How to deal with negative family members?

[Kokoraki]

I've just let my close family know that my partner and I are about to start IVF and that I've stopped taking my mood stabiliser (but am staying on my antipsychotic), and Ive had some really negative comments from my mum and brother about whether it's sensible to even have a baby given my bipolar disorder and the likelihood of getting unwell. I'm feeling really discouraged and we haven't even fallen pregnant yet! Did anybody else have sceptical families and what were you able to say to reassure them?

[Sally_at_APP Administrator]

Hello Kokoraki,

Thank-you for your post and I hope all goes well with the IVF. It must have been hard to hear those negative comments from your mum and brother. Maybe they are worried for you, but it is hard that the comments have come across more negative. I do not have experience of bipolar, but I did have PP 5 years ago and if we had decided to have more children, I know my family and close friends would probably have worried a lot about me getting ill again.

It might be an idea to have a conversation with them about the care planning that will be in place for you. You could show them the insider guides we have to reassure them that there are things that can be planned for and that women with bipolar or a previous PP do go on to have children (app-network.org/wp-content/... (app-network.org/wp-content/....

I am sure ladies on this forum have more specific experience of telling family in similar situations, so I ill leave them to post here.

Just to know that I am thinking of you and I hope you are ok,

Sally x

[Bluelady-sing]

You have a right to family life shouldn't they be pleased about having new family

[Csanderson Volunteer]

Hello, I’m so sorry to hear about the negative comments from your family. I had psychosis before I was pregnant and so I got similar reactions when talking about having a baby. It too upset me and made me think twice but I decided at the end of the day it’s my life, having a baby is something that meant so much to me and so it was definitely worth the fight.

Yes it’s true that you might get ill again but it won’t be permanent. If unfortunately you do get ill again, just remember it’s not forever. You will get well and you will have years and years of good time with your beautiful children .

Stay strong! You can get through this x