PPP

[Poulson]

I have suffered PPP on 3 occasions and was sectioned on many occasions due to my delusions and behaviour. I went to prison twice and sometimes think my life is going nowhere. I am studying at the moment with the Open University to better understand my symptoms. I find it very hard to get up in the morning as I am reliving all the trauma I have suffered. I don't think I will ever work again as I am now on PIP. I Want to raise awareness of PPP and get it more out in the open. I am having some blood tests soon and have been for an x-ray as I have lost 10 kilos in two months. I was so looking forward to having children but the symptoms of PPP robbed me of my precious years with them. I am trying to believe that I am a good person, but am feeling so much guilt and depression at the moment as well as the flashbacks and constant nightmares.

[Juffle]

Hugs. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through

[Jenny_at_APP Partner]

Hi Poulson

I’m so sorry you’re suffering so much with guilt and depression. Bad things happening to you doesn’t make you a bad person, it’s awful luck, you’re incredibly strong to have got through it all and it’s amazing you’re wanting to raise more awareness of PP and are studying to better understand your symptoms.

I’m sorry you’re reliving so much trauma at the moment, it must be so hard and I do hope you’ve got support to help you through.

Take care, sending you a big hug,

Jenny x

[Ellie_at_APP Partner]

Hi Poulson

I'm so sorry to hear you are struggling at the moment. I know from your previous posts that you have been through such traumatic times in your life - you have had to cope with so much, and it's not surprising, after everything you have been through, that you are suffering with flashbacks. I'm sorry you feel guilty - it's a horrible feeling, and I remember it well when I was feeling low. But you have been unwell, and have had to cope with so much trauma in your life too, through absolutely no fault of your own. As Jenny has written (much better than me) - that bad things happening to you don't make you a bad person...

You are doing amazing, to cope with everything you have coped with in your life, to be looking forward, wanting to help others, and doing the open university course. I hope you have some people in your life who you can trust, and be yourself with. Are there any mental health professionals, a therapist perhaps, who you have a relationship with who can support you too? I really hope that you can find the support you need.

I'm thinking of you. I'm glad you feel you could reach out on here.

Ellie X