Helping my Partener with Anxiety

Hi All,

I have been looking for help/advice on the internet for a while and finally found this site.

Basically - I am 99.9% sure my Partener(Male) has Anxiety Disorder, He is pretty sure too. However he doesnt seem to want help, advice, or anything of the sort.

He displays all of hte symptoms of GAD & i am at a loss as to what i can do - He knows i am here for him, i have told him to browse the NHS website for ways to help etc but he seems to think nothing will help and he will just have to wait and see.

I dont want to push anything as i dont want it to effect us as a couple but i am worried in the long run it will make things 100x worse.

has anybody got any advice/guidance on what i can do.

My partner is a young man <30 so i think this plays a part in not wanting to do anything regarding it.

Thanks all.

8 Replies

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  • Hi & Welcome

    We have another member that uses this site who also has a partner who suffers with anxiety , hope she see's your post , which I am sure she will & replies to you as well , but you are very welcome & where we can we will try & give advise

    Look at the blogs & may get some advise from what we say & how it affects us , also to help you relate to what your OH is going through

    Some , find it hard to admit they are suffering , or may even think it will go away if they ignore it ...but i dont think it does ...well it doesnt for me , I need help & support

    Until your OH is ready to admit he may be suffering , there is nothing much you can do , other than what you are doing & been there for him , which one day I hope he will realise how lucky he is to have someone that cares so much about him

    You could mention you have found a great site , why doesnt he have a look , he may , he may not , but if you plant the seed , he knows it is there

    I think women , find it easier than men , to admit they are suffering , sometimes men can see it as a weakness , which it certainly isnt ...maybe he feels that way , which is holding him back

    Use this site , come on & ask us things , we really dont mind , you are more than welcome , if you can learn more how this effects people , I hope it will make it easier for you to learn to live with someone that suffers , as according to my hubby we are not that easy at times to live with :)

    Love

    whywhy

    xxx

  • Hi Whywhy

    Thanks so much for the reply i really appreicate it!

    I understand how he is feeling - When i was 20 i suffered from what the doctors disgnosed as depression however my Mum is a mental health nurse and she helped me not only as my mum but as a professional and i never touched a tablet & touch wood i have never ever felt like that since it was a period of about 12 months and it took me another 6 to recover - iknow it isnt anxiety as such but some symptoms are the same. I changed my way of thinking and that helped change my way of life - I know it isnt as easy as that for everyone but i need my OH to understand that i have had these thoughts and feelings and felt like nothing would work or nobody was there for me but i will try every day to prove to him that he has all the support in the world.

    One problem i do have i wonder if anybody haas any advice -

    He likes a few pints (what man doesnt) but i understand that alcohol is a depressant and it can make anxiety worse - I dont think he realises this and sometimes when his anxiety gets too much he will have a blow out & think he is releived for a short time?

    Is there any advice i can give him over this without coming across wrong

    I cant express how greatful i am that i have found this - i feel like a weight has been lifted just asking for advice

    Thanks again!!

  • I used to escape from my anxiety , with the demon drink , as that is what it became for me

    Yes it gave me relief for a while , but then i started needing it more & more , until that became a problem , but no one could tell me till I was ready to admit myself , I had problems & to be honest when people were trying to tell me , i didnt appreciate it , not until I was ready to do something about it

    Its hard for you I no as you want to help ,when you got help

    , it worked because you were willing , for me I have to be willing , otherwise i wouldnt listen

    I wouldnt push things to much with him , as frustrating as that might be , as this might just make him go futhur in the opposite direction to what you want , drop things in conversations , , plant the seeds & when he is ready , he may seek help ..fingers crossed

    Just let him no , you are there if he wants to talk , but dont pressure him , anxiety takes us in different ways , how you responded, when you were suffering might not be for him , we all seem to have our own paths we have to go down with this

    Come on here though , if you feel worried , finding it hard to cope , need a rant , we will try & help you as much as we can , or it can be a relief just to get it of your chest

    Love

    whywhy

    xxx

  • Hi hsKitty

    My Oh has anxiety. If you read my blogs you will see what its been like for us both over the last 6 months. I call it the rollercoaster ride. All you can do is be there. You push them they clam up. You just have to be there for them. Luckily my OH wanted to get help straight away. He is waiting for counselling, isnt on medication. This site has been a life saver. Helped me get through things cos sometimes i just didnt think i could carry on with the relationship (not that it is much of one at the mo). I get through it by coming on here and reading what everyone is feeling. Its hard for us on the other side aswell. I do say time and time again you wouldnt walk away from someone that has cancer, and you dont when they have anxiety. Need to have a rant or anything just shout me. Good luck to you both.

    Thanks for that Whywhy. Hope you are ok. xxxxx

  • You are a valid member on here Lou & glad you saw the post , i knew you were the woman to answer this ;)

    xxxxxx

  • Thanks very much. xxxxx

  • i would reccomend A BOOK CALLED SELF HELP FOR YOUR NERVES BY CLAIRE WEEKS

  • i have just started on a 6 week stress control course today and the bloke gave me 2 websites to look at so here they are. getselfhelp.co.uk and www.get gg. good luck

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