So I know I am writing again about all my problems but I am stressing so bad now about leaving. I KNOW I need to go home and get help and I am looking forward to going home. Unfortunately everyone thinks I am making a mistake, especially as I am doing it so quickly. I need this but I have a few specific worries.
Mainly my housemates: I am on a contract for 6 months and I am only 2 months in and will have only been here 3 months when I leave. I asked the real estate and they said that I only need to make sure someone takes the room before I leave and they will be fine. I just feel really bad because I moved in November and my mum and my sis stayed with me for a bit in December and now in January I am moving out. Am I an awful housemate? I mean its not like I see them overly much, ppl just generally stay in their rooms :S I am really stressing about this. Am I being inconsiderate? I just can't stay any longer. I will never see these people once i leave... oh I feel so bad.
I am also stressing that my work will hate me> I am only a temp but I have worked there for 9 months and they rely on me and now because of my last minute decision I am going to be leaving them with only 3 weeks notice.
Am I making a bad move. I so desperately want to go home so that I am no longer alone and coping with anxiety but maybe its just because i am still waiting for my medicine to kick back in. I just can't imagine staying any longer. Oh I am so stressed and confused about what to do!!! PLEASE HELP.
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SweetieCass
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You do what is best for you and to hell with anyone else. If going home feels the right thing to do then do it. Housemates, landlords, employers, colleagues won't be there for the long haul and will come and go from your life. Think about you and only you. You have done an amazing thing leaving home and setting up halfway across the globe, don't let these anxious thoughts keep you from doing what is best for you. Pat yourself on the back and smile when you board that plane and if the fancy takes you when you are better come back. Bon voyage x
Provided you are kind and thoughtful and helpful what is wrong in what you are doing? You want to go home. Is that so unnatural? If, when you go, you leave everything in good order, including your relationships with your job and your roommates, then where's the problem? People pack up and move around all the time. I am not being unkind, but you know you are not irreplaceable. OK, so find someone to take your room. No big deal! You really are working yourself up into a right tiz, aren't Cass? Of course you are not a bad housemate or inconsiderate. This is all in your imagination. You are a sensitive person and you are projecting your anxiety and fears onto those around you who, I would suggest, have no such bad thoughts about you. As you get older you will not be so inclined to take the responsibilities of the world on your shoulders. In the meantime do what is right for you, but provided you are considerate toward others where's the problem? Good on yer, mate. Keep going Cass. Jonathan.
Cassie, hun, Hollow and Jonathan are right, you have to think of yourself, and if going home is right for you - then DO IT! i worked with a woman years ago who had the opposite problem - her family emigrated from the UK to Australia and she HATED it - sorry, not being rude about Oz lol! She couldn't cope with the heat, she missed the UK - as soon as she was old enough, she came back to the UK, alone - and i don't remember her stressing about her decision. It was right FOR HER!!! And, in the end, provided we don't REALLY hurt anyone else - and housemates, employers, etc CAN get along without us - we need to do what is right for US!!!
You're not well, hun, and it's being made worse by being away from home, family and friends and a familiar environment. Do your best by your housemates and your employer by all means, but in the end, once you step on that plane bound for Sydney or wherever, you'll wonder why you ever hesitated!!! You've shown you're incredibly strong, coming half way round the world by yourself! You can do this, you need to do it, and, if other people don't like it - well, not being hard, but in the end - tough! You have to do what's best for you - and staying here, getting ill and maybe not being able to work/pay your rent wouldn't be in anyone's interests,, most of all yours!
You go, my love, and send us poor Brits some lovely Ozzy sun!
You are all so kind. Its so nice for someone to actually understand my worries and fears. I DO need to go home and yes it is time to start thinking about myself. I seem to think like I am the only one in the world who does the things that I do and that then everyone will notice. Ha I am not that special!
I am ready to go home, I want to sit in the Sun, get out of work when its not dark and raining and spend time with my family. I want to be able to go see my psychologist and get help when I need it not weeks later. I don't regret a thing! I had an awesome year but originally it was only ever going to be a year and January will be a year exactly.
Hiya cass it's simple you must think what's best for you try to leave on a friendly basis if possible but in the end your well being comes first sometimes anxiety seems a lonely struggle but it can be overcome we tend to think what others think of us too much when mainly they're getting on with they're lives some maybe fighting problems themselves you look out for yourself get yourself home and better whats past is past now is what's now tomorrow is a new day with new possibility s good luck to you Mel
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