope things improve soon.

Hi, I am so sorry you and your family are experiencing this. Hopefully in time things will improve, keep doing what your doing. Sadly I can relate to how your daughter is feeling. I was diagnosed with postpartum psychosis in early 2019 after the birth of my son in Oct 2018. I put my family through a similar experience to yours. I was irrationally terrified my husband was going to hurt me and that he didn’t love me and shut him out my life completely. Only after 6 weeks in a mother and baby unit with my son did I let him take his son out for an hour. Thankfully we are now back as a family so I guess I just want to say give it time and things will get better. Take care x

Lilybeth profile image
LilybethVolunteer

Hello Cloudykatie

How have you been? I hope your daughter is slowly recovering and there is a hope that she sees you as the loving mother you have always been.

I’m sure your knitted nativity set is a wonderful sight and I hope it’s not too long before you can hug your daughter and nurse your grandchild, which is part of the magic of Christmas. Thinking of you .... take care xx

Cloudykatie profile image
Cloudykatie in reply to Lilybeth

Thank you for checking in with me, Lilybeth. Things are improving slowly. We have spoken a couple of times on the phone, but I feel a bit like a slightly annoying neighbour that you have to be polite to. I am still hopeful and just hunkering down for a quiet Christmas with hopes for a better 2021. Happy Christmas to you and yours.

Lilybeth profile image
LilybethVolunteer in reply to Cloudykatie

Hello Cloudykatie

Thanks for taking time to reply. It’s good that things are improving, albeit slowly but you have spoken on the phone. In my early weeks and months of recovery I wasn’t very good at communicating and suspicious of everyone. It must have been like walking on eggshells for my family!

Slowly and with time your daughter will be more open, to perhaps a video call with you? At the moment she is probably struggling with her thoughts but will eventually emerge and be thankful that you were always there for her. Were you able to ask the perinatal team for advice as they should be able to offer support until baby is one year?

I hope you can enjoy Christmas and look forward to 2021 as the year you will once again be able to hug your daughter and cradle your grandchild.

Thank you for your good wishes ...... be kind to yourself.

Cloudykatie profile image
Cloudykatie in reply to Lilybeth

Slowly, slowly. A month ago I would have been delighted with even a polite and reserved phone call, so I am trying to keep it in perspective. The perinatal team were kind and sympathetic, but not able to offer any specific guidance. My daughter is spending Christmas with her in laws, who are lovely, so at least I have the comfort that she has support and family around her at this time. I am choosing to believe that next year will bring fairer weather for us all x

Lilybeth profile image
LilybethVolunteer in reply to Cloudykatie

Hello Cloudykatie

It is very much a case of being patient, as you have been. Your daughter will hopefully be more willing to rekindle your relationship as she slowly recovers. The bond is still there and will surface but for now, unfortunately, it’s a waiting game.

Have you spoken to your daughter’s in-laws about the difficulty between you at the moment? Perhaps they could talk to your daughter as it must be heartbreaking for you. Or as you mentioned earlier, as her partner is quite sympathetic to you now, he might be able to find a way forward.

I hope 2021 will be brighter ...... take care x

Toto2345 profile image
Toto2345

I had pp a few months ago. I also somehow thought my mom was not safe and accused of things. .....Good news is, we are back on good terms and it's wonderful to have her support as l continue to fully heal.

Lilybeth profile image
LilybethVolunteer in reply to Toto2345

Hello Toto2345

I’m so sorry you had PP a few months ago ... belated congratulations on the birth of your baby.

It is good news as you say that you now have your mom’s support as you continue to heal. I hope the shared experiences and resources, for example, the PP InsiderGuides at pp-network.org/what-is-pp/a... will be helpful in your recovery. We are all here to lean on .... take care.

Cloudykatie profile image
Cloudykatie in reply to Toto2345

I am so sorry that you experienced PP. it must have been very frightening. Thank you for reaching out with that reassurance. It must be a great comfort to both you and your Mum to have your relationship restored. I hope you both enjoy that lovely baby of yours.

Buttercup12345 profile image
Buttercup12345 in reply to Toto2345

Well done sweet heart we are all rooting for you. I have been there it's tough but it does get better. lots of love to you and the family xx

NanaJudith_APP_Vol profile image
NanaJudith_APP_VolVolunteer

Hello Cloudykatie,I hope that there are signs of improvement for your daughter and that your

lovely idea of the knitted Nativity was well received. Take care of yourself. Wishing you and family a peaceful Christmas and a happy, healthy new year.

