Hi, I was first diagnosed with suffering from clinical depression when I was 16, but with the help of weekly counselling and CBT, I significantly improved my outlook on life and consequently my mood improved. In the past year or so however (aged 21) I have been experiencing increased feelings of anxiety. These feelings feel very different to those I experienced with depression. From the moment I wake up, I experience constant doubts and fears, preventing me from ever feeling relaxed. I can't do anything without considering all the possible outcomes of a decision, I am very indecisive, I have irrational fears about healthy family members dying on a daily basis, I fear the future massively. Simple decisions such as going to the gym or work feel me with panic. I am very self critical. I am in my third year of law school and my performance in exams has been seriously affected, I have panic attacks and have complete memory blanks during them. More recently, I have started to feel as though I am going insane, leading to thoughts of suicide. These thoughts are different from the ones I experienced in the past, as I don't feel like there is nothing to live for, I just feel like I need to escape from my mind. I have a happy life, with really good friends and family. I just want to rid these feelings as I am truly struggling. Whilst accepting that I shouldn't, I smoke cannabis daily and if I can't smoke, then I drink alcohol. Not to the point of complete intoxication, but just to take 'the edge' off the constant running of my mind. I aim to quit as I know it is probably a contributing factor and in general is not healthy. Any advice on how I can overcome anxiety? Many thanks.
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