For about 6 weeks now I've been really down, crying most of the day, being low and just generally not doing anything other than sitting in the living room. My baby is 6 months old and I've got a son of 7. I never felt this way with my first born. Pretty much every day I feel like I'm not doing a good job, that I probably shouldn't of had my 2nd child as now I feel like I can't give him the love and attention he needs because of how I'm feeling. I've had intrusive thoughts where bad things happen to my baby. I've even thought they'd be better off without me.
I've tried speaking to my husband about it but I feel like it doesn't sink in. I have been on anti depressants before but this feels different. I don't know if I'm over thinking it or if I genuinely need some help. So I thought I'd ask for some opinions first. Thank you.
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Bee64
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I am sorry to hear you are feeling this way at the moment. I am no health professional and can only talk from lived in experience. I had ppp after the birth of my daughter 2 years ago and I had no previous history of mental illness, it came very much out of the blue. I think that having not experienced something similar before delayed us in seeking help, we were wondering is this the usual hormones or is this something else.
I think an honest consultation with your gp can be very helpful at this point. It can be difficult to tak that first step, and also you may not feel like saying some thoughts out loud. But please bear in mind a mental illness is as much out of your own control as any physical ailment. There is nothing to feel shame about, you are being brave by reaching out and seeking help.
And also, it may not feel like this right now, but you will get better, with the right help and support you will be back to yourself.
I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way and thank you for reaching out here, I know it’s not easy.
I would speak to your GP or health visitor, perhaps keep a note of your mood through the day to help you describe how you’re feeling, any thoughts you’re having and how it’s affecting you?
Like EmiMum, I had PP out of the blue after my first child and we had no idea whether what I was experiencing was ‘normal’. It didn’t feel like it could be but we had nothing to compare it to, by the time we sought help I was clearly quite unwell.
I’m sure it’s very normal to have days of feeling low but I would encourage you to seek help and talk it through with a health professional, 6 weeks is a long time.
There’s also a lot of support available online, which might be helpful to have a look at and perhaps share with your husband.
Take good care. There’s support out there and you’re not alone.
Best wishes,
Jenny x
It’s ok to ask for help. It’s ok to get support when you need it. It must be so hard to have a tiny baby in lockdown. GP is where to start and they have information about local support groups. Get the support you need so you can keep going. 🙂
Hello. Hopefully you’ve managed to access some help this week, or set things in motion.
It seems pretty clear to me that if you shared with your GP what you posted a few days ago, you should get some help, in whatever form.
You’re not alone, lots and lots of people suffer from persistent low mood and, then they recover and get back to their usual selves. Especially if they can get some help and support.
But if by any chance your GP is unsympathetic, do keep on, maybe get your partner or you mum to share the phone call. Sometimes GPs say things like, ‘of course you’re tired, you’ve got three children and you work full time’. So sometimes you need to be assertive, when you’re feeling at your least assertive. 😐
Healing and recovery is sometimes so very difficult. In my first year my partner and I suffered so much as I was sectioned to a mixed gender psychiatric unit. In the first year my brain pretty much shut off and I do not remember much.
The hospital was a terrible experience, but once out of that place and back in my own environment recovery truly begun. Communication, Love and Kindness from my partner and being in my own safe space was my saviour!
As mentioned by others it is very useful to have a support network available. I was with a Spanish Psychiatrist, who helped me to wean off medication gradually as I was on some very strong traditional and addictive drugs. However, they helped me to get out of the psychotic stage!
My gratitude goes out to many, but specifically my partner, a fabulous GP and a care coordinator, who stayed with me for 8 years. I did not know that I suffered with BP1 till the end of 2018.
I guess I just want to highlight that it really helps to reach out for help. My GP and care coordinator at the time linked me to courses, therapies and information throughout the years in order to balance my mental health.
You are doing so well in trying to express your feelings and ask for support and help. I did not find APP till 6 yrs. after my PPP, but I felt that my "footprints" (personal experience) were understood compassionately for the very first time.
Remember you are not on your own. Sending you love and kindness.
Welcome to the forum. I’m sorry you are feeling so low and have been having intrusive thoughts at times but hope the replies and links have been helpful.
Please reach out for support to your GP. It must be very hard for you at the moment being overwhelmed by your negative thoughts and feelings? Are there other family members who you might be able to talk to? It’s important to keep talking if you can so that your thoughts are not building up in your head.
I hope the replies here were helpful when you posted a few months ago. Were you able to open up to your GP about feeling low and negative thoughts you had? Thinking of you ... take care.
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