I wonder if anyone has experienced anything similar...
The onset of my ppp was a few hours after delivery. I hadn't slept in days or eaten much and had a forceps delivery so was pretty shell shocked. I felt totally overwhelmed and wired and said to staff (and my husband) that I needed something to help me sleep as I couldn't switch off and was feeling more and more bizarre. Medical staff refused to give any medication/sedative etc and my husband was hugely out of his depth as I got more and more ill ending with me hallucinating, screaming shouting etc crying. Convinced I was dying or dead and convinced my baby was in grave danger.
I was lucky that I had fairly good insight into the fact I was becoming unwell and losing touch with reality but it felt like I couldn't make anyone listen to me. If I had been given something to help me sleep and helped to feed my son I really don't know if I'd have had the episode and I find myself resentful at this idea.
I feel that ppp has changed me fundamentally and that I lost a lot of confidence in myself and in my role as a new parent.
I'm slowly feeling more like myself but can still get very angry and resentful at my husband to the point where it has ruined my trust in him.
Will these feelings go? Any advice on how to deal with them?