Love and a hug

Judith x

Arabella- profile image
Arabella-

Oh how upsetting for you. So sorry to hear that. I hope she gets better soon and you can see your grandchild soon. Merry Christmas xx

Buttercup12345 profile image
Buttercup12345

Hi

Reading your message makes me want too give you a big hug on behalf of your daughter and say it's ok mum I love you but I'm just not very well right now we will reconnect again soon when I get out of this. I had PP in 2016 Dec the hardest thing I have ever been through and thank god I am finally back to my wonderful self. My mum said recently she is so relieved how good I sound recently and that it is a big relief to her. It's taken me a long time but I got there and your daughter will too. Recovery takes different amounts of time and it comes in stages I keep saying oh good I am recovered then more would come. To be honest I feel that it is only this year I have made a full recovery after lots of hard work with therapy and other things. I wasn't nice to my mum at the start who I love dearly and it's a shock that I was like that but I have too keep saying to myself I wasn't well. Your daughter may feel guilty when she comes out of it you just need to love her and tell her it's ok she wasn't well. I really feel for you as you sound like such a caring mother she is very lucky to have you. Make sure you look after yourself reach out as this is going to take time. I had lots of gifts from different people was such a nice touch but to be honest I was so out of the game I didn't even notice them, but some I did and cherished. It's only recently that I have been reading through the get well soon cards I got I am so loved it's amazing the people that have stood by me through this challenging time in my life. Feel free to chat with me any time happy to share more insights. Much love to you keep going you can do this your daughter loves you even thought it may not seen it. Heres to a better 2021 xxx

Cloudykatie profile image
Cloudykatie in reply to Buttercup12345

Thank you Esther, and well-done on sticking with your recovery. I had a family video chat on Christmas afternoon with my daughter and other two grown up children and their partners. While I was glad to have done it, as I was able to see my granddaughter for the first time since the break-down two months ago, I also found it incredibly difficult and upsetting. My daughter is clearly still unwell, and the difference in her approach to me and her dad, and her siblings was very marked. As you say, it will take time, and I am in it for the long haul, but each knock back hurts, and each one takes time to recover from. I have a supportive family, and I will just have to pace myself so that it doesn’t become overwhelming again.

I hope you had a wonderful Christmas with your little one - four is such a great age to enjoy all things Christmas. X

Buttercup12345 profile image
Buttercup12345 in reply to Cloudykatie

Thank you. I too have a very supportive family and lovely siblings it made all the difference it's such a shame you can't be there in person at this time. My PP happened 4 weeks after birth was in an acute mental health hospital for 10days then mother and baby unit for one month that was amazing they really looked after me. Unfortunately I hated the medication and took my self off it them a major relapse happened another two months in hospital crazy behaviour couldn't see my daughter during that time. It must be so hard for you think it will feel better when you're able to get physically closer to her and give practical help which she will really need. Theres a service called home start they where so amazing and really helped me 3 hours a week hands on help. Just remember that your daughter is still inside there and is will emerge again. I work in the NHS and have had experience of working in mental health I do think this helped me forgive myself for what had happened. My hope is to help families like yours to get through times like these. Time to give back. Wow it is stunning outside off to the river with my little girl. your right 4yr is gorgeous age love her so much. Hugs to you and your amazing family xx

NanaJudith_APP_Vol profile image
NanaJudith_APP_VolVolunteer

Dear Cloudykatie, All strength to you Cloudykatie, so glad you have supportive family.

Love and hugs

Judith

JAnuaryX profile image
JAnuaryX

She’s gone into over protective mode. Try not to take it personally though I understand your pain it’s causing.

Try saying things like- I can’t imagine what your going through all I need you to know is I’m still me and I’m here for you. I love you and if you listen to your heart rather then your mind you’ll understand.

You’ll have to be patient as she’s still clearly not herself yet.

Things WILL get better x

Is she still in the psychosis or more delusional thoughts ?

Sending love

Jan

Cloudykatie profile image
Cloudykatie in reply to JAnuaryX

Very helpful words, thank you. My daughter was discharged from MBU a couple of weeks ago, so the acute psychosis has passed. The delusional beliefs about me still remain. I worry because I hear that her meds have been reduced, and that perhaps this irrational belief is not visible to her support team. She is bright, articulate, and exceptionally plausible, all of which meant that her original diagnosis was delayed. I hear that her illness is completely recoverable, but fear that this aspect may be invisible, and therefore not addressed. I am trying to be grownup about it, but a part of me would just like to have a magic wand to make everything go back to normal!

