Bad mood: Hi sorry for the miserable... - Action on Postpar...

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Bad mood

Bumblebeeee
Bumblebeeee

Hi sorry for the miserable post. I’m just having a bad day. My husband has gone into work again today. He’s self employed so can take time off when he wants. I’m just feeling fed up. I’m finding it really hard to look after the kids on my own but all he seems to care about is going to work. Then moaning at me that I don’t act like a ‘normal person’ and don’t moan at him for going to work like ‘normal people do ‘. Sorry for the moan i Jusr feel so alone at mo. The kids are so stressful. Yesterday I just stayed in my pjs all day. I need the routine of getting up and going out. It’s ok when they are at school because I’m up and out then come home and sort myself out. But days like this I just don’t bother getting dressed. The house gets such a mess coz they just play and leave everything everywhere. Sorry for being so miserable I just needed to vent with people who might understand. I just wanted a nice Xmas but I Just feel like I’m so fed up and not gonna be able to enjoy it now

6 Replies
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Jenny_at_APP
Jenny_at_APPAdministrator

Hi Bumblebeeee

Sorry you’re feeling fed up today. It can be such a difficult time with all the expectations and pressure it can bring.

Don’t worry about the mess, if the kids are playing they’re having fun :)

Could you plan a trip out later, even if just for a quick walk around the block? I’m planning on mostly watching Christmas TV today but feel much better if we all manage even a little bit of fresh air so will try and get out this afternoon and wear the boys out a bit.

If you feel better when your day has structure, could you put something in, do a bit of a timetable or something?

Try and focus on the good moments, we all know it’s not all good and that’s ok!

Thinking of you and sending love,

Jenny x

Pikorua
PikoruaVolunteer

Hello Bumblebeeee,

feelings come and go and Christmas can be a trigger, too for so many mums.

I have to go with the flow and just in acceptance that when I am at this low, I try and keep occupied with the things, which are not causing any more despair.

Jenny also mentioned fresh air, I usually feel better when I had a bit of change of scenery, if it is a walk with the dog or just being at a spot where I can feel inner peace. I often play with my son lego and it is a great focus...focusing on a task which maybe repetitive helps, too...I love sorting his lego mess :-) arts and craft and painting and decorating makes me happy.

Moments come and go, there will be the ones you will cherish forever, just around the corner. You are a fighter and doing exceptionally well...

Take good care,

big hug x

Thank you. I’m in Jusr a crappy mood. Iv tried phoning my husband but he just ignores my phone calls. The kids are just climbing all over me like a climbing frame. I had a bath whilst the baby had her nap hoping I could do my hair and makeup to feel better, but she woke up after half hour so I’m sat here now with wet hair not being able to dry it. I just really feel like I need a break. I just feel so crap today I want to go to bed

Lilybeth
LilybethVolunteer

Hello Bumblebeeee

I'm sorry you had a bad day and hope your husband is now home. I think this time of year is quite stressful as your children must be so excited that Santa's on his way tonight 🎅 Try not to worry about the mess. As mentioned earlier, they were having fun and happy to be with you .... so that's a positive ....

It's good that you thought of having a bath for relaxation. I hope you were eventually able to dry your hair. Is there anyone else who could help with the children if your husband is at work? I expect your husband was busy at work ... I think when we feel a bit overwhelmed we tend to think we are being ignored.

Try not worry, I'm sure you are now planning an amazing day for your children tomorrow and they will have presents for you too. They love you and want to be near you so that's another positive from today :) Remember what a great mum you are and try not to judge yourself. Take care.

Pikorua
PikoruaVolunteer

We are all here Bumblebeeee! Wishing you health and happiness and once the over- excitement with kids are gone its going to be a bit easier throughout the festive time.

My boys are in the local pub right now with granddad and then it is just a quiet one for us. We usually do the gathering in the mornings including exchange of presents mainly for the children.

I've taught my son a bit of patience and we are unwrapping presents gradually...the Santa ones are to be opened frantically as usual :-) and the international ones in the afternoon.

Bumblebeeee, I remember when you started writing here fore the first time, I told you I love your pseudonym as I can resonate with my Bipolar brain. I never keep still, if my body is not browsing about, my mind maybe racing or both...I am always busy like a bee...it will get easier, promise!

Look after yourself and hope you can have a bit of "me time" or quality moments with your partner...everybody is trying so hard and sometimes emotionally it can get all a bit too much...we all have been their or get these attock feelings rushing through your mind...

Sending you hugs, you've been amazingly strong.

x

Lilybeth
LilybethVolunteer

Hello Bumblebeeee

I'm not sure how old your other children are but perhaps the next time you are alone with them and the baby is sleeping, you might sit on the sofa with them and wrap yourselves in a duvet to watch one of their favourite films together?

This might make you feel comfortable and reassuring that you can manage on our own until your husband comes home? Your children might even look forward to their duvet time with you :)

We all know it's not easy so be good to yourself. ❤️️

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