Introduction and my anxiety - Any local meet ups

[Kaz12345]

I have joined today and feel I am suffering with depression and anxiety. Have always been a bit of a worrier but for a while now I feel myself worrying excessively about certain things that others may handle perfectly well. think my depression stems from relationship worries, getting older, realising teenage children will be flying the nest in a couple of years, but my mind is full of what ifs and doom about life changes. I feel that I am weak and that every other person seems to cope ok. I am hoping to try cbt as I cannot quieten my thoughts and my mind just whirs round and round. My heart rushes and my anxiety seems to take the form of wrenching and gagging (lovely) and this is worse first thing in the morning. I have had days when I don't do muCh at all, but others when I make myself do stuff but my life seems to mostly be about housework and cooking!

I feel it might help to talk to/meet others in the same situation and I wondered if there were any local meet ups around the south east london/bromley area. I have contacted someone on this forum who I saw tried to organise a local meet up in Croydon last year. I do like to talk, lol, but hopefully I could also help someone else who was perhaps feeling anxious and worried.

[marcusvanbreugel]

Dear Kaz12345,

I have just this morning put up a sign in my local(crystal Palace) library that reads that i am hoping to set up a once a week social group.

Kindest regards,

Marcus

[Hidden]

I have all the same feelings as you and constant worry about everything,even small incidents in the past,most of my big worries are for the future for things that probably won't happen,like "what if",they are huge worries,yet I don't worry about my health,I don't really have any "day to day" worries that can't be solved,but can't sleep for worrying and wake up early worrying,It fills my mind day and night.

[Hidden]

Hi Kaz

This sounds so like most of us on here , so you are not alone

Dont no about meetings in your area , even though Marcus seems to be setting one up

You can always come on here & chat & rant , to people who understand , not the same I no as in person , but it really does help

I relate to your children leaving as they are getting older now , I had 6 years between my first two who now have left 26 & 32 with their own homes & lifes

Youngest he is 18 & some days I feel I am clinging on to him , cant even stand his gf some days lol as i see her as some one that might take him away , so I no how you feel , but try not to think that far ahead , when it comes you will get through it & a new life for you will start

But yes it will be different & having children about for years it can be a stuggle to imagine , but thats what we have to do , let them go when they are ready , & they do keep coming back & when they do visit like my eldest do I think gosh you are messy , not sure I could cope if you ever wanted to come back again !!!!

Just go with how you feel , we do have days where it can feel we are having to push ourselves & others when we seem to not have done much , your body needs a rest , accept how you feel rather than fight it , fighting it takes even more energy

Glad you are going to be getting some CBT thats great & am sure will be a big help

Must keep letting us no how you go on , i am hoping to have some soon , so we could compare notes

Welcome & even if you find some meetings pop on here as well

Love

whywhy xxx

[Kaz12345]

thank you all for your responses and I have pm Marcus about the possibility of local meet ups. I suppose I should feel glad I'm not the only one but don't wish these feelings on anyone. As I said, always a worrier, but can normally live with it, but as with everything I said above, I can't seem to get a grip on normal nowadays. I worry about my relationship when the children go and my oh has indicated that it will be interesting to see what happens! Not a helpful phrase! I feel like I wouldn't cope, but my rational side knows that I would. I think I put everything into the children and gave up a lot of my social life, etc, and the sudden realisation has dawned that I need a life! I have spent most of today worrying that I have upset someone .... Business, but I have had to say no to something that I said yes to in a months time as a big family party has come up which I feel we must attend. It came down to what was most important but I am feeling really bad about letting someone down, where a friend, and teenagers have said, look, it's unfortunate, it's not happened before, you've given them time to find someone else. I am trying to think, yes, not the end of the world, but I do hate letting people down and am now obsessing about it! I just feel that I do have a rational side and I'm sure I appear ok to the world but I can't stop thinking about certain subjects! I don't like confrontation and feel I need to put some boundaries in place. My oh is not the most sensitive of people and although I have told him I am depressed, which took a couple of months to do, he is not aware of the extent. I think because the cleaning and cooking goes on he thinks I'm over it. Anyway, sorry for the complete ramble.

[Hidden in reply to Kaz12345]

You sound so much like me , I am always cooking washing & ironing & when I break down because I think no one cares , I have had it pointed out "well why would they think anything is wrong when you keep going " like you though if i dont I feel bad , but then family must think she cant be that bad she is still doing

I dont like letting people down , yet get let down myself many times

I relate to it all , you are not on your own here

Keep posting & you are not rambling & this is what this site is here for to have a good rant & getting support from each other , so this is the one place you dont have to say sorry for been you !

Love

whywhy xxx

[ruby4me in reply to Kaz12345]

Hi kaz i too have just joined this site and i can totally relate to what you are saying here.I too try to carry on with normal household chores when i am having a good day i can achive lots but on bad days it's a struggle to even get out of bed because of the silly thoughts whirling round in my head. I know this is just a waiting game for me and i will get well. Being on this site helps me no end because i know there are people on here struggling too and i find the posts from whywhy very comforting as she has so much to contend with herself and yet she genuinly wants to offer help and advice to others which is very admirable keep up the good work whywhy and big hugs to everyone xx

ruby x

[kashameets]

We have a group on facebook were we set up MONTHLY meets in various areas of Kent, we are purely a self help group so do not have therapists attending the meets, everyone at a meet is a fellow sufferer.

We post all meet details on our closed/private facebook group only members of the facebook group can read anything written on it so your friends/family will not be able to see any comments on our facebook group.

Everyone wishing to come to a meet must be a member of the facebook group as everyone going must be able to communicate with each other on the closed group, everyone going must also either have a photo of themselves as a profile photo or post a photo of themselves on to our private members only album so others going can recognize each other at the meet.

Everyone who has been along to a meet have said they have found it very helpful and the people very supportive and welcoming.

The aim of the meets is to bring people together who are sufferers of various conditions so that we can talk openly and freely without feeling judged,so we can gain and give support to each other and make friends with people who truly understand how we feel....We hope to meet some of you soon.

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO JOIN PLEASE CLICK THIS LINK facebook.com/groups/ASHA.GR...

[Kaz12345]

Hi Whywhy, apart from anything else, washing, cleaning ironing etc is so boring .... Sometimes I feel that all my life is! Just wanted to respond as I read on one of your posts you have migraines - I used to have awful migraines, like you lasting 3 or 4 days and used to get so cross at people saying take a neurofen ... If only that worked! I don't know if you can take it but the only thing that worked for me was the trip tan type of drugs. but I hope I have some good news. I suffered for about 30 years, caused a lot of trouble with work, social life, relationships etc, could never see a pattern , didn't seem related to menstrual cycle, but I had menopause at 49 three years ago and they stopped, just like that!!! I hope the same happens for you!