Need support..: Hi, My daughter is... - Action on Postpar...

Action on Postpartum Psychosis
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Need support..

RedRosie36
RedRosie36

Hi, My daughter is 6 months pregnant with her 3rd child and is talking about "the man" whose baby is it...(its her husbands but she is very confused)...she wants to cut the baby out so she can get better..local crisis team cant seem to help as she is not self harming or saying she will kill herself, so we are left to cope..she has 2 little boys at home along with her husband, but he has as much clue how to help her as we do, in fact he gets angry when she talks about cutting the baby out..understandable but not helpful as when she is "well" she would never talk like this..she has a history of mental health problems including ppp...after her first child she was convinced her was controlling her and making her look like a bad mother..second one was a straight breakdown , but this is scary, we are used to the self harm and threats to kill herself, but this..how do we help her when she has another 10 weeks of pregnancy to do, they already have given her a date to be induced so we know when baby will be here..but how are we meant to cope for the next 10 weeks?????

can anyone help or give us tips on how to keep her calm when the demons come into her head?

11 Replies
oldestnewest

I am so sorry that your daughter is struggling. I had PP and have been advised should I become pregnant again then I can refer to the peri-natal team if you can not do this directly your G.P can make the referral. I have also been advised of Sunshine midwifes who specialise in mental health midwifery. Both of these services can be referred to at any time in pregnancy. Do you have a plan in place surrounding the birth , so there is support in place for you all. I hope everything goes okay for you all x

RedRosie36
RedRosie36
in reply to Theo116

Thank You Theo116, she has a mental health midwife and a care worker..but as she is not deemed ill enough for a stay in hospital as its mostly nights when she has problems, they are not at work to help her and the local crisis team are as much use as a chocolate teapot..I'm so worried about her state of mind but don't know where to turn to for help...

Hi, I'm so sorry to hear she is struggling and you and your family are left to cope alone. I had PP in may 2015 and the crisis team and out of hours service was useless. My family ended up taking me to A&E. What area of the country are you as the MBU I was in (Stafford) admits from 28 weeks pregnant so not sure if they are all the same. She would have to be referred by midwife or the crisis team if you can try again with them. I do remember being unwell & the worst thing that your family can do is "challenge" you or what your saying. (Although I appreciate it's extremely hard not to). If no-one will help out of hours could you convince her to stay with you to "get away from him"(her husband). I felt the same about my husband even though we have a loving great relationship & I would have stayed away from him. Hope this helps and she gets the help she and you need x X

RedRosie36
RedRosie36
in reply to Libby02

Hi Libby, we are in Somerset..the closest mother and baby unit is in Poole..we went there last week but they deemed my daughter not ill enough for their services at this point in time.... The "man" is a demon/god in her head that she believes managed to get her pregnant..this has come about because she was diagnosed with Antibodies C..due to a possible blood transfusion with her first child..but in her mind the baby cant be theirs because of this..its all very confusing..we try not to challenge her but to ask her to explain why she wants to cut the baby out..what can the "man" do if we talk about him..this is what her care worker said to do..its difficult not to get cross especially sash seems to "normal" if you know what I mean..

Libby02
Libby02
in reply to RedRosie36

All sounds so awful, can you ring Poole MBU to see if they can help in anyway as they should have trained perinatal professionals on shift? We found it hard as the crisis team had no clue about postpartum psychosis & the effects it has on you. she sounds like she's poorlier than she was when assessed? You mention she's worse at night so they won't see this unless they admit her, how frustrating for you all. Sorry I thought she didn't like being around her husband due to "the man" so she may be calmer until she sees her care team on Monday if she could be with you. I was very similar that I was so like myself but with a super exaggerated edge and extremely manic. I was very good at tricking people, all part of the illness I guess. X x

Thanks Libby02, I do think she will end up either in the mother and baby unit next week or in the local mental health unit..its so sad that there isn't help and support everywhere as there seems to be so much lack of understanding about this..

