A poem

[Jenny_at_APP]

Hi all,

I came across a poem I wrote 5 years ago and thought I’d share it here.

Love to you all, Jenny x

Tick Tock

Tick tock, tick tock

There’s no going back, our lives are changed forever.

We’re three, he’s ours, I’m happy.

Tick tock, tick tock

This is hard, relentless, it’s down to me.

I’m anxious, I’m tired, keep going.

Tick tock, tick tock

“It gets easier”, “This is normal”.

Really? I can’t sleep, I need sleep.

Tick tock, tick tock

So anxious. This isn’t right.

It must be. Help. No, I’m fine.

Tick tock, tick tock

This is it. This is motherhood.

It’s a test. I can’t do this. I’m failing.

Tick tock, tick tock

Exhaustion. Confusion. I can’t think.

The cycle begins. Nothing makes sense, I’m broken.

I’m lost. I’ve fallen in a black hole.

There’s no time here, just my own racing, confused thoughts.

Down I go, behind a thick fog, drifting to the surface then plunging back down ever deeper.

Everything means something

But nothing makes sense.

I’m creator of this lost word. But I have no control. I can’t make it stop.

Language, colour, letters, numbers,

All meaning is spiralling in abstract.

Who am I? Where am I? Who are you?

I’m the bringer of life yet this is surely death.

Tick tock, tick tock

I control time now. I’m Mother Earth.

Time has been reset.

Forwards, backwards, pausing, racing. Always stuck on ‘T’.

Toby. My Toby.

He anchors me somehow.

In the Groundhog Day I’m living, do it for him.

Tick tock, tick tock

Slowly the fog lifts, slowly more clarity, more certainty, less suspicion.

I find my voice again. I start to see the world again.

It’s time to re-enter it, time to start living.

[Anna_10]

This is such a true poem. Thank you for sharing. It really makes you realise what a dark and scary time we've all been through xx But there is light at the end of the tunnel xx

[Jp32]

Absolutely true. Thank you so much for sharing. Hugs Mama

[HelenMW Volunteer]

Brilliant! Almost a summary of my own experience 32 years ago. Thanks for sharing. We know we are not alone in this! Helen x

[Maria_at_APP Moderator]

Hi Jenny,

Thank you so much for sharing this, it is very poignant and very true.

[Sally_at_APP Administrator]

Thank-you for sharing Jenny,

Very true and captures it all perfectly,

Sally x

[Vee82]

Hi Jenny,

Wow, what a powerful and poignant poem which I’m sure we all can relate to at some level. Although my brush with PP was 38 years ago, your words still resonate.

The exhaustion, racing confused thoughts, the helpless feeling, loss of control, spiralling downwards into the void. I love the wonderful optimistic ending as the ‘fog lifts’ and we tentatively emerge from our private hell and are able to re-engage with the world and ‘ start living’. Thank you for sharing Jenny. My very best wishes to you all. Vee xx