Hello?

Hello anyone that may read this.

I'm new on here, but I'm not new to anxiety. Too many awful things have happened this year and in August everything spiralled out of control. I ended up having a nervous breakdown and was put into a psychiatric unit for 3 weeks. I'm now on tablets for depression and anxiety, they took a long time to start working, but after a few weeks they did.

Last Thursday I went shopping and it suddenly hit me that I'm going to be on my own this Christmas, my husband and I separated in March. It felt as if I had been kicked in the stomach.

I spent the weekend alone and the horrible "A" just took control. I just feel I can't handle much more of this, it completely takes over. No deep breathing or anything helps. I just feel so lonely.

I've started to drink wine in the evenings now to try and calm myself down. I know I shouldn't, but I just can't stand anymore of it.

4 Replies

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  • Hello and welcome, I've just red ur post and really feel for u and wat ur going thou. A friend or family member mite surprise u and u may not b alone for Christmas. Fingers crossed for u. I've suffered anxiety and abit of depression which was brought on this yr as w at I went thou the yr before. I've learned to except my anxiety as part of me. I found that I was that worked up that the deep breathing neva worked for me either. I red a book called at last a life, which made me realise I had to b postive with it. Hard yes at first really hard trying to change thoughts to positive ones, but it worked. Most the time I'm more postive about it. I hope u start feeling abit better soon xxx

  • Hi. Offjut. Yes, a very good welcome to the site. I can feel your agony from here. What can I say? We can only give advice from our own experience and, having been where you are now I do understand. The thought 'hit you in the stomach', yes thoughts do when we feel how we are. But you went shopping! You are not alone and even over Christmas I am sure someone will be here to answer your blogs. Whatever we say is going to be difficult for you to do or believe, and when I say you WILL recover you may say, Oh yeah!! But it does take time and we do get impatient with time. The trauma you suffered in your marriage break- up has sensitised you but you are having treatment which is good. As you get better, even if only a little, you begin to take a different view of life but in your present state this may seem like a pipe dream. Many on this site have recovered and, unfortunately, leave the site when they feel better. So you don't get to hear about them. But they DO recover just as you will. So try to bear up and come back when you want to. Very best wishes. jonathan.

  • I am new on here too . . it seems good that I can say what I want and no one will belittle me . . I try so hard to do things for the good of everyone but I people I work with just sh-- on me and I feel as if I have let everyone down cos I haven't been able to get on with things. I feel I've let my family, friends, work mates, work colleagues and the patients down and I so want to get better for christmas. . . .even though |I personally don't like it (bah humbug ha ha)

    I want to get over the fact that people are getting at me

    Not much support for you right now but at leat it makes you see you are not alone . . sorry x

  • The weeks leading up to Christmas are THE worst time for so many people as it's supposed to be this lovely time of being with the people you care about most and everything is so nice......the reality is that it's only like that in the adverts we see on TV etc to get us to buy into the whole consumer thing. Most people just 'endure' Christmas and all the shenanigans around it and are all too pleased to see January.

    You have had a more than difficult year and been to the depths of despair ......it will not get any worse and you have survived ......you just need to keep going one day at a time.

    I understand about the wine .....it just helps a little but please don't get dependent on it for support ......the odd couple of glasses won't hurt.

    I'm not surprised you feel so bad if you spent the weekend alone with your thoughts.

    As you said the loneliness is a real issue and so hard to bear .......is there anyone at all that you can talk to and maybe tell them how you feel. Just saying it to another human being helps ..........people will want to help if you reach out to them but the main instinct is to pull up the drawbridge and isolate yourself and sadly that makes it worse.

    Try to spend some time with other people .......even if it's not really 'enjoyable' it's an important first step ........the first tiny seedlings of a new life which will come though it's hard to see it now and you have taken one step in the right direction by posting your blog here.

    Take Care PL x

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