help!!!! I can't do this! :'(

Sorry it's me again. I'll try to be brief - I'm in my 60s and believe about 75% of my anxiety/depression is due to my geographical/personal/housing circs. I don't see myself getting better in it. I have the possibility (not the certainty) of moving to accommodation/area which I think will be more conducive to my health - far more opportunities for cultural/intellectual activity and social interaction - quite apart from a much more attractive city than the town I presently live in (though that wouldn't be difficult!)

I;m due to go and view the accommodation Monday week, a friend is driving me down - I panicked about that big-time. I'm now panicking about the whole thing - I'm chewing diazepam like there's no tomorrow! Part of me knows - or believes - that I've GOT to try it; part of me thinks - I CAN'T!!!! The only - slightly melodramatic! - analogy I can come up with is - its like, say, you're scared of heights, but you're being chased by a madman with a machete; the only escape is over a rope bridge across a huge chasm. If you don't cross the rope bridge, you will die - but CAN you cross the bridge? I'm standing on the edge of the clifff, looking at the bridge and, at the moment, thinking - I can't do it!

Anyone got any advice/strategies to offer? Sorry to be a pain. Thanks

10 Replies

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  • Prepare for the day, make sure you have everything you need. Lay clothes out if necessary. Check meds, everything down to maybe needs. Trust me , when that day comes, you will just get on with it and be so relieved that it is here. I find it very difficult to plan ahead , but if everything is ready that you need it takes the pressure off a little. I wish you the best....and remember " it's just 1 day , not even 24 hours " x

  • The only way i would deal with this is do not think about it, for me planning makes the whole situation worse. I found that if i put my mind to something different then when the day comes its there, no backing out just do it. That way you will not have to worry about it. But remember this is how things have worked for me and i know we are all different but anything in anyone's situation is worth a try. Good luck and i do hope you find your way of coping with this. x

  • Thank you both. Not sure any more if it's just the trip down there - it was, at first - or whether it's the whole move/life change thing I can't cope with. I do think I've become virtually agoraphobic over the last few years - never was, despite what my doctor said yesterday! - and moving out of my comfort zone is really hard. Thanks, and good to "meet" you both xx

  • Well, it's a big decision and a big change. Of course you're going to worry, panic, feel serious anxiety. But that doesn't mean it's wrong. If we don't push ourselves outside our comfort zones, we will never know whether something will work or not! But if you stay put, you KNOW nothing is likely to change for you.

    Just be aware though that you always take yourself with you and you won't automatically become anxiety-free and happy overnight. To some extent we take our problems with us, but that doesn't mean we can't change and that the decision was the wrong one.

    I'd say that the previous posters have very good advice and I agree with it. I'd add too that you should just accept for the moment that you feel very anxious and allow yourself to have those feelings. Try not to be frightened by them. They won't harm you. Notice the body sensations the anxiety causes, like a curious scientist, but without judging it or panicking that something worse might happen. They will pass, as all feelings will and do. They are in a sense part of your mind and body's way of preparing you, psyching you up for this move. Say to yourself: 'it's OK to feel this. However I am feeling, it's OK, and it will pass.'

    Good luck! x

  • Moving is a big decision and very heart rendering if you have emotional ties there but at some point in our life we do deal with these life changing experiences and for most they are more than hard to cope with and for others they are easy but moving is the hardest thing anyone has to do and never let anyone tell you differently. But there are people out there who can help you. I would suggest if you rent your property then please speak with your housing and ask them if there is any help available with moving. I know there is in my area and i know it wont take the fear away but it does release a lot of presures from you. Sometimes things are not avoidable so we have to just get on with them and i know its easier said than done but life is like this and we do have to take the bull so to speak by horns and do it. Once its done then we can pat ourselves on the back because we would have got through it and that is an achievement to say the least. Hope anything i have said has been helpful. Good luck. x

  • Thanks, everyone! No, I know it won't solve all my problems - in fact, it might well bring others, because don't think I'll be able to smoke where I'mhoping to go, and whilst I need/want to give up, not sure I can! Also, will I find a dr who will give me diazepam - my Gps have known me for 30 years and WILL but so many won't these days.But for someone who is virtually agoraphobic at the moment - I mean, I can get to shops and that, but further afield is difficult - to envisage moving halfway across the country - seriously scary!

    Thanks

    Rose x

  • Well i have a lot of empathy for you with this move and all the problems you feel it may bring. I understand also about your medication and the thought of you new GP not prescribing them.

    If you have been on them for all these years then they should not just take you off them as they are highly addictive which im sure you know anyway and it would cause you more complications for them to do this.

    So firstly hun i would not worry too much about that, speak with your own GP about this with medication and ask their advice, they are bound to be more equipped on what you should do or how they will make sure your new GP continues your therapy/medication.

    Its all well and good Doctors saying no we cannot give you this and give you that but when you do move to a new GP your medical records will move with you, just make sure of one thing when you first go, that all your medical records are transferred.

    They need to know everything about your health and medication. It may be a good idea to get a good supply from your current GP to last you until your new appt with your new GP then at least your not panicking too much that you will not have any.

    Some GP's will support you that way because they know only too well how hard it can be. Just a suggestion hun to help your fears subside a bit.

    Hope they work for you. Good luck with everything whatever you decide to do. You will make it and get there with no problems. xx

  • Deborah,

    Thank you so much for such a kind and understanding reply! No, I dn't think a GP would just withdraw the diazepam without a weaning off period, to be honest, it's just - well, when I have panic attacks, they're the only thing that really helps! I have talked to my doctor and said I do not think I'm addicted - I am addicted to nicotine, in that i smoke when I'm happy, smoke when I'm sad; I smoke to enjoy something, and I smoke to forget someting, and if I'm deprived of them for oh, anything over 2 hours, feel very uncomfortable. With the diazepam, that is not the case - when I'm "okay" I don't even think about them - but, as I said to my GP, I think I'm dependent, not addicted, to the diazepam, and they've agreed. I have actually checked some of the dr's surgeries where I'm going, and there is at least one GP who has a special interest in psychiatry, so might - if the move goes ahead - try to get on his list, he might be the most understanding. I don't want to stay on meds for the rest of my life, but the last 6 or so years have been very difficult for various reasons - which is why i want a new start - so getting off my "life-support" systems of pills and fags will be difficult, wherever I am. Hopefully, a better environment will help.

    Yes, it's a good idea to talk to my GP before/if I go, I'm sure he would give me a plentiful supply to "tide me" over; I might even ask if he'd give me a letter to my next GP - I know they'll have my medical records, but they're more likely to read a letter than to wade through my huge file!!!

    Thanks so much for your support and good wishes, Deborah, with any luck, I WILL make the move and it will be the start of a new and, fingers crossed, better period of life for me.

    All the best

    Rose xxx

  • Well Rose you sound very very positive within this message so i know you are looking forward to moving but not the actual move which i can go along with too but once its done its done and then your new life begins. Its difficult i know but there has to be a way forward and for yourself the new start would be the best way.

    I do not know your situation and dare say i think i would not want to know but whatever the reason for your move initially i do hope it is for the better and not just for an escape route.

    Good luck and best wishes with everything. xxx

  • Thanks Deborah, will reply properly when I'm up to it - thanks so much for your support.

    Rose xxx

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