A sudden feeling of anxiety and depression

Firstly, I've always had problems with my self esteem. I'm 19 years old and 20 this year and I worry that I haven't really 'Lived life' compared to my peers. Due to my anxiety, I don't engage in social activities much and I spend my spare time either with family or alone.

I work with people who are older than me ranging from late 20's to 50's and they were all talking in the office about when they were young and how they used to go out etc. Some also mentioned when they met their current husbands at the ages of 18, 19 etc

For some reason, this seemed to really hit me hard and I felt like crying for the rest of the day. Only reason I can think of is that it's because it makes me feel like I haven't done anything with my life. I haven't got any proper friends nor have I got a circle of friends that people seem to have. I don't go out and I just feel like some lonely person that nobody seems to be interested in and it makes me feel depressed.

I always had these thoughts in the back of my head but when the conversation raised in the office, this seemed to confirm all those thoughts in my head. I also feel embarrassed when people ask what I'm doing this weekend or if I have a girlfriend etc because I've never had one. It's not just that, it's also the problem of having no real friends either.

It's common that people say people around my age should be having the time of their life. For me this is not true at all due to my anxiety. It's hard to try and write the full details on here because there is still a lot more to mention but I don't expect any miracles. I just thought I would share this with everyone on here and see what your thoughts are.


4 Replies

  • Ah Hun you are soo young and you have your whole life in front of you,,,,, theres no rush to have a girlfriend.............take some time to get to know yourself and what you like.....

    What about any hobbies that you could persue or groups you could join to meet people your age that like what you like??

    I know how hard it is at your age and Im sure everyone on here will agree, its very hard at your age especially when you suffer with anxiety...

    But try not to worry too much and it will all fit into place.........

    think about what You like and then maybe try find a group you could get involved with

    Lots Of Love

    Ker xxx

  • Hi George,

    Just to let you know that I have had lots of phases in my life and at your age where I was just like you. I am the last person to know how to advise you on how to make friends, socialise, if that's what you want to do, but I have ended up with a lovely partner and daughter, somehow!



  • Hi George,

    Plenty of time to " have the time of your life " your " time of your life " may be different to the usual mobs, i.e. getting drunk, fighting, meeting unsavoury girls :-) oh that was me :-)

    You do whats right for you, I never followed the pack, I did my own thing, i had some friends, but were they really good friends, maybe not, its all swings and roundabouts, good and bad. I have one friends now that is a very good friend, and thats rare. I met him at a club I joined exercising.

    I would write down what you do want to do, to feel complete, then work towards those things.

    Girls are just girls, no biggy, just talk with the office girls and be natural, be yourself, girls like that, well some :-) its good practice.

    And KNOW when you meet someone special, everything is easy its a natural thing thats within us all.

    You will find what your looking for eventually, just be yourself and dont try to be like all the others, your unique, as we all are.

    Get the anxiety sorted with a treatment plan that works, its hard, but it make you into a better person, and that will attract your right partner. I've had some great long term relationships even with serious anxiety.

    Hobbies, taking a leap into doing some program that will exercise your social skills, and you do have some I'm sure as you have a job.

    Give it a go, dont expect to be the same as others, as if you look closely, there just as unhappy as you are at the moment, even with all those extra things.

    Wish you well



  • Hi there,

    Please don't be so hard on yourself. We are all individuals and things happen to us all at different times. Take me, I'm 45 or 46 I can't remember lol, but I was the same as you. I never started going out till my late 20s. Now don't panic, that doesn't mean it will be the same for you lol. I like my own company, bloody good job as I'm alone most of the time and can't face leaving my house. I don't have any friends but that is out of choice and not coz I'm a nutter lol.

    Anyway, good things come to those that wait. I was so shy and awkward when I was your age that my own reflection scared me. Just be patient with yourself and don't be wishing your life away. You will get there. I did and I'm glad I waited and didn't rush or follow the crowd.

    Good luck and keep chatting to us xxx

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