Anxiety Support
35,121 members38,866 posts

FEAR.

You know, we all talk about fear but how many of us can define it? It's a feeling. It's a chemical imbalance. It's a hereditary factor. It's lack of certain chemicals in the brain. It's too much chemicals in the brain. etc. etc. Can we accept that it is a perfectly natural feeling?

Ah. But there's the problem. How can this horrible feeling that drags me down, makes me so ill be perfectly natural. Rubbish!! So if it is natural why does it cause so much trouble? Because the fear that we suffer from is not 'normal' fear. It is a distortion of a natural response to danger. I am sure you all know this. We have been there many times but it still surprises me how many still think it is NOT a natural happening. That it is a demon to be fought and got rid of. To try and get rid of something that is not natural is a normal response. But if we try to get rid of something that is natural by fighting and struggling with it then to find ourselves ill not surprising. Furthermore we add to the problem by creating more of this feeling by adding more fear until it is no longer a natural feeling but a distortion of it. But if we accept it as a natural feeling and don't fight it or try to get rid of it what happens? It dies away because we no longer turn it into something abnormal. We accept it as a means of warning us of danger; it becomes our friend not our enemy. Something to be thankful for and accepted as part of our defence mechanism handed down through the ages by nature. Once agian I come back to what has worked so well for many. Acceptance. jonathan.

18 Replies
oldestnewest

Wen my anxiety is less pronounced i can go wiv it + totaly take on board wot u say jonathon, but the problem i s i get in2 such an anxios state of panick that all sense goes out the window + feels like i dnt hav any control wotsoever. it has such a grip on me + really hav tried jst 2 go wiv it. i think if i knew the panick attack would end i could manage this, in which i hav sucsessfully b4. But i cant even speak or take my mind of these never endin recent attacks. i scare my self 2 the point were i can b silent 4 hours unable 2 speak or even awnser people bck. I do understand wot u sayin + does make sense if u can suckseed in doin so. keep up ur words of wisdom, great hlp.

Reply

Thanks lee. You know you never sound half as bad as you seem to think you are. Not being rude. You make a lot of sense, and although you obviously suffer, I detect a lot of common sense behind your remarks. Keep up the good work. Best wishes. jon.

Reply

Yeah jonathon, thanku i do understand wot ur sayin. I think it comes dwn 2 the fact wen were like this we feel like were constantly feelin as bad all the time but in fact it does waver + they is times wen i am able 2 carry out task more. Its like im feelin terrible but still i try 2 keep busy + it kills me somtimes but i try really hard 2 awnser peoples questions if up 2 it at that time. no matter how bad i feel + mentaly drained i do know it is not a mental brkdwn + i am sane, but in sayin so somtimes i wish it was a mental brkdwn instead as lst i wouldnt know wot was happenin 2 me. so sorry if this upsets any1 it is only a thought + i hav seen mental brkdwns + bipolar wivin my own family, so no hurt intendid. kindest regards leeanne.**

Reply

my school give me table to tack I was a sleep at back of the calss room

Reply

As usual you talk alot of sence Jonathan, this time in recovery I have accepted that my depression will more than likley come back again one day don't know when don't know how long but I now know there is a treatment that brings me out of it in a couple of months rather than a couple of years, also I now want to try to understand my nemesis better , so rather than forget about it and hide it I am very open about it and not embarassed by it any longer, only taken 20 years!! lol. I am also a bit naughty sometimes, if I suspect someone is being predgadist against mental health I will say something totally " out there " that makes them uncomfortable, so funny seeing them scuttle away with not a clue if you are seriouse or not ;-) can be quite handy at avoiding conflict in a bar too! A well timed comment and they arr gone! But I do agree that acceptance and undetstanding seem to work better for me than fighting andtrying to ignore and forget about it! Talking about it is also helpful nut in my case after it has gone I just can't when I am in a deep depression

Steve

Reply

What a good idea, thunder. "How are you?". "Well, I saw my psychiatrist this morning and he says I could have an attack at any moment!!". Now that should send them scuttling. I know, ignorance abounds. But WE know and that is the important thing. Regards. jonathan.

