so its been a while since i last wrote or commented on here and in that few weeks ive been feeling good. im not cured a long way from it and im certainly no farther forward from my reclusive stage im still indoors, but thanks to people like you all on here im starting to see the world different. i know that im not alone and im not mad i just have a condition and a fear of things ive maybe pushed aside or a general fear of things going wrong whatever it is i have realised it cannot be allowed to control my life. because im a recluse i cannot get out to see my counsellor and unfortunatley im not aloud one to come to my home unless im suicidal ty gb and your health care system. It sucks if i was sucicidal i should hope im be in a nut house (pardon the expression) but because im willing to get better before the decent to rock bottom im left to fall alone. But as i say onward n upward. If i feel the panic im tryin the ignore it method so hopefully soon this will get me out the house as my confidence will rise. i used to cry and think how nice it would be if my life could be like the movies and now i realise i like my life it just needs adjusting like a film director would adjust the film set so heres to my adjusting x
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