I feel like ive just lost my right arm. x

i know this will sound daft to alot of people but my dog died a week a go and we where so close, i really do feel like ive lost my right arm. it happened so quickly, she was 16 so i should have seen it coming. i had to take her early to the vets and have her put to sleep cos she was gasping for breath and it was not reversable. it was one of the worst days of my life and my whole body shook from head to toe as i struggled to cry and breath outside the vets. i had to leave the room while they did it which i felt bad for after and still do but my anxiety was in overdrive and i thought i was going to faint. saying goodbye was awful and i will never forget that moment i had to part with my baby. ive felt lost and low ever since. im agoraphobic and social phobic so we spent alot of time together, she really did mean the world to me. ive always prefered animals to people, esp her she was sooooo lovely. my mum said to get another dog but i feel alittle bit like im pretraying her as daft as it sounds. i just feel very lost as we had such a strong bond...........i know theres not really much anyone can say i just needed to get it out as the whole experience has made me feel so ill................... R.I.P my baby fizz. xxxxx

19 Replies

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  • So sorry Sam. I'm sure she wouldn't want you to be so sad as it sounds like she had a wonderful life.

    You wouldn't be betraying her to get another dog, I'm sure thats what she would want. Why don't you get one from one of the Dogs Trust centres or one of the other places that take in dogs who have been abandoned or similar? May give you a bit of a happy feeling to know that you are doing such a good thing in re-homing it.

    There's a little (or big!) dog out there with your name on it that needs some love and you sound like you have a lot to give x

    Think of the good times and i'm sure she is still with you in spirit and always will be.

  • Sam,

    We also had to have our pet Yorkie Toby put to sleep last year, he was 17 and a half! we have had 4 Yorkies over the years, Toby's Mum and Dad and his Girlfriend too, they are all buried in the Garden in little coffins which we bought from the local Funeral people and they have our respect always, we lost two of them in one Month and it was awful to feel the hurt so bad, we will never forget them and put flowers on their graves when needed, I know it hurts like mad to lose a Pet Dog and we still cry sometimes when we talk about them, we also have videos I took of them when they were alive and running around and it is wonderful to see them even though we still miss them so much, We have an African Grey Parrot called Freddy now and he is like a Human to us, tlaks all day long and mskes us laugh every day without fail, if anything were to happen to him it would break My Heart, as for you, enjoy the Memory of that little Fizz, and cherish the fact that YOU had the pleasure of being with them for all of those years, wether good ar bad, they are your memories, all the best wishes to you.

  • So sorry Sam don't really know what to say so have a virtual hug..

  • hi. I feel sorry for you. I will have to put my cat to sleep soon and I dont know how I will cope with this. go to rspca etc. and adopt a dog. they are waiting! be strong and take care.

  • I lost my lovely dog in March 2011. I was in a terrible state for weeks afterwards so I know just how you feel.

    In the October we got a puppy and a year later I can see it was the best thing to do.

    Like you I felt I was betraying my original dog but now realise he was gone and I had to move on.

    I don't miss our first dog any less by having our new one.

  • our pets are our family.. So it is natural to feel so sad when we lose them.Grieve properly for them as they were much loved.. Have another dog my flower.. share all that love you have in your heart xxx

  • Hi Sam1891. Yes, what everyone says is absolutely right. If anyone says it is daft then they have not been through the experiance or are just plain heartless! Please get another dog and peferably one that needs looking after from an abandoned dog centre. You will feel better about it and it will take the edge off your pain. I know what is like. We had two boxers who died and we were very very upset for a long time after. Even now, years later. We identify with animals besause they give unconditional love. They do not expect anything from you in return for their love. You will not be betraying your love for your lost dog. There are lots of dogs out there who long for the sort of love you can obviously give, so do go ahead. You will never regret it. Best wishes. Jonathan.

  • thank you all for your lovely messages, dont feel so daft now. thank you so much xxxxxxxxxx

  • Hi Sam, I felt the same when I lost my cat four years ago. Jaffa had been like my little furry soul mate. On my first trip to the cat sanctuary I felt really panicked, I guess it was just too soon for me but a little while later 7 week old Marley came into my life. He's nothing like my Jaffa, which is OK, Jaffa will always hold a very special place in my heart but Marley has found a place there too and while he's probably one of the most stupid cats I've ever known, he provides me with great entertainment and he's good company in his own way. Marley is MY stupid cat and I love him dearly :) xxx

