This is a question I ask myself after suffering anxiety disorders for over 20 years! These have manifested into many different formats from panic attacks, not wanting to eat in front of people or eat out anywhere, being agraphobic, claustrophobic, you name it I seem to have suffered from it. My problem now (and has been for a few years) is this feeling that I am going to fall over all the time. Spaced out feelings of unreality, when walking feel like I am being pulled to the side or like walking on a bouncy castle or boat. When in a queue or in at a shop counter if there is space behind me my legs are so tensed and frozen I feel I am going to fall back so feel myself standing leaning on the counter or clinging to it and think (what the hell are other people thinking I must look stupid). I know I am doing it but just cannot seem to relax. I have had counselling and am now in CBT therapy and find this helpful as I understand now all about the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems etc. But why oh why is this thought in my head every single day???

I am trying to focus my attention on other things (which is hard) and trying to practice mindfullnes and keeping my mind busy on other things but finding this so hard when my problem has become a habit now as it has gone on for so long.

I have coped over the years with having my little ones pushchair to hold onto when out, or shopping trolley when shopping (which I even get if I only need a couple of things) and know I have to let go of these crutches! The buggy has gone now as my little one is 5 now and I have even thought of getting a shopping trolly (but not a good look) I feel anything to stop this feeling.

I would rather cycle to pick my little one up from school so I have my bike to hold onto in the playground rather than park the car and walk and have nothing to hold onto when waiting for him. I think I am MAD CRACKING UP AND STUPID!!! I just wish I could be normal and found this site by googling the other day. Does anyone else get these feelings? I am fine driving its just walking in open space which I avoid (which keeps the fear going I know)!

Therapy is helping me understand but it still isnt making my problem any easier.

I would do anything to be a normal person without this stupid feelings!


4 Replies

  • Hi Jacqui,

    Yup, had all those feelings and more besides:-) your not alone. I do sympathise, I suffered for 30 yrs, untill I kicked myself up the btm (in a loving way ) and got on with it.

    This part of your blog is interesting, you say

    " I am trying to focus my attention on other things (which is hard) and trying to practice mindfullnes and keeping my mind busy on other things but finding this so hard when my problem has become a habit now as it has gone on for so long. "

    No wonder your feeling this in the middle of a blaster, we must start practicing at home first, and gradually learn how to face the blasters with the skills learnt.

    I bet your only thinking of the mindfullness when your in a full scale war zone :-)

    You can do it but I think maybe your being to hard on yourself, and a bit unrealistic to expect instant results, its all about right practice. and your idea above is not quite correct, as it sounds like your running from the panic and trying to think of something else.

    Wishing you well



  • Yes!! This is the first time that I've ever read about someone with anxiety issues having this. I get this every day! I do think it's partly to do with my meds (Mirtazapine) that make me quite tired. But yes, I do get this and I hate it! I feel like I'm going to fall over, my legs feel weak, feel like I'm being pulled or that I'm not standing straight/off balance. I sometimes take my long umbrella out for stability! It's driving me mad too. xxx

  • And it happens outside for me too. xx

  • Snap I cant believe you said that about the umbrella as I did that too a couple of times at school pick up (I even thought of getting a walking stick just for something to lean on or a shopping trolley now I dont have the buggy) - not a good look at 43 really. Its awful isnt it? I can quite happily walk through town pushing my bike but feel the dread of ever trying it without. I think I look drunk when I am walking as I tend to go to the side of paths, near fences and even close to people when I am walking round them. I can assure you I am not drunk and never have been as I have a phobia of being sick so have never been drunk and dont drink at all. I know I am holding my breath but try to do my breathing but still I know whats causing it all I cant seem to let go of this habit even though it makes my life a misery. I am glad other people have had this unbalanced fuzzy head unreality feeling and why of why is it CONSTANTLY on my mind the moment I leave my car? This morning I took my little one into school and the sun and wind helped a bit and I felt quite relaxed and happy even though I still thought of it and am now at home doing housework and know my son is being picked up by a friend so I dont have to get the feeling at 3 o'clock so should be quite a chilled out day today. But avoidance is NOT the answer I know that but cant be helped today as autoglass are coming to fix my windscreen between 2 and 5 :) xxx

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