JAnuaryX profile image
JAnuaryX in reply to Cloudykatie

She may be trying to hide her illness and thoughts , something you should discuss with her team a concern- you could even bring it up with her and ask how she’s really feeling and not to be afraid to say her truth that the doctors are there to help her; you don’t want her to feel your betraying her this could make her feel worse against you ( I remember playing the doctors that I felt better, as I didn’t trust them when I was in my delusional state)

I think it may be too soon to reduce her meds.

I will add , prepare for the depression as she comes down from her psychosis : for me this was the hardest part and again it does pass just takes time.

Your in the early stages with your daughter still.

Does she live with her partner ? Any other children?

X

Buttercup12345 profile image
Buttercup12345 in reply to Cloudykatie

Gosh this sounds so familiar to me. I was in total denial about my illness and was so good at masking it not to be benefit may I add!!! I worked in mental health so new the illness inside out and all the symptoms and new what to say to the health care professionals including the psychiatrist. I was soooooo stubborn "I do not need medication I am fine" I think I was sacred of loosing control I did not want to loose control. And part of me thought I help people with mental illness I do not experience it myself felt confusing to be on the other side but of course mental illness can affect anyone. I am grateful for my family and partner being able to challenging me even though I didn't like it at the time. Do not collude with the delusion or the irrational thoughts it's an art to be able to keep the trust going whilst not feeding into the unhelpful thoughts. There were times my mum was completely switched on to me but the professionals couldn't see what was happening due to being similar to your daughter smart, bright and pulling the wool over there eyes. It feels so heartwarming to be able share this stuff I do hope it is helpful anything that helps you and your daughter thought this very challenging time.

Buttercup12345 profile image
Buttercup12345

Lovely feedback from January X and I agree with her she needs to be very careful about coming off or cutting down on meds too quickly.

Cloudykatie profile image
Cloudykatie

Thank you Esther and January X. I would love to be able to contribute to my daughter’s care, but the delusion that I am unsafe has excluded me from that process from the outset. I knew she was seriously ill days before anyone else, and had to be the one to blow the whistle for everyone else. Fortunately, this meant that she got the help she needed. Unfortunately, in spite of gently probing twice, I am completely excluded from her care. I feel invisible. When I have called her care team, they were kind and gentle with me, but utterly unable to allow me anywhere near her care. I completely understand that my daughter’s care has be be centred around her, but feel frustrated that, as the person who knows her best, none of the therapeutic teams has thought to triangulate with me. There is no way for me to comment on anything, not least her medication. I don’t want any information from them about her care, just to contribute my perspective.

JAnuaryX profile image
JAnuaryX in reply to Cloudykatie

Wow . I really don’t understand this. They shouldn’t be cutting you out I get that they can’t disclose her information to you but like you say.. your input on you view of your daughter will be very insightful towards her care.

If I were you I would try again to express this to them what you have just written here.

Or write a email to the psychiatrist In Charge.

You should definitely be heard x

Revans86 profile image
Revans86Volunteer in reply to Cloudykatie

Hi Cloudykatie,

I’m so sorry that you’re in this position watching on as your daughter has been so poorly. It’s a truly horrific illness, for everyone, the whole family, not just the one who is experiencing it.

I had PP in 2016, and was very fortunate that my delusions didn’t include my family. So they were able to support with my care pretty much throughout.

So sorry that in spite of you trying to connect with your daughter and health professionals, that the latter are just keeping your daughter’s confidence, which they have to do. But I’m so so sorry this means you’re on the edges, when you most probably have a lot to offer into her care.

I wonder if letters are the most appropriate way forward. Write the same letter maybe to her husband and health team - expressing your concerns. Then perhaps the health team will discuss with her husband if you make it clear you’re raising it with both parties.

I remember being so keen to come off medication, as whilst it helped clearly massively, it did come with its own side effects - indescribable sedation being one. I wonder if that’s why your daughter is coming off the medication, and perhaps is concealing her beliefs as you describe. For fear of feeling that way forever.

Take comfort that she can get better. Time, that’s what it will take. Medication, patience, counselling maybe and a huge dollop of love, support and kindness from all those around her. Try not to lose heart. And take great care of yourself too.

Xxx

Maria_at_APP profile image
Maria_at_APPModerator

Hi Cloudykatie,

I am so sorry your daughter's relationship with her parents and siblings is still not what it used to be. But as you say above, a polite phone call was some ways away a month ago, and even though the small steps are not quite taking off the sting yet, the important thing is that there is progress being made.

I wondered if down the line, family therapy may be something you and your daughter could be open to trying, you could perhaps suggest it to her team?

