Stupid insecurities

[DemureRose]

Disclaimer: This isn’t really anxiety related.

I have ALOT of insecurities about pretty much everything about me. There’s very little I like about myself and the things I do like, aren’t enough for me to feel confident.

But my biggest insecurity of all is the fact that I have what some call a “baby face.” Basically, I’m 18 years old but I look maybe 14.

Now I know that when I’m like 30 and I look 25, I’ll be happy to have a baby face. But I’m 18. I want to be treated as such.

I think it makes it worse that I have a very serious and mature attitude. Always have. I’m not one to be silly or childish. I like have legitimate conversations about politics or world issues. Unfortunately, because I look so young, nobody tends to start those sort of conversations with me. And it’s a problem I’ve had for years.

I’ve always gotten along better with people older than me. Always.

I have a lot of older cousins so I had to adapt myself to understand older conversations, which made it hard for me to converse with people my own age. And it doesn’t help that few people my own age have any substance to them.

Probably the worst part about looking young being my insecurity is that it’s an insecurity people don’t understand. Which means people point it out ALOT.

Nearly every time I tell someone how old I am, without fail, I get reactions like “really??” Or “no way!” “Seriously? I thought you were like 13!” And while no harm is meant by those comments, some may feel like their compliments, they do tend to make me feel like a knife is in my stomach.

When I tell you that I almost started bawling when a person at my work said ”You’re...12 right?” God that hurt me so bad. 16 I can handle. Even 14 depending on the day. But 12? That’s still a little kid.

And because I’m told I look so young, I feel ridiculous doing nearly everything. How stupid must it look when I’m driving down the road? How strange do people find it when they see what looks like a 12 year old checking out at the grocery store or buying clothes with a debit card? And then I start worrying about later in life when I need to dress professionally. Am I going to look like a little kid playing dress up?

It’s hard enough having insecurities. But it’s so much harder when your insecurity isn’t one people understand. When it’s one that people don’t see as “rude” or “offensive.”

[Agora1]

Hi Rose, This post could have been written by me except for the "insecurities". I've come

a long way with that innocent baby doll face. lol I even won a big ole teddy bear at a

carnival once when I had them guess my age. I had to show him my driver's license.

Everyone needs to use the gifts they were given in life. A psychiatrist once told me that

I was a "little girl/woman". What proves who you are is not your looks but what comes

out of your mouth.

Hang on to your youthful look. So many women spend a fortune in looking young. And wait

when you go back to your high school reunion and they don't recognize you as you didn't age. You blossomed. Looking younger also has it's benefits in being able to relate to all

age groups.

My looks had nothing to do with who I became and what I experienced in my life.

My hard work and determination and confidence in myself made me achieve my goals.

So "smile" when someone compliments you on how old you look. Life isn't about looks

but about reasons and achievements in being the best we can be. Smile baby face xx