Reply

Hi Jonathan, I am good thanks, just working hard atm. to pay for xmas and a solicitor to sort out access to my daughter lol, at least someone benefit's from the bitches refusal to let me see my daughter( not bitter, as u can tell lol) would rather spend the money on my daughter but that is another story!

Have been well this time now for nearly nine months, this time of year normaly throes up doubts and questions like is it going to return soon but this time I have not had those doubts as I am talking about " It " more

Sure I can think my way in to a depressed state by over analysing my thoughts to much rathet than anything bad or traumatizing happening to me, sometimes I genuinely can't think of a reason why I have become depressed guess thats just a " chemical inballance" hope you are good? Where do you get all these wise words from? !! Steve

Reply

Steve, i totaly understand wot u r sayin, its 1 thing bein in a gud peace of mind 2 fight mental illness/anxiety, but wen u suffer wiv major depression u can not c clearly enough + all sence goes out the window. theres a say in that goes fight depression + go wiv anxiety (easier said than dne, i think). kindest regards leeanne.

Reply

hi am new to site and being the perfectionist that I am am busy trying to read everything that's ever been written! Hope you don't mind me asking but noticed in your conversation with Johnathon (hope its o.k.that i've been reading that -not sure of the protocol of all this yet?) you mention a treatment that 'brings me out of it in a couple of months rather than a couple of years' may I ask what treatment it is that your talking about? so good to hear that your feeling better sorry selfish of me should of put that first!

Reply

wish we could all accept and adjust

Reply

Hi. henige. No, it is not easy. What is easy about this lousy complaint? I suffered for years and gave up hope so many times that I gave up giving up hope!!! But I pressed on, and after many years, am now reasonably well. I get setbacks at times but don't we all. Cliches abound in this illness. I was going to say that unless we are in the race we cannot win! We can only do our best. As I have said before, acceptance doesn't work for everyone but, thank goodness there are other ways. Regards jonathan.

Reply

I know. I've been in the race myself for 45 years. Having also been diagnosed as visually impaired 5 years ago, for myself i had to talk myself into accepting this and adjusting.

As with panic attacks, anxiety and depression as well, I try to speak to it as if it is another person doing the attacking, and sometimes give myself a good talking to.

My GP at present could not believe the medication I was on 45 years ago, as my Dr then kept upping the dosage. I would have loved some counselling then, as my husband had died 18 months previously, but each tiny step of feeling better is such a bonus. So, take heart to all the young people on this site. Today there is more understanding about our emotional state. albeit from people who have been there, done the journey and feeling much better.

xx

Reply

Hi. henige. You are expressing something that is so important but a lot find so difficult. COURAGE. We all have it but it is a question of tapping into it. You may not feel it, and strangely most courageous people don't.

Giving yourself a good talking to is just what I used to do. (Unless my wife got there first!!). There is more understanding but we have a long way to go yet. As you may have noticed a lot of younger people feel so isolated by their anxiety and losing friends worries them. Blessings to you. Love. jonathan.

Reply

Its' only taken me 23 years nearly, and only said it is helping trying, ask me in a couple of yrars if it is working ;-) Steve. Thats the problem, after an episode of depression I feel "NORMAL" ANYWAY! Time will tell, but a little knowlage and sharing experiencees can only help I think!

Reply

I accept that fear is necessary to our survival, especially in primitive times when life was far more hazardous than it is today. The trouble is that it can get out of hand & become inapropriate, like when people develop phobias of things that are harmless. I do believe that genes affect the way we deal with stress, because anxious parents tend to have highly strung children. Then there`s the way that anxious parents treat their offspring, tending to be over protective. I know this because my mother was like this, & I`m certain that I had problems with anxiety in the past is because of her genes, & the way she treated me, trying to keep me from growing up & becoming independant of her. She had a lot to answer for, but sadly I can`t confront her about it as she died back in the 80`s.

Reply

Hi - heard once that FEAR can stand for f**k everything and run or face everything and recover -thought that was funny, your post on fear good also, thanks for that.

Reply

wirkght is hard for me

Reply

I feel more better see woman doctor not male doctor but nurse for blood I put off I fain when needle go in arm - have one come up but my wife carer will not tell me she no I worry a about it

Reply

You may also like...