  • hi sam ,

    been there too,i lost my previous dog at 5 years old, i had been out to a xmas dance and when i got home ,I searched every dogs home and rescue centre within a 50 mile raduis for something excactly like him,but dint find one,stopped at the local rspca home every day on the way home from work just in case one like him had come in,eventuall i saw a puppy that was nice but was very unsure as it had dark glassy eyes which showed no feeling ,i pondered over what to do for about two weeks ,then one of the staff told me the mother was there as well ,turned out to be a doberman cross alsation.I then saw a puppy that i liked that had nice soft eyesApparently it had been kept in a garage tiil ten moths old with no contact with any other animals or people ,some food was thrown on the floor when they remembered,and he was left lying in his own excrement ,he was in such a mess when he was brought in the girl who cleaned him up had to go home to shower and change ,i took him for a few short walk and we got to know each other ,it was hard to hold him in my arms as he was a budle of energy and so exited to be with someone .then one day we went home together .The staff there said he would be very hard work as he had not been socialised with people or other animals .

    seventeen years later we are still together and best friends and i have never had a days trouble with him at all,i know i am about to lose him very soon and have been putting off taking him but what i have learned is that you can never have one that is excactly the same ,each is a different charecter,but will often have the same nature when brought up by the same person ,it how you treat them that makes them what they are ,you can do nothing more for the one you lost ,but will always keep the memories of that one ,but you can give a good loving home to another ,that doesnt make you love the one you lost any less,

    i still kept the ashes of my last and will do so with this one and when i go ,we will all go together .my advice would be to try to go around some of your local rescue places and have a look around ,take your time ,if you see one you like ,ask if you can take it for a little walk ,spend a little time with it ,get to know it a little and you will find one that is right for you ,,

    the sad part of having a dog is that they do not live as long as us ,unfortunately we cant do anything about that ,but we can give a loving home to another one that needs it ,and i found they appreciate that after a bad start and love us even more

  • losing a beloved pet can be devastating. grieve for Fizz but rejoice for the times you had with her. You have memories no-one can take away. If you do get another pet, they will make new memories, you'll never replace fizz, you just start a new chapter.

    I'm sending you a caring virtual hug, be kind to yourself, don't feel guilty for anything, your actions, and reactions,were loving ones.

    regards,

    sandra.

  • I too have had to have a much loved pet put to sleep, you know you did the right thing for fizz. She was very poorly and you would not let her suffer. Getting a new dog will not replace fizz nothing ever will. But, you have lots of love to give an animal and the comfort they give you. Remember fizz you always remember the good times take care xx

  • Hi Sam

    I m sooooo sorry for your baby/best friend.I had to go through the same few years ago with my lovely dog ;-) she s till in my heart I shared ten years of glide with her and she had a good life.After few years I decide to go for a cat cause I m not allowed to have dogs and my baby is another miracle of nature...maybe take some time for yourself and when u re ready u can give all your love to a wonderful puppy..hugs:-)

  • HY Sam

    Just reading about your lost has the bought tears to my eyes. I have been through this pain

    twice before. Knowing your dog is in a safe place will help. I wish i could take your pain away

    but know i cant, But remember this too will pass.

    Thinking of you.

    regntcy

  • You've bought back sad memories for me I lost one of my dogs benno a springer I've always like them there so daft I can understand how you felt I sat in the vets sobbing but I went home I felt I didn't want another one but ive had a couple of dogs since just as daft so it must be me but give yourself a bit of time not too long and get your self another your not letting your last dog down you gave her a good life your grieving for her and get yourself another one to give a good life to all the best mate Mel

  • Thank you so so so so much for your messages. i am coming to terms with the situation now even though i still feel rough. my mum is friends with the breeder i got fizz from and she has more dogs from the fizz line of family which made me feel nice, a little bit of fizz is still here:)

    im going to have a look soon just to see how i feel around them. im looking forward to it but also sad, hope i can control the tears! thank you all. xxxxxxx

  • Hi Sam,

    So sorry to hear of the loss of your dog. I know exactly how you feel as I lost my beautiful boxer dog in 2009 to cancer and he was only 4 years old. Me and my family were devastated and it made my anxiety worse. I decided to get another dog straight away to see if this would help. We got a chocolate labrador 3 days later and although my boxer Wes could never be replaced and never forgotten, getting another dog really helped me with my loss. I hope everything gets better for you xx

  • Thank you, im going tonight to look at some dogs if my anxiety doesnt get the better of me. sorry about wes, thats such a young age to go, and i think your right another dog will help me. take care. xxxx

  • Hello Sam

    So sorry that you lost your close friend its hard i know.

    I read your blog and started to cry because i could feel your pain as i lost my best friend a doberman 2yrs ago and miss him dearly i had him for 10 yrs.

    It does get better as time passes but the memory of good time will always be in your mind

    Just remember all the good times.

    Best regards to you xxxxxx

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