This is going to sound really bad. I had a mania event following the birth of my son. I have been depressed for 7 months and having severe anxiety because my husband and son are are my triggers. I am codependent on my husband but don’t think I want to be a mom. I know that sounds horrible but the stress is putting me into a daily panic.
Now what? What the heck do I do?
It doesn’t sound bad mania is exhausting and often after a period of mania you can get a bout of depression afterwards. If you’re feeling stressed parenting can be hard I’m sure that it’s not that you don’t want to be a mum but that being a mum is hard work when you are struggling with mental health I’m sure when your mental health picks up you will enjoy being a mum again. Can you access any counselling through your gp at all sometimes getting help can take a while but it’s worth it if you can get it xx
Hi Hmcw
Thank you for posting so honestly, I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. I’m completely sure you’re not alone in having these thoughts, it can all get so overwhelming and I’m sure the fight or flight and self preservation instincts just kick in. I think it’s very normal to wish it all away at times, but I’m sure it’s all just part of the illness (or a blip in the rocky road to recovery) and things will get better...
Are you currently receiving treatment for your depression and anxiety? Have you told anyone how you’re feeling? Do try and speak to someone - do you have a friend or family member you could confide in, are you under the care of a mental health team at the moment or could you speak to your GP? It can be so hard to be open about these kinds of feelings as, as you’ve said, you think it sounds ‘really bad’ and ‘horrible’ but it really doesn’t. I’m sure we’ve all felt the same, even if only briefly and even if we don’t say it out loud, and talking about that and discovering you’re not the only one helps hugely. Hopefully ‘talking’ here will help too.
I do hope you can get some support and that things start to feel better. Hang in there, I’m sure brighter days lie ahead.
Very best wishes,
Jenny x
Thanks Jenny and Beccia for your reply’s. I am trying to get help. Going to outpatient tonight to get help
Hello Hmcw
I'm sorry to hear how anxious you have been. Being a mum and coping with an illness is not easy. I had PP many years ago and anxiety was very hard to manage without help. I hope you were able to find support and advice at outpatients last night. Sending a hug across the pond 
Take care.
Hi Hmcw
Thanks for replying. I hope having your meds adjusted will be helpful. Take care. x
Dear HMCW. You are certainly having a hard time st present and with what you’ve had to cope with it’s not surprising you feel overwhelmed and unsure about being a mum .
Help with the depression is very important and contacting your GP and getting the mh team involved is sensible so you can look at all the types of support , meds , therapies etc, to give you maximum chances of coping and recovering well and getting on with life..
Which part of being a mum is the one which you don’t like? ( there are many challenges daily , for mums!)
When you have mental health issues, you really need looking after , yourself , support and kindness, help with the house , the cleaning shopping etc and with a child or children their needs push a mums needs out of the way which is very hard .
Accept help if it’s offered , and don’t hesitate to talk openly to a friend or your doctor about how you feel.
The great thing about being a mum and the huge pleasure it brings is just around the corner , but while you are feeling so unwell it’s rather out of reach right now. .
You will recover and with support life will improve . In the past I had PPP , severe depression , an alcoholic husband and financial chaos to deal with , when I was young , then had to bring up 4 children alone . There were times I felt weak, inadequate, overburdened , and in the wrong job!!
Not now though; my grown up family ( and their own little ones) are my lifeline, we are the best pals and I’m sure there will be lots of happiness ahead for you too, so hang in there, and apart from medical help, go walking somewhere nice,watch Netflix movies, have a massage , and if possible write down a diary of the positive things that happen each day . Looking back at the end of the week is helpful !
Thinking of you today and wishing you all the best for happier days .
Denise XX
Yoy are getting over a difficult episide and dealing with a baby. IT draining. Just take it as it comes. Things will change. Take time for urself catch up on sleep. Go out whenu can. Baby tasks will get easier. Is there anyone to Help fora while. Does husband watch the baby sumtimes. Try reduce stress. Easy dinners ect
Hello Hmcw
Just wondering how you have been since the change in medication? I hope by now you are having support to manage your depression and anxiety. It can sometimes be overwhelming which we all understand.
Take good care .... we are here to talk if it helps you. xx
Starting to consider a number 2
My psychosis story which has continued but the meds are disabling me 
Thinking about 2nd baby
Do I need help or am I over thinking 
