Bad day, i thought i was feeling ok.

[char239]

I went back to work today and as soon as got there i just fell apart. Maybe i'm not ready but its just not as easy as that? As the day went on i felt better and even had a few laughs with my collegues. But now i'm home i just keep counting down the hours that i have to go back there and maybe feel the way i did this morning...

Anyways i come home from work and im exhausted physically, mentally etc... so i fall asleep on the sofa and then i get woke up by the dog and my head is pounding! And pounding just a little bit more with every bark. So now i'm in a bad mood (another reason i took the nap was cos i had yet again another broken sleep/got woke up early cos of my partner rustling around or leaving his alarm going! I'm just so exhausted. I didn't eat my dinner cos the thought of eating made me feel physically sick. So my mum goes on at me why didnt i eat and i snapped at her and now i feel bad for that.

BAD F**KING DAY.

I just want to be alone in some comfy little room where i can just stay there forever.

I started to think that i was getting somewhere, this is so hard. I feel so alone.

[fadedlizard]

Hi Char,

I think you're describing my life at the moment just without the partner and the dog!!!

I'm the same; just getting through the day is an achievement. But it is an achievement, love. Living with this level of anxiety is exhausting and sometimes all we can do is get through the day. Don't be hard on yourself. Do the best you can to look after you - try to get rest and eat, little and often. And remember this will pass. It always does. You will feel better. And you're definitely not alone.

Best Wishes,

Lizard.xx

[Jeffju]

Just small steps at a time and we will all get there in the end but the journey is so damned hard and exhausting. We have to be kind to ourselves and recognise our acheivements , however small they may be. I really hope to morrow is a better day for you. Good luck.

[mumma]

you did well at getting back to work and seeing the day through by the sounds of it. It is hard and for awhile it will be uncomfortable but as you saw it wasnt all bad and you even had some laughs.Don't be hard on yourself your doing really well this was a big step for you I am guessing.Be proud of yourself. xx

[Hidden]

Well said mummy, be very proud of yourself char. I quit my job as I couldn't cope anymore, that was in January and I've only left house a few times since. I have made myself a nest at the top of my house, where no one can get to me and where I feel safe. This, I know is not the solution but at the moment I want the world to leave me alone.

You have done so well making the big leap back to work, please don't leap back, post everyday if need be and let us know how you are doing.

Lots of love and best wishes xxx

[jobrisley]

Well done on being back aqt working and last the day, take one day that time.

[char239]

Thankyou so much for all your kind words and yes it did pass but with every hurdle its never easy!! one day at a time

take care everyone

char xx

[Hidden]

Sorry u had a bad day. I went through weeks of similar experiences. I've noticed I have more good days since I started back on paxil. I take paxil and bupropion. I'm also weaning off mitazipine (withdrawal is my issue). I hope u find relief.