I remember when I was unwell, I honestly felt rage towards my nearest and dearest and I saw them as contributors to my condition. It takes a lot of effort to separate the illness from the person you love and care for, and you have done so amazingly, always there for your daughter and letting her know that your love is there waiting for when she comes back.

Look after yourself too, pick up things you enjoy doing and surround yourself with supportive friends and family on which you can confide.

Wishing you a happy new year, take good care

Lilybeth profile image
LilybethVolunteer

Hello Cloudykatie

I’m so sorry you feel excluded from your daughter’s care which must be heartbreaking for you. I notice you have been politely listened to by her care team but I imagine they have to respect your daughter’s wishes, for now at least, until she remembers how loving you always were.

I wonder if PALS (Patient Advisory Liaison Service) which is usually located in the hospital (not sure about MBUs) would be a contact to explore? They provide a point of contact, offering confidential support to patients and their families.

Time is a great healer ..... on the positive side your daughter is doing her best to be well and you will eventually be as you were before she was struck by PP. Be kind to yourself.

NanaJudith_APP_Vol profile image
NanaJudith_APP_VolVolunteer

Dear Cloudykatie,I can hear your pain, frustration and sadness in what you write. I know how

difficult it must be to feel excluded but I think you are doing a good job, quietly, loving and caring for your daughter in the background. You have also had some great suggestions from other posts. Try to take comfort for now in the love and support of the rest of your family. Your daughter will be working hard to get better from this cruel illness and be restored to herself and you.

With a hug

Judith

Pikorua profile image
PikoruaVolunteer

Hello Cloudykatie,

I wonder whether I can give you some reassurance from a different angle.

You are a wonderful mum, who wants to care for her daughter. Deep down I believe she will open up eventually. In my opinion words come into my mind such as being none judgmental, knowing the time will come, all in stepping stones, and patience, no comparison.

All you can offer is your unconditional love. This is what I have received from my partner and soul mate. I was crying for my mum, she came for 2 days and could not face our suffering, my inner psychotic pain and the hospital. My support network was not my family, but my partner and his mum and dad.

I have no anger nor resentment...my mum is in total denial, her coping strategy. Even nowadays - I have bipolar. I do not feel sad, but wish that my partner could have had the support of my parents.

Thus, I would like to applaud your efforts, keep encouraged in trying to connect and not to give up or just let go. Perhaps I ought to mention that with a psychotic mind I have seen loads of other faces in my partner, trauma, re-call of my life history and my actions never reflected the person I was before PPP.

Wishing you well, take care of yourself.

x

Lilybeth profile image
LilybethVolunteer

Hello Cloudykatie

I hope communication with your daughter is continuing to improve. It must be stressful for you. Try to look forward to all the happy times you will have with her and your precious grandchild when she fully recovers. Thinking of you.

Lilybeth profile image
LilybethVolunteer

Hello Cloudykatie

Thinking of you and wonder how you are? I hope you have been able to keep the communication channel open with your daughter, even with just a loving note so she knows you are there, waiting in the wings. Stay safe.

Cloudykatie profile image
Cloudykatie in reply to Lilybeth

Hi LilybethSlow but steady progress I think. I am still sending kind handmade gifts with little notes. I am sometimes getting one line responses by text too, so I sometimes know my parcel has arrived. It is going to be a long road, but I am in it for the marathon anyway. Now we are all locked down for the foreseeable, it has stopped me thinking I should be doing more to reach out, which has probably been helpful.

Thank you for keeping me in mind. Thus forum is a comfort and a life-saver 💕

Lilybeth profile image
LilybethVolunteer

Hi Cloudykatie

Thanks for taking time to reply. Slow but steady progress sounds promising and your handmade gifts and notes must be so welcome during these uncertain times. I’m glad in some way that lockdown has stopped you feeling anxious that you should be doing more.

Mums have an unbreakable bond with their children. Hopefully as your daughter continues to recover you will be welcomed to be with her and your precious grandaughter.

I’m glad the forum is a comfort ..... we are all here to lean on 💜 Stay safe and be kind to yourself.

Lilybeth profile image
LilybethVolunteer

Hello Cloudykatie

A few weeks on and just wondering how you are? I hope your daughter is taking small steps towards recovery and interacting a bit more, albeit by text messages. You are doing all you can in the circumstances and I’m sure your daughter appreciates all your kind gifts. Sometimes medication can hold us back from being more expressive but hold on to hope.

I don’t know whether you might include some comments from mums in the “PP Soup” blog at ppsoupdotcom.wordpress.com, for example “What to say to someone with Postpartum Psychosis”. Just a thought for some of your kind notes 💕 Remember to take care of yourself too.

