This is a question I ask myself after suffering anxiety disorders for over 20 years! These have manifested into many different formats from panic attacks, not wanting to eat in front of people or eat out anywhere, being agraphobic, claustrophobic, you name it I seem to have suffered from it. My problem now (and has been for a few years) is this feeling that I am going to fall over all the time. Spaced out feelings of unreality, when walking feel like I am being pulled to the side or like walking on a bouncy castle or boat. When in a queue or in at a shop counter if there is space behind me my legs are so tensed and frozen I feel I am going to fall back so feel myself standing leaning on the counter or clinging to it and think (what the hell are other people thinking I must look stupid). I know I am doing it but just cannot seem to relax. I have had counselling and am now in CBT therapy and find this helpful as I understand now all about the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems etc. But why oh why is this thought in my head every single day???
I am trying to focus my attention on other things (which is hard) and trying to practice mindfullnes and keeping my mind busy on other things but finding this so hard when my problem has become a habit now as it has gone on for so long.
I have coped over the years with having my little ones pushchair to hold onto when out, or shopping trolley when shopping (which I even get if I only need a couple of things) and know I have to let go of these crutches! The buggy has gone now as my little one is 5 now and I have even thought of getting a shopping trolly (but not a good look) I feel anything to stop this feeling.
I would rather cycle to pick my little one up from school so I have my bike to hold onto in the playground rather than park the car and walk and have nothing to hold onto when waiting for him. I think I am MAD CRACKING UP AND STUPID!!! I just wish I could be normal and found this site by googling the other day. Does anyone else get these feelings? I am fine driving its just walking in open space which I avoid (which keeps the fear going I know)!
Therapy is helping me understand but it still isnt making my problem any easier.
I would do anything to be a normal person without this stupid feelings!