Trying to get on with it but finding it so hard

I have been suffering from a really bizarre fear of it being dark. I am not frightened of the dark as such, I have this bizarre compulsive thought that I am going to panic about it being dark and that the only thing that can stop me panicking is it being light again. Which of course no one can control. I fear I am going to go crazy if I cant control the panic. Needless to say I always do but in the back of my mind I worry there will be an occasion when I will struggle to control it and it will overwhelm me and I wont be able to cope.

I feel so tearful at the moment. I use all the techniques like distraction and CBT and acceptance but its like being on a roller coaster ride for hours on end. Just when I have calmed myself for a bit and have ten minutes calm it rises back up again and then I am hurtling back down out of control.

The tears are rolling down my cheeks, not through self pity, I think they are more of a release, like when you were a child, they can be soothing sometimes and release some of the pent up feelings.

4 Replies

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  • Hi Pingu

    I m sorry you are not well.I used to panick at night time in the dark,I use to sleep with the light on all night long.what I found usefull is a led light that switch on when is dark and switch off with the day light.i m always worried to panick in the dark at night time that a why I m using it.and it s fine.it s not a big deal.i found having anxiety is a roller coaster,some day are good and some are less good.it takes time to see some improvements.be positive we will get through this.hope u re better today.hugs

  • HI PINGU sorry to hear your not well i cry too it helps hope your feeling a little better today x

  • Hi Pingui I read your message and I wake every morning crying afraid to face the day wondering what anxiety its going to bring as I have said to you my husband has Altizheimer, and with the panics I suffer, agoraphobia, a d afraid to be alone at any time.

    I used to be able to talk to my husband, and we would try and dl slmething together tol take my mind off it, as much that is able, but now, he does not understand what I mean. I am so lonely, and when I panic, I want to run, but where to only out of my body, I have been on meds over 40 years, Please can someone help me love from Linden.

  • Hi Pingu :) hope you're feeling better today, i guess one of the big problems with anxiety generally is having a fear of irrational things, the dark is one of those i suppose (and also i always find things seem a lot more irrational in the dark)... I guess it's an form of panic disorder, panicking about panicking in certain situations, something I can relate to... it's horrible. Keep going with the CBT and keep crying too... this sounds ridiculous i know but i wished i cried more for exactly the reason you gave, to release emotion. Best wishes :)

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