Add stress for both of us!

[Ash0897]

Hi, my wife was diagnosed with pp when are little one was about 3 weeks old and sectioned. They where lucky and got in to mbu. The pp was treated quickly and my wife was getting back to herself, then two weeks after discharge she hit a deep depression so readmitted. When she finally came home are little one was 4 and ahalf months old. things where understandably rock, we only move in in Jan and little one came March, new house 1st baby. Then 3 weeks after my wife getting home are little one has been diagnosed with a rare for of leukaemia. I am worried now for the mental state of my wife along with the future of are baby. My wife seemed to be making head way going to groups trying to beat her illness but this had knocked her and her low moods happen more frequently and for longer it was getting to just a morning thing but it's escalated again. She has regularly visits for the mental health team that are great. but the last 2 weeks we have been in JR oxford away from her main care.

[Hannah_at_APP Administrator]

Hello Ash0897 and welcome to the forum,

I am sorry to hear that your wife has been having a difficult time after PP and also the recent diagnosis of your little one, it must be hard for you both at this time. Will there be any support offered as part of any treatment your child will be having? It's good to hear that your wife has care in place for her mental health, and this latest diagnosis will be something that they will also be mindful of too I am sure. It's positive that she has you looking out for her and other regular visits from the MH team. Do you have support from family and friends too, as it can be a big thing to take on and keeping your stress and wellbeing in mind is also important for you all.

You mention being in JR Oxford away from the main care, will you be able to go back to your usual support team soon? Hopefully they will have a good handover between teams, but this may also be something that you can be part of; I know that my husband attended meetings when I was discharged from a MBU back to a community team which was a fair distance between the two and this was helpful to me.

Is your wife also still taking medication? If so, perhaps a review of this could help with the low moods you mention. I know when I was recovering from an episode of PP I hated taking medication as it felt like a constant reminder when all I wanted was to get back to normal. But in hindsight, I can see how much it helped me and it was the right thing to do.

APP also has some Insider Guides, including about Recovery and a Partners Guide, which might be useful: app-network.org/what-is-pp/... I appreciate that a lot of the added stress will be connected to your little one's illness though, so I hope that you can find other support around that. Your GP would also be a good contact for any other groups locally that can offer this.

Take care, xx

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Ash0897

Welcome to the forum where you will find lots of advice and support. I'm really sorry to hear that after all your wife went through, recovering from PP and depression, you have both been rocked by your baby's diagnosis and her low mood has escalated.

Are you still in JR in Oxford? (Is that the John Radcliffe Hospital?) if so, are you there for your wife or baby? It must be so hard for you both. Moving to a new home can be stressful in itself but having these added worries is very hard.

Will you be returning home soon so that your wife's main care can continue? Hopefully your wife is taking medication that will keep her stable for now. I think when you return home you will be able to update your wife's care team about her frequent low moods so that they might review her medication and treatment. Do you have a crisis team you could contact if you are in Oxford indefinitely?

It's such a blow for your wife after coming through PP and finding groups to support her. After my second PP in 1981 I had depression which, from my notes, lasted for almost a year, although treatment and recovery have improved since then. I was mainly treated at home. I'm sure you are both devastated by your baby's illness and I hope you are receiving support and advice regarding treatment and care. Do you also have family and friends to support you?

Take good care of yourself too as this must be such a stressful, emotional time for you.

[Jenny_at_APP Partner]

Hello ash0897

I'm so very sorry to read about your baby's diagnosis - what a terrible thing to have to face at any time, but what a stressful 6 months you've had.

It must be a worry being away from your wife's care team. Are you able to contact them if necessary? When is your wife due to see them next? I hope you're able to access their support if you need to and are concerned about your wife's condition; you are probably best placed to recognise if her symptoms are getting worse so I hope you have a way to keep in touch with them.

I hope you are getting support too. Hannah has posted links to some insider guides on the APP website which you may find helpful.

I don't know the implications of your baby's diagnosis but I hope that you are both getting / being offered support around this, I can only imagine what you must be going through.

This is a terribly stressful time for you both but have hope that you will get through it. Lean on those around you, don't hesitate to access extra support for your wife if you think she needs it, and do keep writing here if it helps.

Take very good care xx

[Ash0897]

Hi all. We have currently been sent back to Swindon gwh and had the blessing of having our ladie back for the weekend. I have been intouch with my wife early intervention team. Who I must say have been great. (calling my wife to catchup) they should be able to drop in now as we are with in the area. We do have friends and family but I sometimes feel some of them don't understand her struggle. Though I find myself getting sort with her due to her illness and the constant repetition of it! Also my wife's on olanzipine did any of you find it stopped your periods she's not had one as of yet!!

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Ash0897

Good to hear you were able to have a family weekend. I'm glad you have had great support from the Early Intervention team and are now in the area for them to hopefully visit your wife.

It is sometimes frustrating that friends and family don't understand your wife's struggle when she is fighting so hard to be well. Low mood is very hard to cope with every day and very draining. I have recently read my notes during my recovery from depression following PP and can see how difficult it was at times for my husband and family. Your wife also has the added stress of your baby being unwell so it's not easy for both of you.

With my sons I was treated under general psychiatric care. I was sectioned and my first son was four months old before I was transferred to a mental health unit where they made special arrangements for him to be with me .... he was the only baby in the unit! He was born in November '75 and in March '76 during transfer there is a letter to my GP confirming treatment, mentioning that I had not yet had a menstrual period in spite of the fact that I was not breastfeeding. At this time the Registrar recorded that this was probably due to my "psychiatric condition". I'm not sure though what medication I was taking. Other mums here will be able to share their experiences.

Thinking of you and your family.

Take good care .... we are all here to lean on.

[Jenny_at_APP Partner]

Hi Ash0897,

I too am happy to hear that you've been able to be together over the weekend and are back in area for your wife to have access to her care team.

I think it can be very hard for friends and family to understand and I think for fear of saying the wrong thing, a lot of people choose to say nothing and perhaps back away a bit. Though unfortunately they will probably never understand what your wife is going through, hopefully amongst them there are people who would absolutely step in if you asked for help but are not sure how to offer it? I hope so.

In terms of periods, I'm pretty sure this type of medication can delay / temporarily stop them. I can't remember what happened with mine after PP. I had a second baby at the end of January and have been taking a low dose of quetiapine since delivery - it took 3-4 months before I had a period, I can't remember exactly, and when I asked my GP if it could be due to the medication she said it was certainly possible.

Thinking of you all.

J x

[JoannaBrooks]

So sorry to hear what you are going through. Just to reply to question re periods- I did not get periods for a year after my son was born, because of the olanzapine. They eventually returned after I stopped the medication. I believe that is very common.

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Ash0897

I hope your wife is slowly recovering and receiving support from the early intervention team. Will you be able to have a family weekend with your daughter?

Thinking of you .......

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Ash0897

I hope your wife is recovering and she is still receiving good support. Thinking of your daughter too.

Take good care of yourself.

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Ash0897

Thinking of you and your family.

Take good care.