WILL THIS EVER STOP?

thank you so much to everyone who answered my previous question; it's so lovely to find a site with such lovely people who actually understand how I'm feeling instead of talking to people who feel I should just pull myself together. I would love to know if what i'm currently experiencing is 'normal'. Several times a day when i'm going about my normal business I find that I have to stop and sit down and literally stare into space for a few minutes before being able to carry on and in those moments I feel terrible and feel I can't cope with life anymore. After this happens my face is always aching? I'm on 40g citaprolam and am due to be assessed to see whether CBT would be useful for me. I can't imagine living the rest of my life like this, pretending to my husband that i'm ok and actually interested in life which I'm not really. Am starting to feel what's the point of going on and feel that my children shouldn't be burdened with a parent with MH problems. I know there are 1000s of people much worse than myself but I just feel i'm on a horrible slippery slope. :(

4 Replies

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  • Izzywhizz you are marvelous dear! Yes it is normal.... just as normal as your face aching. I suspect you are clenching the muscles in your neck or face whilst you are taking a moment in space. I can remember feeling like that when my children were young. You are very brave and strong and I would have a word with your husband about how you feel, even show him your letter. He will be worrying about you, we can't hide our real feelings completely. I find myself watching the curtain instead of the tele all the time. In a world of my own lol. I hope the cbt helps you. Children are better off with a parent with mental health problems than no parent at all. I asked mine when they grew up....and they were shocked. Poor souls : ) ! I hope you feel better soon...the only way is up now xxxxx

  • I'm exactly the same my story began only ten months ago and I wonder if it will ever go away sometimes. Stay strong and treat each day as a new beginning. Like a turtle, be at ease in your shell : )

  • dear lzzywhizz, of course this is normal,im suffering with this for nearly 30 years,i started cbt, and the first thing i learned was not to hide how I feel,tell your children and husband,you'll be surprised how relieved it will make you feel,its nothing to be ashamed of,I would highly recommend cbt,I have panic disorder, agrophobia,and was housebound,since starting cbt,Iam walking out on my own,anxiety has gone way down,and everyone knows how I feel.Iam not cured ,but im learning how to cope with what is wrong with me,so please open up your heart to your family,Iam not taking anidepressants,cannott tolerate them,but I take xanax every day,this is just an illness like any other,it sucks but its nothing to be ashamed of,please keep in touch..xx

  • Dear izzywhizz. I go along entirely with what everyone has said. But there is one other factor to take into account and that is sensitivity. You will find that people who suffer from our form of anxiety are sensitive people. They usually carry other peoples burdens! Watching suffering children on TV can bring them to tears. The hardnosed could'nt care less ones rarely suffer from anxiety. But ask yourself what you would rather be. Yes, empathising with others can be painful, but it can bring out the best in you. We who suffer are couragous people. It takes courage to face the sort of experiences we go through that is why learning coping techniques is important to boost that courage. We are not cowards or defficient in some way. It may be that those who do not suffer lack compassion; and what sensitive person would'nt suffer with the world as it is. Everyone who contributes to this site is compassionate whether they know it or not. To recognise suffering in others and try to help is a sign of our humanity. So carry on everyone. Best wishes to all.

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