Constantly worried about my health

[11walking22]

Hi everyone I’m a 54 year old man soon to be 55 last year I had a stent put in my LAD in heart which was a shock I’m struggling on a daily basis to cope with my anxiety problems every pain seems to be exaggerated and I’m not coping very well I have been back 4 or 5 times to the A&E and all my checks are ok but I’m always thinking the worse every time I have chest pain my doctor thinks I’m ok and explains to me that the cardiologist is fine with my results this is putting a strain on my marriage and that’s not fair on my wife any help appreciated

[Hidden]

Hello

I can relate to you so much

I have always had severe anxiety to start with as well as Health anxiety so when I had my first heart attack in Oct last year and then I was 57 just a few months before I was 58 the anxiety that I already suffered with went into overdrive

I was not as lucky as you in some ways as like you I think just and still do panic over every pain , feeling sensation I get and I did have another HA in Feb followed in March and now waiting for a Bypass as they could not stent me

So I am nearly 8 months in and my Husband is great with me but I can see the strain it is putting on him only because he is as upset this happened to me and hurt watching me suffering so much and maybe your wife is feeling the same , they want to help but sometimes all the support they are giving us is not working and they must be worried to

I do sit and talk with my Husband so we can check in how not just me but how we are both feeling he has admitted he is struggling only because it hurts him so much seeing me in this dreadful state and he just does not know how to help me

Have you sat down with your wife and had a good talk about not only how you feel but how she is feeling and coping to as this does affect our loved one's

Also some Counselling and maybe going on something mild for your anxiety might help these are things if not already you can talk with your Doctor and Consultant about

It is good news though that every time you have been back to the Hospital you have been given the all clear but of course we have to find that line where we need to go or do we need that reassurance , I know this is where I get confused , some might and true if we think something is wrong we should get checked but when you have anxiety you are always thinking something is wrong and to be honest as this is a daily anxiety with me I might as well move in the Hospital !

I am still struggling , still trying to work out how to get this into perspective so even though I don't have the answer but others might I wanted to let you know you are not alone in how you are feeling and now you have somewhere to come and talk which may help you , I really hope so x

[11walking22 in reply to Hidden]

Many thanks for your reply it’s hard to open up to your loved ones as you feel you are burdening them with your problems and maybe that’s why I don’t I worry about them too and how it’s affecting their life I will try and ask her more about her feelings the doctor says it’s more likely to be Musculoskeletal but I can help worrying if I have nothing to worry about I worry I’m awaiting a callback from self help who I dealt with a while ago but lost touch with hopefully they can help me 🙏🙏🙏

[Hidden in reply to 11walking22]

I really do know how you are feeling and how that fear is Been a women I also know how frustrating it is when Men just won't open up and tell us how they are feeling we need to know

It took several months till my Husband nearly had what looked to me a breakdown one weekend and he never breaks down but we started talking I never realised what all this and how it was affecting him to I was so wrapped up in my own fear

Talk to her , this could be half of the battle won just by knowing what each other is feeling and going through , relationships thrive on good communication they really do

I am glad you have made contact to get self help , but also your Doctor maybe able to refer you to , I say get all the help out there you can

By helping yourself it will help your wife to

Yes I am told mine is muscular to but I know how it still worries you and that self doubt

Do you have a Cardia Rehabilitation Nurse they can be really helpful to talk to , talking is the best therapy x

[11walking22 in reply to Hidden]

I have their number at the Cardio rehab team but I’ve not spoke to them in a while as I started doing my own walking after they discharged me I did over 405,000 steps in March for Prostate Cancer and although I’m not doing near that amount I’m still doing at least 4 hours a week walking so I will give them a call tomorrow

[Hidden in reply to 11walking22]

Well you are doing better than me I am to afraid to take any steps but I think once I get this Bypass out the way I am hoping that will change I think it is a great idea to give them a call they are not just there to physically support us but as this is such a life changing event that affects us they are there to support us when we are struggling with our fears to

I phone mine sometimes everyday , it helps to get that little bit of reassurance

Let us know how you get on and as I keep saying get all the support out there on offer , it will help you to gain your confidence back because for me it has shattered mine and that is what I need a lot of help with x

[Pugglesworth]

Greetings.

I also feel your pain. I'm mid-fifties and have two stents: one in the first diagonal and the other in the LAD. Both were placed about a year apart and hit me hard as well. I was in great shape at the time and I just gave up my workouts and proper diet after they were placed. Why? Well, I really didn't know until my brother, who had a quintuple bypass told me my heart had been operated on and I was going through a period of mourning. What should have been good news (no heart attack) was met with a 'Why bother' attitude. Quite a conundrum.