Ellie_at_APP
Ellie_at_APPAdministrator

Dear RedRosie36

I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter. It sounds so stressful and upsetting what you are all going through and having to cope with. You've had some good support from people above. It's good to hear that she has some professional support and input, but it must be worrying to still have the symptoms there.

The first thing I would have suggested is to get her professional help, but it sounds like you have done that, including visiting a mother and baby unit already. It's good that she is getting some professional input though. I wondered if she is under the care of a perinatal psychiatrist at all, for example through the Poole mother and baby unit, or a local perinatal team, who can advise medication she could take for example? Has she been prescribed any anti psychotic? If this isn't available, I did want to let you know there is a second opinion perinatal psychiatrist service which is free to access, for your daughter and your health authority, but she would need to be referred by her GP or mental health team. This may be helpful, though I imagine she has already been advised about treatment from the Poole MBU? app-network.org/what-is-pp/...

I also wanted to let you know about our insider guides written by families affected by PP and leading perinatal clinicians if you haven't found them already. I think there could be useful information in all the guides for you and your families - including planning a pregnancy, and a partners guide which is aimed at partners, but also grandparents etc supporting their children affected by PP: app-network.org/what-is-pp/...

The last thing I would suggest is keeping a diary of what she says, her moods and symptoms. Date and time each comment, perhaps do it with her husband too so together you can 'paint' as full a picture as possible. And make sure you present this when she has appointments so you can be absolutely clear with them, with evidence, about how she is, and what you are witnessing. This sounds like it may be helpful as you say a lot of the symptoms seem to be at night.

I really hope that you can get your daughter, and yourself, the support she needs, and for yourself. I hope some of this information and signposting is helpful.

Take care, and do write on here whenever you need to.

Ellie

Dear RedRosie36

So sorry to hear about the difficulties you are all experiencing. It must be extremely tough on the whole family. I hope you find the support you all need.

I had PPP in 2014 and was admitted to Westbourne mother & baby unit in Bournemouth. The manager Paul was lovely & very helpful. Maybe worth looking into as it is not far from Poole.

I also wondered if your daughter is sleeping at all? I ask this as my manic episodes were also at night & I barely slept for weeks which actually contributed to my psychosis. When I did sleep I had night terrors which left me even more reluctant to sleep. Perhaps discuss this with the mental health team if it is an issue as lack of sleep can take a toll on our mental health.

I wish you & your family well & really hope you get some help soon.

Take care

Em x

Lilybeth
LilybethVolunteer

Hello RedRosie36

I hope the support here has been helpful. I would also like to add how sorry I am that you are trying to cope with such turmoil in looking after your daughter. I had PP twice many years ago, six years apart, and it must have been so difficult for my husband and family then. I was sectioned to general psychiatric care. The trouble is that everything your daughter is experiencing is so real and frightening to her and she isn't in control, which you are probably aware of if this is her second PP.

You are doing so much to keep her safe and find help. I haven't any advice to add to the support here already, except to say your daughter's GP has a duty of care and other than taking her to A & E to be assessed, her GP should be involved. Perhaps her midwife and care worker can also raise a red flag on your behalf.

Thinking of you and your family and hope you can find some support from professionals.

Take care.

Reduce stress at home. Help with other children and husband. Sounds as if she needs to be on medication maybe an antipsychotic. If things continue the same it is almost certain she will have another post natal episode. I am in the same stage of pregnancy and well without medication yet I'm still considering to start medication to lower post natal risk. Has she got a good birth plan. I am having epidural as pain is trigger for me. There shud be a clear medication plan for after. If she not well now she may refuse meds after birth. Also she shouldn't breastfeed if it interferes with medication or I would say not at alll. Rest is crucial after birth. I'm will take quetiapine to relax and help sleep after . It may not be appropriate for her I don't know her exact diagnosis. A doctor shud plan this or a perinatal psychologist really. Sumone should help with night feeds and she shud stay longer in hospital after birth.

Thank you all for your kindness...my daughter is getting some help, including a specialist midwife to help her so I will keep you posted..

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