Cloudykatie profile image
Cloudykatie

Thank you, Lilybeth. My daughter is improving slowly, and we have managed to progress to a short video call too. The baby is just beautiful, and so grown up. I am so grateful for the support I have received from this group - I was so desperate and without hope back in October. Now I have real hope that we will be restored. I will go over to ppsoup and see if there is anything that I can contribute. 🙂

Lilybeth profile image
LilybethVolunteer

Hello Cloudykatie

So lovely to read that your daughter is slowly improving and you were able to share a video call. Seeing your precious grandchild must have been very emotional too. It must be such a relief that you can now see signs of hope and happier times on the horizon after waiting so patiently. :)

I hope your daughter continues to slowly improve. I’m sure in time your loving bond for each other will be as it always was. So happy for you .... we are always here. Take care.

Lilybeth profile image
LilybethVolunteer

Hello Cloudykatie

Thinking of you and hope your daughter is continuing to slowly improve with your loving support from a distance at the moment. Stay safe.

Cloudykatie profile image
Cloudykatie

Thank you for keeping an eye on me, Lilybeth. Things a still improving slowly. I am just holding my breath for when lockdown eases and we might be able to meet up x

Lilybeth profile image
LilybethVolunteer

Thanks so much for taking time out to reply, Cloudykatie :) Good to hear things are still slowly improving. Hopefully one fine day .... wouldn’t it be lovely for you to meet up .... but for now be kind to yourself and stay safe x

Lilybeth profile image
LilybethVolunteer

Hello Cloudykatie

Just wondering if you have been able to meet up with your daughter now that lockdown has eased slightly? If not, hold on to that notion of one fine day being not too far away. I hope you are well ..... take care x

Cloudykatie profile image
Cloudykatie in reply to Lilybeth

Thank you Lilybeth. I had been due to visit this week but my own ongoing health problem meant I was too poorly to travel. We will try again next week. In the meantime, things continue to improve for my lovely daughter and her lovely daughter x

Lilybeth profile image
LilybethVolunteer

Hello Cloudykatie

Thanks for taking time to reply ..... so sorry to hear you have been too poorly to travel lately. Such good news that things continue to improve for your treasured daughter and grandaughter. Try to rest as much as you can. Take care x

Pikorua profile image
PikoruaVolunteer

Hello Cloudykatie,

I wrote a while back; I am sorry you are struggling with your health. Times are not easy at the moment and people are desperate to see their loved ones. Life style certainly has changed with this Pandemic.

However, life events such as PPP is traumatising and the additional restrictions due to Covid does not help.

In addition it is often not easy to find appropriate words to rekindle a relationship. Thus, you can be really proud of yourself to create a bridge in stepping stones.

It can be such an emotional roller coaster!

Yes, take good care of yourself, I have no doubt that in time your relationship will find that special bond again.

Happy Easter x

Maria_at_APP profile image
Maria_at_APPModerator

Hi Cloudykatie,

I am sorry to hear that your health has recently prevented you from visiting your daughter and granddaughter. I hope you feel better soon and that your visit can materialise next week.

From the tone of your reply it sounds like your relationship with your daughter has improved so much since you first post. Can't say how proud I am of you for hanging in there at a time that is so so difficult, with your incredible love and patience things have finally turned around.

All the very best on your reunion with her and her daughter, I am sure it will be a very emotional and memorable occasion.

Take good care

Lilybeth profile image
LilybethVolunteer

Hello Cloudykatie

I hope you are feeling a bit better and perhaps have felt well enough to visit your daughter and treasured grandaughter. Thinking of you .... take care. x

Cloudykatie profile image
Cloudykatie in reply to Lilybeth

Dear Lilybeth, I am delighted to be able to write that I am spending this weekend at my daughter’s home, doing all the Mum things and having all the granny cuddles. My health is improving (I seem to be lucky enough to be in the long Covid group who experiences an improvement from their vaccination once the side effects subside).

I am so very grateful for the support and thoughtfulness of this group.

Cloudykatie

Lilybeth profile image
LilybethVolunteer

Dear Cloudykatie, Such wonderful news 😊 and such precious memories .... granny cuddles are priceless! I’m so glad your health is improving as you have battled to be well for weekends like this to treasure.

We are always here to lean on. Take care.

Lilybeth profile image
LilybethVolunteer

Hello Cloudykatie

Thinking of you and hope you have been able to have more time at your daughter’s home with more priceless granny cuddles. I hope your health continues to improve. Take care.

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