Just thought i would update as haven't been about since my initial post a few weeks back.
I started the beta-blockers, was taking 10mg in the morning and 10mg late afternoon, i was getting side effects to them for the first week and It took a good week for me to see that they were helping as i then realised i had 4 days of no anxiety symptoms. After the realisation i was feeling "normal" the anxiety slowly started creeping back.
I have come to the conclusion that the anxiety and panic attacks i have been suffering with the last few months was triggered by my grans ill health and then death
We had to wait for a inquest before we could organise her funeral and it was taking awhile to sort.
Anyway her funeral was very difficult, i lost track of how many tablets i took that day as i was just not coping.
To my surprise the next day i literally felt a weight had been lifted off my chest and i had a couple of good days feeling "normal" again
After this my partner took me to Lancaster for the weekend so we could go for walks and to help me clear my head a bit. i spent the whole weekend with my mind ticking over that there was something wrong with my heart again (first time I've had this bad, again in awhile) as i could feel a little pain in the middle of my chest. Didn't help that we went into Lancaster castle for the tour and the guide locked us in a tiny cell and turned the lights off, normally this wouldn't bother me but i started sweating and having palpitations and just felt like screaming get me out of here!! i didn't though, i just closed my eyes and took deep breaths.
Well since then i have found out i'm pregnant so haven't took any beta-blockers since i found out a week ago, as i'm not sure i can take then whilst pregnant so i have a doc appointment on the 7th.
Since finding out i'm pregnant my anxiety seems to have shifted to the pregnancy now and not my own health as such but it hasn't been too bad this week.
I also had my first cCBT session this week, its all done on computer and the first session just went through how anxiety and depression can take a hold of someone. I had to go through my own anxiety issues and I've had to keep a note of when my anxiety has affected me this week. Also had to arrange a pleasurable task i haven't done in awhile to enjoy one day this week so i chose baking.
Baking didn't go to plan yesterday and i ended up making a liquorice allsorts sweet tree instead lol!