Halloween

[bluestarlady]

Hi All,

Since having PPP I have noticed that my attitude towards Halloween has changed as a lot as a lot of the things associated with this festival I find a bit of a nasty reminder of the trauma of the worst of my psychosis. My partner finds it odd that I don't want to dress up anymore and am questioning the whole thing about having a festival of death. Before I was more than happy to dress up as a zombie/witch etc and never even thought about the meaning. Am I being silly/ over-reacting?

S

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello bluestarlady

Thanks for coming back to the forum. Just catching up with your previous posts and wondered if you did have time off work and eventually changed your career to something less stressful?

I think the bad memories of my psychosis after a few years were still raw and haunted me. With the passage of time though these awful experiences do fade; they are still easy to recall but don't worry me now.

I have never been comfortable with Halloween ..... I find ghosts and ghouls all a little frightening. I'm sorry you relate this date on the calendar to a very bad time in your life. I don't think you're over-reacting ........ the 'occasion' has just triggered a bad memory for you so it's understandable.

Try not to worry .... you have come a long way and it takes some of us longer than others to heal.

[Jenny_at_APP Partner]

Hi bluestarlady,

I don't think you're being silly or overreacting, you can't control the associations and triggers you have (though hopefully in time these will lessen). Plus Halloween is an odd concept when you think about it, I'm sure plenty of people avoid it.

I wouldn't worry about choosing not to partake, I just hope you don't find the whole event upsetting as it does seem to be everywhere.

Take care xx

[Hannah_at_APP Administrator]

Hi bluestarlady,

It's not at all silly or over-reacting, like JB55 says we can't control what upsets us any more than we can help having had PP.

Halloween does seem to be getting bigger every year and I never really used to do much before I had kids to be honest. Apart from the odd student party, but everything was an excuse for a party back then! Bizarrely one of my happiest memories, whilst still in the MBU was my husband dressing our baby in a cute Halloween onesie and all the staff cooing over him. He was a month or so old and I don't remember anything before that, other than the very early days of everything being hard with a new baby and starting to become unwell. I was still pretty unwell and didn't make it home until after Christmas, but it was a milestone for me to actually remember that day when the rest of October had been a blank, although perhaps for the best. I then went to a Halloween kids party 2 years later where he screamed and refused to take his coat off the whole time, toddlers eh!! I found that very stressful and remember crying that I would never be able to be a success at anything. Recovery can be hard and we need to be gently with ourselves.

Now my son likes to go out with his friends trick or treating and we're lucky where we live that they put on a little party at the village hall and everyone just congregates there whilst the kids burn off some of the sweets we've tried so hard to get them not to eat all of! The bar is open for the adults and it's a nice little event, nothing too major. What do your children like to do? Hopefully you can find something that isn't too stressful. It might change over time and you will feel like you want to go back to all the costumes etc, but try not to worry too much, I hope you can find the right balance. Perhaps you could escape to the cinema or something? I hope it's not too stressful for you, try and plan nice things for early November when it is all gone for another year. Take care, xx

[HelenMW Volunteer]

Hello there, I don't think you are being silly or over-reacting. In my family many years ago Halloween used to be a lovely hot pot, lights in the garden, apple bobbing and generally a 'nice' occasion but over the years Halloween has become much more of an event including scary masks and eggs being thrown at houses! I find it better to think on things which are lovely and worthy and honourable and such. It is the night before All Saints Day in the calendar also called All Hallows Day which actually means Holy and Sanctified.

I hope you are able to find a balance between what you are comfortable with and what the children like to do, which is usually just to dress up and have treats!

Thanks for posting, Helen x

[bravesurvivor411]

I don't have those feelings necessarily towards Halloween but I do towards any death of violence I see on TV,movies, Internet, magazines..... I can't handle it my husband knows to turn the channel or do whatever so I don't see it. I thought violence before was wrong to show on tv but now I find it disturbing that others are entertained by simulated murders.

So I don't find your feelings towards Halloween silly at all.

[K8Stack]

You are not alone! Halloween can be the Worst! Especially with the Scary movies which normally have a psychosis element to them. I try to focus on the Cute side of Halloween and focus on Kido and how excited he is about it.

I can't watch TV this time of year with all the commercials for Movies and Horror themes. Did not like it in the first place now I really don't.

We PP mamas' were in Psych Wards "living" there is the most scared I have ever been. Seeing that portrayed as entertainment for others is unnerving.

Hope that helps.

Much Love

K8Stack