I have been suffering from a really bizarre fear of it being dark. I am not frightened of the dark as such, I have this bizarre compulsive thought that I am going to panic about it being dark and that the only thing that can stop me panicking is it being light again. Which of course no one can control. I fear I am going to go crazy if I cant control the panic. Needless to say I always do but in the back of my mind I worry there will be an occasion when I will struggle to control it and it will overwhelm me and I wont be able to cope.
I feel so tearful at the moment. I use all the techniques like distraction and CBT and acceptance but its like being on a roller coaster ride for hours on end. Just when I have calmed myself for a bit and have ten minutes calm it rises back up again and then I am hurtling back down out of control.
The tears are rolling down my cheeks, not through self pity, I think they are more of a release, like when you were a child, they can be soothing sometimes and release some of the pent up feelings.