Firstly, I've always had problems with my self esteem. I'm 19 years old and 20 this year and I worry that I haven't really 'Lived life' compared to my peers. Due to my anxiety, I don't engage in social activities much and I spend my spare time either with family or alone.
I work with people who are older than me ranging from late 20's to 50's and they were all talking in the office about when they were young and how they used to go out etc. Some also mentioned when they met their current husbands at the ages of 18, 19 etc
For some reason, this seemed to really hit me hard and I felt like crying for the rest of the day. Only reason I can think of is that it's because it makes me feel like I haven't done anything with my life. I haven't got any proper friends nor have I got a circle of friends that people seem to have. I don't go out and I just feel like some lonely person that nobody seems to be interested in and it makes me feel depressed.
I always had these thoughts in the back of my head but when the conversation raised in the office, this seemed to confirm all those thoughts in my head. I also feel embarrassed when people ask what I'm doing this weekend or if I have a girlfriend etc because I've never had one. It's not just that, it's also the problem of having no real friends either.
It's common that people say people around my age should be having the time of their life. For me this is not true at all due to my anxiety. It's hard to try and write the full details on here because there is still a lot more to mention but I don't expect any miracles. I just thought I would share this with everyone on here and see what your thoughts are.