Bad times ahead. I suspect

I just don't feel myself at all.

I feel like when I'm at home I'm fine everything is ok. But when I go to college I stay at my grans which is 40 mins from home. when I do I feel like my bf gets distant and just hangs out with his friends and ignores me kind of. It's making me so anxious I feel like I did before and the though set me off I don't wanna go back there ! I feel so paranoid I feel like I've only got him to talk to about things. I go to counselling every5 weeks but it really does not help at all. I feel so alone and terrified that if I lose him then I will go down hill which I will its happened before and I'm so scared !!! I can't shut my brain off !

I just want to be me and happy again

4 Replies

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  • Hi.nic. You dont feel 'yourself' because you are not 'yourself'. Let me explain. When in an anxiety state, and you are, "IT" takes over and our normal behaviour pattern is upset. Anxious thoughts, such as you are having, are the result of constant anxious thinking. You get in the viscous circle of fear and anxiety and more fear. You are NOT paranoid. That is something entirely different and would require a psychiatric opinion, and you are far from that. So forget that one. Everything seems 'different' when in this state. Rational feelings go and we start to look at events and people through our distorted anxious vision. Your boyfriend is probably a little concerned about how you feel. Have you talked to him about it? Going to counselling is good but every five weeks is not. You need it more often. Have you been to your GP? Don't put off going for fear of what they might say. They are so used to this kind of problem, especially among young people. 'When at home I feel fine'. Of course you do. You are in a 'safe' environment where no one can upset you. Facing life's challenges at your age can be daunting but it can be done. Try to talk to your boyfriend about how you feel. Why should you lose him if he tries to understand. YOU ARE NOT ABNORMAL. The feelings you have are normal feelings expected when very anxious. Try to not upset yourself too much. Love. jonathan.

  • Thanks jonathan. It just feels weird coz your mind I know plays tricks on you.

    I'm seeing my councillor next Wednesday ill see what he suggest if not help then I will go back to my gp. He last suggested tablets with mild anti depressants but I'm not 100% convinced that that's the best option. Just need something to calm me down a bit so I can think clear. Or clearer. I fear talking to my bf scared he'll think I'm crazy. I know I'm not just the fear of him thinking that and not wanting to go through it again.

  • What a fantastic answer Jon! I hope you feel a lot less anxious Nic after reading this love x Ella x

  • Well said Jonathan!!! X

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