I also suffer from anxiety. I get chest tightness, pins and needles, coldness, hotness, headaches and other symptoms related to muscle tension. I do my best to relax what I can and accept that I'm tense.

My favorite anxiety book is 'Hope and Help for your Nerves' by Claire Weekes. It's an older book, but she writes as if she is speaking directly to you. She was an Australian psychologist who suffered from panic attacks.

[Jimmyluke55]

No how you feel love I wake up every morning shaking and exhausted I worry iv got something really wrong with me it terrible I dread getting up in a morning take care carole x

[Mumov9]

Morning. I know exactly how you feel. I had a burst anurysm causing a brain haemorrhage nearly 3years years ago. Had to have a life saving operation on my brain. Now every little pain I get in my head the anxiety kicks in and start to panic thinking it's happening again and this time I'm not going to be so lucky. I have to try and talk myself out of if otherwise I would be at hospital every week. Take care

[The_Lord_is_with_Us]

Remember ... the Lord is always with you in times of trouble and tribulation.

My plan that broke the severe anxiety cycle .... then began the healing that kept it in remission.

(1) It was so severe that a short session (30 days) of Ativan barbiturate was needed to break the cycle. No more than that so as not to get addicted. (This is optional. Perhaps it can be done with some of the lighter, natural tips below.)

(2) Then, I educated myself on what exactly anxiety is. I read books written for sufferers on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) ... and I ordered some online Anxiety Help courses with MP3's and work books. Both helped me tremendously to understand what it was. The online help courses were created by severe sufferers, so they know.

(3) Then, I began to de-stress my life. No politics. No upsetting news. No TV shows that irritated or hyped me. NO staring at a phone all day long. I replaced the bad with good: tackling all areas of my life where I needed help, like sleeping.

(4) My sleep was terrible, so I started doing guided meditation every day (using famous UK hypnotist Glenn Harrold's CD's. First one was COMPLETE RELAXATION). I initiated a bed routine. No food or water 3+ hours before bed. Black out shades in room and eye shades. White noise machine next to bed. One hour before bed, I took 1mg of Melatonin. If that didn't work, I bumped it up '1mg' to max of 3mg. If that didn't work, I switched to Valerian herb capsule. If that didn't work, then I did both. During daytime .... I would take a Stress Formula like Gaia Stress Response .. and drink calming teas all day, like chamomile. Finally, I would put several drops of Lavender Essential Oils on each side of my pillow (does wonders for sleep).

(4a) I upped my magnesium intake. It's calming, soothes the heart, eases muscle tension, and helps with sleep. It's also involved in 300+ processes in the body .... and most people are deficient.

(5) Then, I cleaned up my diet. Out with all the stimulants: caffeine, soda pop, sugar, corporate food, fast food, alcohol, cigarettes, candy, bakery goods, refined carbs, bad fats and oils, etc. In with close to the earth, low-processed foods (organic and plant-based, if possible). Drank lots of filtered, clean water and calming teas. Took a green powder supplement like spirulina and chlorella each day and a quality multi-vitamin (no garbage).

(6) Next, I instituted an exercise program. I used walking. Built up to 3 hours each day (10+ miles). However, you don't have to go that far. Just get moving. Helps with everything: weight, mood, sleep, digestion, toxin elimination, metabolism, etc.

(7) Then, you need to quit focusing internally and switch to external healthy focus, so start a hobby or two. I chose photography, but it could be anything you enjoy. Preferably anything that gets you away from social media.

(8) I chose no prescription drugs. None of them were healing or helpful for me. You can use valerian as a calmative during the daytime (and there are other herbs and supplements that work the same way as prescription drugs. Just find something that takes the edge off for you.)

(9) Get spiritual. Read the Bible everyday. Jesus had plenty to say about anxiety. Give your 'worries' to Him and you'll soon find miraculous healing.

(10) Change your negative thinking (you'll learn about this in CBT books). Anxious people think in 'Good / Bad' and 'White / Black' extremes about all issues. Healthy thoughts consider all the variations of gray in the middle between the extremes. Not EVERYTHING is a catastrophe or WILL BE a catastrophe.

(11) Recognize that anxiety will not harm you like you think it will. It's a paper tiger that incites FEAR in you, so it can feed and grow. Once you defuse it .... your on your way to healing.

(12) It won't fade overnight ... but if you chip away at it from various angles laid out in this post, soon you will be in control and it will recede. Soon ... anxiety will become just a bad memory you've left behind.

It's easy to do. Just get started. Once you face it down ... that's when you gain control of your anxiety. It knows you're the Boss and its days are numbered. Good Luck!